Read Online Bennett (Bourbon & Blood #1) by Seraphina Donavan - Free Book Online
Authors: Seraphina Donavan
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I know her. The name is very familiar. If her personality clicks, I ’ ll probably hire her immediately. I don ’ t have a lot of time to spare. Annalee has been incredibly helpful, but it can ’ t be easy on her … or you. ”
“ Annalee and I have an understanding, ” he said. “ We ’ re good. ”
“ It hurts, doesn ’ t it? ”
“ Yes. But so do lots of things. It won ’ t kill me. ”
Mia looked at her brother, really looked at him. He was working himself to the bone, and it wasn ’ t just the distillery. Clayton always played things close to the vest and she knew there was more going on. “ What ’ s really going on in your head, Clay? If you ’ d tell me, I ’ d help you. ”
“ I can ’ t. It ’ s not that I don ’ t want to or that I don ’ t trust you … I don ’ t know what I ’ m looking for yet, Mia, but when I find it, it will change everything. ”
“ This is about Samuel, isn ’ t it? ”
Clayton sighed. “ I ’ ve got to find a way to get his hands out of the pot, Mia. If we don ’ t, we ’ re always going to be struggling to keep the business afloat. ”
“ And Annalee … does she know? ” Mia asked.
“ Yes. Of course, ” he said sarcastically. “ Why on earth would I put this ugliness on her, after everything else? ”
Mia shook her head. “ Lord, you are dumb … I love you so much, Clay, but sometimes I forget that you are a man and prone to masculine idiocy. She loves you! Still. And you ’ re pissing it away! ”
Staring out the window of her office that overlooked the storehouse where every precious barrel was aging and waiting its turn, he said, “ The distillery, the constant fighting with Samuel for control, of trying to curb his insane spending … it took a toll. She wanted things I couldn ’ t give her. ”
Wouldn ’ t. The word was in her mind, but she didn ’ t utter it. Clayton, under his typically mild mannered exterior, could be as proud and stubborn as the rest of them. “ I ’ m sorry. ”
“ What about you and Hayes? He ’ s still got it bad for you. And it ’ s pretty clear you ’ re in the same boat … This — hiring someone to help with Mama — Mia, this is your chance to live a little. ”
Her heart literally skipped a beat at the thought. But she quickly squashed that little flare of hope. There were things Clayton didn ’ t know, and she could never tell him. If she did, it would tear the whole family apart. “ You ’ re not suggesting that I attempt to rekindle my relationship with Bennett? Do I need to tell you how much of a disaster that would be? ”
“ I didn ’ t say you had to walk down Main Street holding his hand. You ’ re a goddamn adult, Mia. ”
“ My big brother is encouraging me to have a scandalous affair … As if our father isn ’ t bad enough, you ’ ve got to bring this Jerry Springer moment to my door? ” she hedged.
“ I ’ m just putting it out there. Live your life. Be as discreet or indiscreet about it as you choose. Self-denial is cold comfort. ” Clayton rose and turned toward the door, but paused to look back at her. “ If you could have anything you wanted, Mia, what would it be? ”
Bennett. She didn ’ t say it. She didn ’ t have to. If the world were different, if her life was something other than what it was, they ’ d be married, maybe even have babies. That thought cut like a knife and she pushed it back, locked it down like she always did. “ I can ’ t. So there ’ s no point thinking about it. ”
“ Take a risk, Mia. Before it ’ s too late, take a damn risk. ”
When he ’ d gone, Mia sank back in her chair, the weight of everything pressing in on her. The car crash, whoever had been following her through the woods, Erica ’ s scheming to get into Samuel ’ s good graces, Samuel ’ s clear loss of interest in Erica, Clayton's assertion that Samuel had now thrown over the former beauty queen for another, caring for her mother, Clayton ’ s pending
“ Annalee and I have an understanding, ” he said. “ We ’ re good. ”
“ It hurts, doesn ’ t it? ”
“ Yes. But so do lots of things. It won ’ t kill me. ”
Mia looked at her brother, really looked at him. He was working himself to the bone, and it wasn ’ t just the distillery. Clayton always played things close to the vest and she knew there was more going on. “ What ’ s really going on in your head, Clay? If you ’ d tell me, I ’ d help you. ”
“ I can ’ t. It ’ s not that I don ’ t want to or that I don ’ t trust you … I don ’ t know what I ’ m looking for yet, Mia, but when I find it, it will change everything. ”
“ This is about Samuel, isn ’ t it? ”
Clayton sighed. “ I ’ ve got to find a way to get his hands out of the pot, Mia. If we don ’ t, we ’ re always going to be struggling to keep the business afloat. ”
“ And Annalee … does she know? ” Mia asked.
“ Yes. Of course, ” he said sarcastically. “ Why on earth would I put this ugliness on her, after everything else? ”
Mia shook her head. “ Lord, you are dumb … I love you so much, Clay, but sometimes I forget that you are a man and prone to masculine idiocy. She loves you! Still. And you ’ re pissing it away! ”
Staring out the window of her office that overlooked the storehouse where every precious barrel was aging and waiting its turn, he said, “ The distillery, the constant fighting with Samuel for control, of trying to curb his insane spending … it took a toll. She wanted things I couldn ’ t give her. ”
Wouldn ’ t. The word was in her mind, but she didn ’ t utter it. Clayton, under his typically mild mannered exterior, could be as proud and stubborn as the rest of them. “ I ’ m sorry. ”
“ What about you and Hayes? He ’ s still got it bad for you. And it ’ s pretty clear you ’ re in the same boat … This — hiring someone to help with Mama — Mia, this is your chance to live a little. ”
Her heart literally skipped a beat at the thought. But she quickly squashed that little flare of hope. There were things Clayton didn ’ t know, and she could never tell him. If she did, it would tear the whole family apart. “ You ’ re not suggesting that I attempt to rekindle my relationship with Bennett? Do I need to tell you how much of a disaster that would be? ”
“ I didn ’ t say you had to walk down Main Street holding his hand. You ’ re a goddamn adult, Mia. ”
“ My big brother is encouraging me to have a scandalous affair … As if our father isn ’ t bad enough, you ’ ve got to bring this Jerry Springer moment to my door? ” she hedged.
“ I ’ m just putting it out there. Live your life. Be as discreet or indiscreet about it as you choose. Self-denial is cold comfort. ” Clayton rose and turned toward the door, but paused to look back at her. “ If you could have anything you wanted, Mia, what would it be? ”
Bennett. She didn ’ t say it. She didn ’ t have to. If the world were different, if her life was something other than what it was, they ’ d be married, maybe even have babies. That thought cut like a knife and she pushed it back, locked it down like she always did. “ I can ’ t. So there ’ s no point thinking about it. ”
“ Take a risk, Mia. Before it ’ s too late, take a damn risk. ”
When he ’ d gone, Mia sank back in her chair, the weight of everything pressing in on her. The car crash, whoever had been following her through the woods, Erica ’ s scheming to get into Samuel ’ s good graces, Samuel ’ s clear loss of interest in Erica, Clayton's assertion that Samuel had now thrown over the former beauty queen for another, caring for her mother, Clayton ’ s pending
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