Read Online Beyond Tantra: Healing Through Taoist Sacred Sex by Mieke Wik, Stephan Wik - Free Book Online Page A

– Healing Through Taoist Sacred Sex We’d reserved an evening and I started by arranging a mattress with a nice cloth on it in front of the open fire. I then put on some soft music that I had especially bought for the occasion. Mieke lay down on the mattress and I picked up the bottle of massage oil. I gently poured a bit on her back.
    ‘Aargh!’ she cried and jerked away from me. ‘That’s cold!’
    Right, cold massage oil on a warm back is not such a great feeling.
    Unfortunately, I immediately went into my ‘I can never do anything right’ state and Mieke, noticing this, shut up completely and said precious little that evening. Oh well, so much for the relaxation and communication exercise.
    The next week we tried again. Mieke, who had done quite a bit of massage and attended a course or two, chatted with me as I lit the fire. I asked her what we might have learned from last week and what we might do differently. I really was trying to learn this communication stuff. She looked at me as if to see whether I was really serious in wanting to know, and whether I would be upset if she said something. I guess I must have looked approachable and she ventured:
    ‘You know, I learned in my course that, when you give a massage, you pour the oil into the palm of your hand and let it warm up a bit first. That way it feels really nice when you then put your hands on someone.’
    Since this was not a criticism directed at me, I had no trouble hearing her and thought, ‘now that’s a clever idea!’ This time, when I applied the oil, I got to hear ‘mmmm’ instead of ‘aargh’. Things went much better that evening.
    That probably sounds like a really simple story. But within it lay the seeds of a complete transformation in our relationship. I started to listen, and Mieke started to talk. For the previous twenty years it had usually been the other way around. Once we learned how to do this, i.e. take turns speaking and listening and really hear each other, we found that there was absolutely no problem, small or large, that we couldn’t sooner our later find our way through.
    So what was the difference? Instead of saying ‘last week you poured cold oil on me and it was awful’ she shared some information with me to help make the experience pleasant. That made all the difference in the world to me and gave me a chance to relax and realize that she, too, wanted to have a nice time and was very willing to help make the evening a success. No, this wasn’t a blinding flash of transformation or inspiration, just a small shift in the way we were interacting with each other. But it did set the stage for unblocking and releasing large amounts of tension and mistrust that had accumulated over our years together.

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    Practising Sacred Touch – Mieke’s Story
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    Mieke’s Story
    New challenges present themselves at regular intervals during our sessions.
    This time the problem is with touching myself in a sexual way in front of Stephan. I have always been very shy; even as a child and teenager I would blush at the slightest look from someone I did not know very well, let alone a man! I thought I had got over this in my thirties and forties, but now I realize I am still very shy, even in front of my partner of so many years! One night we were preparing ourselves in front of the fire. I found it really difficult to touch my nipples, or any other sensitive part of myself, while Stephan was watching. Of course I had done all this before, in the privacy of my bed, or my room, when I was alone. I wondered why I felt so shy now? I don’t have anything to hide! I felt really naked, vulnerable, scared even, to show this part of myself I had hidden for so long. Then I realized something important: how can I be comfortable being touched by another when I can’t openly touch myself? Many thoughts and feelings go through my head! Why am I so shy to show my partner that I get sexually excited? Perhaps one