Read Online Bellona (Part 1.5 of The Saskia Trilogy) by Aoife Marie Sheridan - Free Book Online Page B

once I am kept safe it doesn’t matter. As darkness comes I finally leave my room and find myself outside my mother’s chambers. I’m not sure what has led me here, but I push open the door without thinking too much about it, and am greeted with an empty room. Closing the door gently behind me, I move towards the book shelf and hesitate. I had sworn to myself that I would be good, for Nierra, as my father’s room was filled with darkness. No matter how much I try to reason with myself I soon move swiftly down the circular stone steps. Straight away I feel an odd sense of belonging in my father’s secret room. I start to read the old books that my father has left lying around, one incarnation I read several times. I feel giddy thinking about using it. But I remember my vow not to harm. I place the amulet neatly between my breasts, just letting it rest there, I am not going to use it I just want to see what will happen. It comes alive, swirling. I wonder if my father makes it come alive, or is it because of my affinity. Now I kneel in front of the altar, my mind wandering to my fantasy of Nierra and me. I smile, thinking of him, my hand moves to my lips. I can feel a blush rise in my cheeks, as my other hand slowly lifts my dress up, my fingers touching my womanly parts. A sensation starts deep in my belly, running up my spine. It feels like nothing I have experienced before. I release a soft moan.
    “You are disgusting.”
    I squeal and pull my hand away, my face blazing red now as I look at my mother.
    “What are you doing down here?”
    “I could ask you the same thing, but I can see what you do down here. It is repulsive.” She smiles then, but no warmth enters her eyes. “Nierra would never touch you like that. You are ugly so it’s understandable that you would do it to yourself.” She takes a step closer. “I see the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching...” she trails off and my heart slams painfully against my chest.
    “What way does he look at me?” I whisper, afraid of hearing it, but needing to hear it.
    “The same way everyone looks at you, Bellona, with hate.”
    I stand up, but my legs tremble. “You are a liar.”
    Her eyes widen “What did you just say?”
    “Nierra loves me,” I sound unsure even to my own ears, my mother throws her head back and laughs, tears burn my eyes.
    “Why do you hate me?” It is the first time in my life I have asked this question. It isn’t courage that makes me ask, its exhaustion. My mother’s mouth opens and closes, she doesn’t know how to answer me.
    “You are disgusting, ugly and hated by all.” Her loud words bounce around the room.
    “I just want a mother who will love me.” I pause as tears roll down my face. “Maybe hug me when I am upset.” Then I give a sad smile through my tears. “Or squeeze my shoulder when I need comfort.”
    “Don’t be ridiculous. Now you want to be treated like a child. Fine, Bellona, I will.”
    Anger burns in my veins, pumping my blood fast through my body and her spirit lights up. Tainted, rotten to the core. Why won’t she just listen? “You are a spiteful bitter old woman, who has no one. Your husband can’t stomach you, that’s why he drinks. You only have me to bully. But it ends now. It ends today!” I roar, releasing all my anger and her body slams into the ground.
    She is dragged by an invisible force, my anger, until she lies at the foot of the altar. My heart pounds and I feel excitement and delight when she looks up at me with fear shining in her eyes, blood runs down the side of her face. I don’t ponder but grab the dagger slicing my hand and start the incantation that I have learned off by heart from my father’s book. Her body thrashes along the floor but she can’t get up. She keeps spewing her poison but it soon turns to pleas for me to stop as the demons arrive. I freeze for a moment, fear rooting me to the spot, but I push past my fear and continue.
    “Bellona, please,