Read Online Betting on Beaumont: A Brooklyn Novel #3 (The Brooklyn Series) by Danielle Jamie - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Danielle Jamie
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up to Kayden’s suite, I bee-line it straight for the Pink Taco. I need a shot and some carbs to get me through this talk with Jax.
Jax rests his hand at the small of my back as he leads me in the direction of the bar. With every step we take I feel the all too familiar nervous knot forming in my stomach. It’s there every single time I think about talking to Jax. He is so damn sweet, the last thing I want to do is hurt him. With everything I’ve been through with Dixon and then Zak, he’s been my rock through it all without me ever having to ask him.
“I’m going to use the restroom. Be right back.” He whispers into my ear before pressing a soft kiss to my cheek. I feel a mixture of light flutters and sharp bee stings in the pit of my stomach.
“Okay.” Is all I say before bringing my attention back to the bartender who’s busy mixing a row of drinks.
I hate that I feel all these mixed feelings stirring inside of me. It’s like I have a tornado in my head. It’s pulling in every emotion that I’m feeling and shaking them up, tearing them apart and scattering them around my head. I find myself scurrying around frantically trying to collect the broken pieces and put them back together. But they’re alike but different at the same exact time that I can’t figure out how to fix any of them. So I find myself frustrated and confused as I try to decide where I go from here.
It’s why I panicked and chose Jax. Dixon messed with my emotions to the point that I threw myself at Jax just so I could try to forget him. But the entire time I’ve been with Jax I always feel like there’s a piece missing between us. That one piece needed to make me really, truly, feel something for him.
Sure, there’s attraction between us that is something I know to be certain. But after that there really is anything else. When I’m with Jax I don’t get the butterflies and the all-consuming sense of needed to be around him like I do with Dixon. With Jax he’s like this really good friend that I enjoy being around but that is it.
There’s no earth shattering, heart rocketing out into the universe, and body tingle from head to toe sensation consuming me when I’m with Jax—but that is everything I experience and then some when I’m with Dixon.
But I’m terrified of where things will go with Dixon. I’m one of the biggest risk takers you’ll ever meet but even I’m terrified to take that plunge and hand my heart over to Dixon. Because who’s to say he won’t smash the poor thing into a million tiny pieces? He’s already bruised and battered it enough over the last few months that I’m not sure how much more I can.
A small part of me thinks I should stick to the safe choice and choose Jax. At least I know he values my heart and cares about me to the point that he’d rather die the most painful death, rather than cause me any sort of pain. With Dixon, he’s a loose cannon. Sure, he swears now that he’s ready to change and give us a chance to see where things can go but who’s to say that he won’t have a change and decide being with one girl isn’t for him?
That’s why I’m feeling so much doubt about doing this with Jax right now. What if I choose Dixon, break Jax’s heart and then in turn get my heart broken? I will have let go of the one guy who could love me and do everything in his power to make me happy. After breaking his heart and leaving him for Dixon, I doubt he’d be there waiting for me after the dust settles.
I rub at my temples and let out a deep sigh. All of this thinking is making my fucking head hurt. Now I remember why I stuck to casual dating. This is all too much to deal with. If I don’t get my shit together it’s going to make my head literally explode. I fly back to Los Angeles in a few days to shoot the next week’s script. I need to be on top of my game. If I’m stressing over guy stuff, there’s no way I’ll be able to give it my best. I need to prove to them that I am
Jax rests his hand at the small of my back as he leads me in the direction of the bar. With every step we take I feel the all too familiar nervous knot forming in my stomach. It’s there every single time I think about talking to Jax. He is so damn sweet, the last thing I want to do is hurt him. With everything I’ve been through with Dixon and then Zak, he’s been my rock through it all without me ever having to ask him.
“I’m going to use the restroom. Be right back.” He whispers into my ear before pressing a soft kiss to my cheek. I feel a mixture of light flutters and sharp bee stings in the pit of my stomach.
“Okay.” Is all I say before bringing my attention back to the bartender who’s busy mixing a row of drinks.
I hate that I feel all these mixed feelings stirring inside of me. It’s like I have a tornado in my head. It’s pulling in every emotion that I’m feeling and shaking them up, tearing them apart and scattering them around my head. I find myself scurrying around frantically trying to collect the broken pieces and put them back together. But they’re alike but different at the same exact time that I can’t figure out how to fix any of them. So I find myself frustrated and confused as I try to decide where I go from here.
It’s why I panicked and chose Jax. Dixon messed with my emotions to the point that I threw myself at Jax just so I could try to forget him. But the entire time I’ve been with Jax I always feel like there’s a piece missing between us. That one piece needed to make me really, truly, feel something for him.
Sure, there’s attraction between us that is something I know to be certain. But after that there really is anything else. When I’m with Jax I don’t get the butterflies and the all-consuming sense of needed to be around him like I do with Dixon. With Jax he’s like this really good friend that I enjoy being around but that is it.
There’s no earth shattering, heart rocketing out into the universe, and body tingle from head to toe sensation consuming me when I’m with Jax—but that is everything I experience and then some when I’m with Dixon.
But I’m terrified of where things will go with Dixon. I’m one of the biggest risk takers you’ll ever meet but even I’m terrified to take that plunge and hand my heart over to Dixon. Because who’s to say he won’t smash the poor thing into a million tiny pieces? He’s already bruised and battered it enough over the last few months that I’m not sure how much more I can.
A small part of me thinks I should stick to the safe choice and choose Jax. At least I know he values my heart and cares about me to the point that he’d rather die the most painful death, rather than cause me any sort of pain. With Dixon, he’s a loose cannon. Sure, he swears now that he’s ready to change and give us a chance to see where things can go but who’s to say that he won’t have a change and decide being with one girl isn’t for him?
That’s why I’m feeling so much doubt about doing this with Jax right now. What if I choose Dixon, break Jax’s heart and then in turn get my heart broken? I will have let go of the one guy who could love me and do everything in his power to make me happy. After breaking his heart and leaving him for Dixon, I doubt he’d be there waiting for me after the dust settles.
I rub at my temples and let out a deep sigh. All of this thinking is making my fucking head hurt. Now I remember why I stuck to casual dating. This is all too much to deal with. If I don’t get my shit together it’s going to make my head literally explode. I fly back to Los Angeles in a few days to shoot the next week’s script. I need to be on top of my game. If I’m stressing over guy stuff, there’s no way I’ll be able to give it my best. I need to prove to them that I am
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