might want
to spend it with you? You’ve been on like two dates, and he’s taking you out
for your birthday?”
Everyone turned to look at Colin,
surprised by his outburst, then looked at me for my response.
“He doesn’t even know it’s my
birthday. It’s just a movie. I figured we could celebrate my birthday over the
weekend.” I answered him slowly, not sure what to make of his outburst.
“Fine. Whatever.” He said, looking
back at the movie.
“What do you mean, ‘Fine.
Whatever?’ Am I not allowed to make plans without checking with you first?” Now
I was getting pissed.
Drew started to say something, but
Colin cut him off. “Did I say that? All I was trying to say is that it’s a
little surprising that you barely know this guy, yet you’re hanging out with
him on your birthday instead of your friends.”
It was Liz’s turn to try to smooth
things over. “I don’t think that’s what Lucy was thinking, she was probably...”
And my turn to interrupt. “You can
learn a lot about a person by hanging out with them twice. Take you!” I yell at
Colin. “By the third time I met you I knew you were a complete…” I paused,
grasping for the right word. ‘Douche Canoe!” I finished, and then nodded at
Annie to thank her for the word.
“Oh like the guy you’re going on a
date with is so much better. The best ones are always guys who hang out at
bars. Let me guess, he’s the guy with the jeans falling so far down you can see
his Tasmanian Devil boxers. Or wait no, the guy who couldn’t keep his hands off
your ass the whole song, even though you kept pushing him away.”
The room became silent, minus the
movie quietly playing in the background, long since forgotten.
“How did you know about the guys
at the bar? Were you there ?” I asked.
“Uh, no. I just know the type.”
“ Jeans falling so far down you can see his Tasmanian Devil boxers ?
That’s not a type, that’s a description you give a sketch artist. Why the hell
were you there?”
Colin glanced at Drew, unsure of
what to say, which caused Drew to speak up. “He came with me. I wanted to go.”
“What? Why? Liz asked, surprised.
“I wanted to see what you were
doing. I was...worried.”
“Worried? About what? That I was
going to trip while dancing, and need you to call 911?”
“No of course not, I just...”
“Wait.” Liz interrupted. We didn’t
see you guys there. “Were you hiding? Why didn’t you just come over to us?”
Drew let out a breath, but didn’t
speak.
“You were spying on us?” I asked.
“We were just checking in. We
didn’t want to interrupt.” Colin was acting like it was no big deal, which was
only adding fuel to the fire.
“What is wrong with you two?”
Liz’s voice was getting louder by the second. “We are amazing. We are the kind of girls who you should be telling your
moms about. Drew says we are ‘dating’ but won’t call me his girlfriend. Colin
won’t even acknowledge that he is practically in love with Lucy. You just want
us to hang around, helping Colin get above 150 pounds, waiting for the two of
you to stop being dumbasses. So what do you do? You follow us to our girls
night out, spy on us like you want to
make sure we’re not going to meet some other guys, then never do anything about
it.” Liz threw her arms up in defeat.
“We just wanted to make sure you
guys were safe!” Drew practically yelled in the attempt to get us to see their
side.
“Don’t worry guys. If someone
tries to snag our purses, we can save them ourselves. We don’t need a couple of
wannabe superheroes to lurk in the corners of bars in case we need them.” I was
getting tired of this whole conversation, and I didn’t think I could hear
another word about them needing to protect us.
“You know what? Just go home.” I
stated matter-of-factly.
“Lucy--” Colin started, but I
stopped him.
“No. You don’t want me. But you
get mad at me when someone else dates me. Drew acts
to spend it with you? You’ve been on like two dates, and he’s taking you out
for your birthday?”
Everyone turned to look at Colin,
surprised by his outburst, then looked at me for my response.
“He doesn’t even know it’s my
birthday. It’s just a movie. I figured we could celebrate my birthday over the
weekend.” I answered him slowly, not sure what to make of his outburst.
“Fine. Whatever.” He said, looking
back at the movie.
“What do you mean, ‘Fine.
Whatever?’ Am I not allowed to make plans without checking with you first?” Now
I was getting pissed.
Drew started to say something, but
Colin cut him off. “Did I say that? All I was trying to say is that it’s a
little surprising that you barely know this guy, yet you’re hanging out with
him on your birthday instead of your friends.”
It was Liz’s turn to try to smooth
things over. “I don’t think that’s what Lucy was thinking, she was probably...”
And my turn to interrupt. “You can
learn a lot about a person by hanging out with them twice. Take you!” I yell at
Colin. “By the third time I met you I knew you were a complete…” I paused,
grasping for the right word. ‘Douche Canoe!” I finished, and then nodded at
Annie to thank her for the word.
“Oh like the guy you’re going on a
date with is so much better. The best ones are always guys who hang out at
bars. Let me guess, he’s the guy with the jeans falling so far down you can see
his Tasmanian Devil boxers. Or wait no, the guy who couldn’t keep his hands off
your ass the whole song, even though you kept pushing him away.”
The room became silent, minus the
movie quietly playing in the background, long since forgotten.
“How did you know about the guys
at the bar? Were you there ?” I asked.
“Uh, no. I just know the type.”
“ Jeans falling so far down you can see his Tasmanian Devil boxers ?
That’s not a type, that’s a description you give a sketch artist. Why the hell
were you there?”
Colin glanced at Drew, unsure of
what to say, which caused Drew to speak up. “He came with me. I wanted to go.”
“What? Why? Liz asked, surprised.
“I wanted to see what you were
doing. I was...worried.”
“Worried? About what? That I was
going to trip while dancing, and need you to call 911?”
“No of course not, I just...”
“Wait.” Liz interrupted. We didn’t
see you guys there. “Were you hiding? Why didn’t you just come over to us?”
Drew let out a breath, but didn’t
speak.
“You were spying on us?” I asked.
“We were just checking in. We
didn’t want to interrupt.” Colin was acting like it was no big deal, which was
only adding fuel to the fire.
“What is wrong with you two?”
Liz’s voice was getting louder by the second. “We are amazing. We are the kind of girls who you should be telling your
moms about. Drew says we are ‘dating’ but won’t call me his girlfriend. Colin
won’t even acknowledge that he is practically in love with Lucy. You just want
us to hang around, helping Colin get above 150 pounds, waiting for the two of
you to stop being dumbasses. So what do you do? You follow us to our girls
night out, spy on us like you want to
make sure we’re not going to meet some other guys, then never do anything about
it.” Liz threw her arms up in defeat.
“We just wanted to make sure you
guys were safe!” Drew practically yelled in the attempt to get us to see their
side.
“Don’t worry guys. If someone
tries to snag our purses, we can save them ourselves. We don’t need a couple of
wannabe superheroes to lurk in the corners of bars in case we need them.” I was
getting tired of this whole conversation, and I didn’t think I could hear
another word about them needing to protect us.
“You know what? Just go home.” I
stated matter-of-factly.
“Lucy--” Colin started, but I
stopped him.
“No. You don’t want me. But you
get mad at me when someone else dates me. Drew acts
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