Read Online Beowulf by Neil Gaiman - Free Book Online

armor, now dwarfed by the monster’s size, seem like small cans of ripped open tomato paste.
    Â 
    The monster can no longer take the haunting song of happiness inside his twisted brain. He scrambles for the exit to this tomb of song.
    Â 
    There is only one thing that can stop the noise inside his head. Murder. Murder of all things living and good. Murder of all things beautiful and proud.
    CUT TO:
    70 INT. HEROT - MEAD HALL - NIGHT
    70
    Beowulf, naked and laying on the floor, opens his eyes from his slumber. Almost as if he knows what’s coming.
    THANES
    (still singing their song in verse)
    The fattest of the Virgins, I knew her for a whore! I gave her all my codpiece, And still she wanted more!
    (chorus)
    Singing we are Beowulf’s army, we are mighty thanes, we’ll steal your cattle, and take your girls, then we’ll do it all over again…
    CUT TO:
    71 INT. THE GREAT CAVE - GRENDEL’S LAIR - CRAWLSPACE - NIGHT
    71
    Grendel squirms through the tight crawlspace, big enough for the shoulders of twenty men. The Thane’s song has Grendel in a shrieking frenzy. Anything to escape from the cave, where the warrior’s hymn echoes against the hard stone walls.
    CUT TO:
    72 INT. HEROT - NIGHT
    72
    Beowulf smiles. He knows what’s coming.
    THANES
    (continuing their song in verse)
    A virgin was from Norway, She cost me twenty groats! She showed me there was more ways, Than one to sow my oats!
    (chorus)
    Singing we are Beowulf’s army, we are mighty thanes, we’ll steal your cattle, and take your girls, then we’ll do it all over again…
    CUT TO:
    73 EXT. DARK FOREST - NIGHT
    73
    Grendel, in a frenzy of anger and hate is charging through the forest, knocking trees down in his tortured frenzy.
    CUT TO:
    74 INT. HEROT - MEAD HALL - NIGHT
    74
    CLOSE ON: Beowulf’s open eyes.
    THANES (O.S.)
    (singing in verse)
    There was a girl from Iceland, And she was mighty hot! She’d take a whole damn iceberg, To cool her burning tw--
    The Thanes’ song is suddenly interrupted by a BANGING on the heavy wooden door.
    OLAF
    That’ll be Grendel now! Ooh! It’s fucking Grendel!
    The Thanes LAUGH raucously at Olaf’s witticism.
    Â 
    Hondshew jumps from the table and turns to the other Thanes as he walks backwards toward the hallway that leads to the door.
    HONDSHEW
    It’s Yrsa, my sweet plum! She’s changed her mind and is ready to allow me to taste her ripe and juicy fruit!
    The Thanes LAUGH LOUDLY. Hondshew, drunk as a particularly drunk drunkard, stumbles down
    THE HALLWAY
    to the large main double doors to open them up.
    HROTHGAR
    Patience, my lovely! Give a Thane a chance to open the door and invite you…
    He swings the door open only to find Grendel, looking quite large and hideous.
    HONDSHEW
    (continuing, but a tad more sober)
    â€¦in.
    Grendel SNARLS a sort of hideous laugh.
    75 INT. HEROT - MEAD HALL - NIGHT
    75
    The other Thanes are waiting for Hondshew to come in carrying the fair woman.
    THANE
    Save some for us, Hondshew! We’ve got pricks that need a waxin’, as well!
    Suddenly Hondshew’s bloodied and ripped up corpse is thrown from the hallway and into the great hall. It flops on top of a long table like a rag doll whose joints allow his limbs to move in any direction.
    THANE
    Hondshew?
    But Hondshew is clearly dead as a doorknob.
    Â 
    And at that moment, in the flickering golden light of the fireplace, Grendel comes from out of the hallway, his SNARL is preceded by a horrific gaping grin that shows off his yellow canines. His sick skin glistens a wet shade of greenish gold, but appears to be scarred and nicked from scratching at himself nervously. His talons are simply broken nails as hard as marble, sharpened by scraping at the earthen soil of his cavernous lair. Simply put, Grendel is one scary motherfucker.
    FREAKED-OUT THANE
    Fucking fuck! It’s the monster! Get yourselves awake!
    The freaked-out Thane kicks one of his