taken off balance by my simplest of questions, or perhaps more by the tone of an adult
talking to a small but adorable child, instead of one adult talking to another.
âSusie.â
âWell, Susie, itâs very nice to meet you. Youâve just moved in downstairs, havenât you?â
âYeah, a couple of weeks ago. It seems lovely here; everyoneâs really friendly and everything, not like where I used to live; my neighbors were just a nightmare, and Lynnâs ever so sweet to invite me to her party, andâ¦â
âYes, she is,â I cut in smoothly, almost able to taste the nervousness of her babbling. âI would quite like you to go and get me a drink, Susie. Vodka and soda, with fresh lime. Half-full with ice. Will you go and do that for me?â
Her eyes widened as if she was not quite sure if I really had just interrupted her and told her what to do. Well, asked her, really. Telling would come later.
âOhâ¦um, of course. Certainly. Iâll be right back.â
âGood girl,â I said with a smile, watching her cheeks flush as she scurried away, her little coat-hanger tail swaying from side to side. Oh, she was just too, too perfect. I had tried in the past to take the small-talk route, exchange pleasantries, discuss preferences. It usually worked out all right in the end, but it was just so terribly, tediously dull. It was much more fun to start off by knocking them sideways and see what happened, and besides, Iâd never been wrong yet. I always know when a nice girl wants to be bad for me.
A few moments later, she returned, my drink in one hand and hers in the other, an expectant smile on her face.
âThank you,â I said as I took it, making sure to look straight into her big brown eyes in a way I knew would make her squirm. She looked so beautiful like that. âI do like your costume, Susie. Did you make it yourself?â
âYes.â She looked a little embarrassed at having made her own costume, not realizing that was the very thing that made me want her even more, that innocence that just couldnât be bought.
âItâs very nice. Why havenât you got your paws on though?â I inquired, knowing full well why not.
âWell, theyâre just a bit tricky to do things with you see. Everyone was getting a bit fed up with me getting black fluff in the Doritos, so I just took them off!â She grinned shyly, tugging at the fuzzy paws. âThey were more for effect than for wearing, really.â
âWell, a real kitten wouldnât have the choice to take her paws off, would she?â I remarked, admiring the way this made her shift her weight from one foot to the other. âShe wouldnât be drinking from a glass, but from a little saucer on the floor, and curling up at her mistressâs feet like a good little kitty, having her ears stroked and her neck tickled. That is, if you were good. I think perhaps you should put them on, donât you?â
She stared at me, as if trying to decide if I was being serious or not. I could see all of the thoughts running through her head, wondering if I meant what she thought sheâd heard. I just waited.
âWellâ¦â she began slowly, âwill you hold my drink for me?â
Oh, that first victory always tasted the sweetest.
âOf course.â I took the glass from her, watching her awkwardly slip her hands inside the pink satin lining of the paws. She had certainly done a good job, to bother lining them at all. It made me wonder how much she enjoyed the thought of putting her hands inside there, feeling herself just that little bit immobilized, not being able to grip and hold and reach.
âCan I have my drink back now, please?â
It almost made me want to laugh, her trusting naïveté.
âI thought we established kitties donât drink from glasses, but from saucers?â
âDid we?â
âYes.â
She looked
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