Read Online Before I Wake by Robert J. Wiersema - Free Book Online
Authors: Robert J. Wiersema
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and rotting seaweed.
I walked the concrete path toward the cliffâs edge with my hands in my pockets, shivering but focused on the lights of Port Angeles across the strait. There were a few other people out, bundled against the cold, but I brushed past them and nobody seemed to notice me.
We used to bring the kids here for the afternoon to play catch on the lawn. Arlene always warned them away from the drop down to the rocks and the beach below. The boys and I would tease herâsee how close we could get to the edge before sheâd yell at us. Then weâd take one of the narrow paths down to the beach and walk along the water. Connor would shriek when his legs got drenched by a wave, and we would all laugh.
I would never be able to tell Connor what I had done. How do you tell your son that his father is a murderer, that he had killed a little girl the very same age as him?
How could I ever look Dylan in the eye?
And Arlene.
When I reached the end of the sidewalk, I stood facing the black water at the edge of the grass. The beacon down the shore turned and flashed, but the light was cold and far away. The surf boomed against the rocks and sand.
I didnât deserve to have a familyânot when I had stolen one away.
I didnât deserve a normal life.
The lights across the strait shimmered orange on the dark water. I stood on the edge of the world, in the black and the cold, and even the stars seemed to have gone out.
I had been trying to get home as fast as I could after my shift.
I had only looked away for a moment, but that was enough. When I turned back I saw her fly into the air. I didnât even have time to touch the brakes.
I killed that little girl. Sherry. She would never wake up. She would always be with me.
Iâm sorry, I said to her. It was a mistake. I didnât mean toâ¦
A gust of wind buffeted me, and I nearly lost my footing on the edge of the cliff. My heart raced with the fear of falling.
It was so ridiculous I almost laughed.
I couldnât think of anything else to do, anywhere else to turn. And if I was going to do it, it was important to do it right,to hit the rocks headfirst, to end it quickly. Not to struggle as the water dragged me away from the shore. What a coward, worrying about suffering while that little girl was dying.
Drawing a breath, I raised my arms above my head. Leaning over, I bent my kneesâ
Iâm sorry, Arlene.
âand pushed off into the night sky.
I love you, Dylan.
My feet left the ground.
I love you, Connor.
I angled down, headfirst, toward the surf and rocks below me.
Iâm sorry, Sherry.
The black water looked like asphalt after rain.
Iâm sorryâ¦
Without warning, I was wrenched backward. The wind caught in my shirt, my hair. It felt as if a hand had grasped my shoulder and pulled me back toward the cliff. I landed heavily on my side on the wet grass. The force of the impact left me breathless, and I struggled to sit up.
âWhat the hellâ¦?â
The beacon light flashed, and the shadows of the trees danced in the wind, but there was no one else there. No one else who could have pulled me to safety.
I was completely alone.
But I could feel the pressure of the hand, of the fingers, on my shoulder. By morning Iâd be bruised, the handprint clearly visible on my pale skin.
SIMON
Dr. McKinley summoned a night nurse from the station down the corridor to witness Sherryâs death. Once she was in the room, he closed the door. The sound of the medical equipment was overwhelming.
âMr. Barrett, could you please make your request one more time?â
I cleared my throat. âKnowing that the damage to herâ¦Knowing that there is no chance that my daughter will ever wake up, I would like you to remove her from the life support equipment.â
The doctor glanced at the nurse to make sure that she had heard. When she nodded, he turned to Karen. âMrs. Barrett?â
She had moved to
I walked the concrete path toward the cliffâs edge with my hands in my pockets, shivering but focused on the lights of Port Angeles across the strait. There were a few other people out, bundled against the cold, but I brushed past them and nobody seemed to notice me.
We used to bring the kids here for the afternoon to play catch on the lawn. Arlene always warned them away from the drop down to the rocks and the beach below. The boys and I would tease herâsee how close we could get to the edge before sheâd yell at us. Then weâd take one of the narrow paths down to the beach and walk along the water. Connor would shriek when his legs got drenched by a wave, and we would all laugh.
I would never be able to tell Connor what I had done. How do you tell your son that his father is a murderer, that he had killed a little girl the very same age as him?
How could I ever look Dylan in the eye?
And Arlene.
When I reached the end of the sidewalk, I stood facing the black water at the edge of the grass. The beacon down the shore turned and flashed, but the light was cold and far away. The surf boomed against the rocks and sand.
I didnât deserve to have a familyânot when I had stolen one away.
I didnât deserve a normal life.
The lights across the strait shimmered orange on the dark water. I stood on the edge of the world, in the black and the cold, and even the stars seemed to have gone out.
I had been trying to get home as fast as I could after my shift.
I had only looked away for a moment, but that was enough. When I turned back I saw her fly into the air. I didnât even have time to touch the brakes.
I killed that little girl. Sherry. She would never wake up. She would always be with me.
Iâm sorry, I said to her. It was a mistake. I didnât mean toâ¦
A gust of wind buffeted me, and I nearly lost my footing on the edge of the cliff. My heart raced with the fear of falling.
It was so ridiculous I almost laughed.
I couldnât think of anything else to do, anywhere else to turn. And if I was going to do it, it was important to do it right,to hit the rocks headfirst, to end it quickly. Not to struggle as the water dragged me away from the shore. What a coward, worrying about suffering while that little girl was dying.
Drawing a breath, I raised my arms above my head. Leaning over, I bent my kneesâ
Iâm sorry, Arlene.
âand pushed off into the night sky.
I love you, Dylan.
My feet left the ground.
I love you, Connor.
I angled down, headfirst, toward the surf and rocks below me.
Iâm sorry, Sherry.
The black water looked like asphalt after rain.
Iâm sorryâ¦
Without warning, I was wrenched backward. The wind caught in my shirt, my hair. It felt as if a hand had grasped my shoulder and pulled me back toward the cliff. I landed heavily on my side on the wet grass. The force of the impact left me breathless, and I struggled to sit up.
âWhat the hellâ¦?â
The beacon light flashed, and the shadows of the trees danced in the wind, but there was no one else there. No one else who could have pulled me to safety.
I was completely alone.
But I could feel the pressure of the hand, of the fingers, on my shoulder. By morning Iâd be bruised, the handprint clearly visible on my pale skin.
SIMON
Dr. McKinley summoned a night nurse from the station down the corridor to witness Sherryâs death. Once she was in the room, he closed the door. The sound of the medical equipment was overwhelming.
âMr. Barrett, could you please make your request one more time?â
I cleared my throat. âKnowing that the damage to herâ¦Knowing that there is no chance that my daughter will ever wake up, I would like you to remove her from the life support equipment.â
The doctor glanced at the nurse to make sure that she had heard. When she nodded, he turned to Karen. âMrs. Barrett?â
She had moved to
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