Read Online Bellissimo Lotta (Beautiful Struggle): Companion Novel to Bellissimo Fortuna (The Family Trilogy Book 2) by Leigh Ann Lunsford - Free Book Online
Authors: Leigh Ann Lunsford
Tags: General Fiction
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you ignore it, you push it all down, and one day it’s going to erupt. Don’t let it make you bitter. You’re better than that.”
I want to snap back with a witty retort, but I bite my tongue. His advice is coming from a pure place. “Okay. I’ll do it soon.”
“Did I just win an argument with Bianca Rose Agosto?”
“Do you want to get laid tonight?”
“When you put it so eloquently . . . hell yes.”
“Then shut up. Put your mouth to use. Make me scream. And not in anger.” He smiles at me, shaking his head while pulling me on his lap.
“Sit right here and let’s talk about the first thing that comes up.”
“You’re so cheesy.”
“And you love it.” I freeze. He had to ruin this moment with that word. He feels the shift in the air and backpedals, “Not that you love me, but you love my cheesiness. My ability to make you scream and beg.”
I move off his lap, needing space. “I do,” I say to appease him. Every part of me is tense; I’m physically holding back the words he wants to hear, the words I want to say, and the words that will change us.
Forever.
The words that will ruin us if I speak them aloud.
I love you.
Fucking eight letters.
Three words.
One meaning.
They make me tremor in fear.
“Come back to me.” His stare penetrates me. This is one time I don’t want him to see me. He doesn’t relent; his brown eyes speak a thousand words. The gold flecks are prominent with the spark of hope, and he’s ripping me in two without uttering a word. My heart hammers against my chest, yet he washes calm over me, begging me to say what he wants to hear. The space separating feels non-existent, what started as a no-strings friendship is morphing into something that petrifies me, yet he makes me want to grab onto what’s in front of me and hold tight. An entire conversation is spoken with no words, and when I blink, I break the spell. “Damn,” he whispers, and I know I’ve shattered his hope and splintered my heart. “One day, Bianca. One fucking day you will say it.”
I don’t respond. Don’t move a muscle. The rest of the ride is filled with anxiety and silence. I’m at a loss for words, and that is rare. I want to soothe his hurt, I want to make myself vulnerable and tell the truth, but the lies are easier. No risk. I let my mask fall back into place, compartmentalize my emotions, and Bianca Agosto emerges from the limo ready for a fun-filled night. “Oh, did I mention my birth control is in effect, so no condoms for you?” I wink at his shocked expression and hope that is enough of a Band-Aid to salvage this night.
He grabs my arm, pulling me back towards him, “You never cease to amaze me.”
“You can thank me later. Multiple times.”
“I can guarantee it, baby.” He captures my mouth in a scorching kiss that leaves me panting when he pulls away.
“Oh, and you notice the no panty lines in this dress? That’s because I’m commando.”
“One hour, Bianca. That’s the amount of time you have to smile, play nice, socialize. One damn hour.”
“But, I want to dance.”
“We’ll dance.” His gaze is molten, and my stomach rolls and jumps with anticipation.
“If you insist.”
“I do. And you’re going to insist I shove my dick so hard in you that you’ll feel me next week.” I think I did more than salvage this night.
We walk hand in hand inside the room, and I realize that the next milestone we face will be graduation. He leaves soon after. He and Bronson are going to FSU for the year, followed by DEA training. What does that mean? Is our arrangement over when he’s gone? I’m so stupid for starting something I have no desire to end, and no idea how to continue.
I smile for our pictures, chat with our friends, watch Bronson and Callie fall more in love, and try desperately to find the place inside myself that will tell me every choice I’m making isn’t a monumental mistake. Nothing is shaking this feeling that I’ll ruin everything, yet
I want to snap back with a witty retort, but I bite my tongue. His advice is coming from a pure place. “Okay. I’ll do it soon.”
“Did I just win an argument with Bianca Rose Agosto?”
“Do you want to get laid tonight?”
“When you put it so eloquently . . . hell yes.”
“Then shut up. Put your mouth to use. Make me scream. And not in anger.” He smiles at me, shaking his head while pulling me on his lap.
“Sit right here and let’s talk about the first thing that comes up.”
“You’re so cheesy.”
“And you love it.” I freeze. He had to ruin this moment with that word. He feels the shift in the air and backpedals, “Not that you love me, but you love my cheesiness. My ability to make you scream and beg.”
I move off his lap, needing space. “I do,” I say to appease him. Every part of me is tense; I’m physically holding back the words he wants to hear, the words I want to say, and the words that will change us.
Forever.
The words that will ruin us if I speak them aloud.
I love you.
Fucking eight letters.
Three words.
One meaning.
They make me tremor in fear.
“Come back to me.” His stare penetrates me. This is one time I don’t want him to see me. He doesn’t relent; his brown eyes speak a thousand words. The gold flecks are prominent with the spark of hope, and he’s ripping me in two without uttering a word. My heart hammers against my chest, yet he washes calm over me, begging me to say what he wants to hear. The space separating feels non-existent, what started as a no-strings friendship is morphing into something that petrifies me, yet he makes me want to grab onto what’s in front of me and hold tight. An entire conversation is spoken with no words, and when I blink, I break the spell. “Damn,” he whispers, and I know I’ve shattered his hope and splintered my heart. “One day, Bianca. One fucking day you will say it.”
I don’t respond. Don’t move a muscle. The rest of the ride is filled with anxiety and silence. I’m at a loss for words, and that is rare. I want to soothe his hurt, I want to make myself vulnerable and tell the truth, but the lies are easier. No risk. I let my mask fall back into place, compartmentalize my emotions, and Bianca Agosto emerges from the limo ready for a fun-filled night. “Oh, did I mention my birth control is in effect, so no condoms for you?” I wink at his shocked expression and hope that is enough of a Band-Aid to salvage this night.
He grabs my arm, pulling me back towards him, “You never cease to amaze me.”
“You can thank me later. Multiple times.”
“I can guarantee it, baby.” He captures my mouth in a scorching kiss that leaves me panting when he pulls away.
“Oh, and you notice the no panty lines in this dress? That’s because I’m commando.”
“One hour, Bianca. That’s the amount of time you have to smile, play nice, socialize. One damn hour.”
“But, I want to dance.”
“We’ll dance.” His gaze is molten, and my stomach rolls and jumps with anticipation.
“If you insist.”
“I do. And you’re going to insist I shove my dick so hard in you that you’ll feel me next week.” I think I did more than salvage this night.
We walk hand in hand inside the room, and I realize that the next milestone we face will be graduation. He leaves soon after. He and Bronson are going to FSU for the year, followed by DEA training. What does that mean? Is our arrangement over when he’s gone? I’m so stupid for starting something I have no desire to end, and no idea how to continue.
I smile for our pictures, chat with our friends, watch Bronson and Callie fall more in love, and try desperately to find the place inside myself that will tell me every choice I’m making isn’t a monumental mistake. Nothing is shaking this feeling that I’ll ruin everything, yet
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