Read Online Becoming Your Spouse's Better Half by Rick A Johnson - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Rick A Johnson
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that this can be exhausting, and there’s nothing more enjoyable than getting back to camp and relaxing while reliving the thrill of the hunt.
Men today, while they seldom are required to hunt in the literal sense, are required to go out and stalk provisions for their family. The emotional and psychological stress of knowing that people depend on them to provide for all their material needs can be a big weight for men to bear. Especially for many men who do not like what they do for a living, it can be terribly draining.
Most men accept this burden with minimal complaining and grousing. But they are challenged mightily every day in a variety of ways in the workplace. There are significant daily challenges to a guy’s manhood. These might come from a boss who exerts power over him, from an important customer who is unreasonable but to whom he must kowtow in order to keep his job, or from co-workers who manipulate or use him in order to further their own career. Corporate politics and the wide array of personality types he is forced to deal with can be very challenging.
These trials and confrontations are exhausting to his psyche. The constant barrage of psychological challenges he is required to deal with through cunning and interpersonal communication skills attacks his weaknesses. If he could deal with these challenges in a physical manner, that would be playing into his strengths and would not be quite so debilitating. A man feels beaten down by these types of conflicts and altercations.
Also, the workload and expectations of today’s jobs can just plain overload a guy’s mental framework. It’s like being in the boxing ring with Ray “Boom Boom” Mancini—the punches never stop, and they come at you from every angle.
Lazy or Just Different?
A lot of women I’ve spoken with over the years harbor a variety of complaints against their husbands. Perhaps one of the most frequent complaints I hear is that they feel their husbands are lazy, that they do not pull their share of the load around the house. They say their husbands are reluctant to perform chores around the house or tackle new projects.
While there may be some validity to these criticisms, I think many of these complaints are unfounded from the standpoint that women look at these issues in a different light than men. For instance, oftentimes when a woman complains that her husband is lazy, it’s not so much that he is actually lazy as he just doesn’t do things in the order or time frame that she would.
There is a difference between taking some down time and being just plain lazy. If a man is fulfilling his responsibilities as a provider and doing his share of the load around the house, then taking some time off is healthy. If he doesn’t have a job and just lies around all day, he’s probably lazy. I’ve seen some women who rag their husbands continuously with “honey-do” projects around the house. They trail around behind their husbands, nipping at their heels to make sure they get the job done right. The poor guys have that slightly hysterical look about them, like horses that have been ridden hard and put away wet.
Recharge
Regardless of the circumstances, men need down time to recharge their batteries. This is not even so much physical down time as it is emotional and psychological down time. They need to regroup and ready themselves for the next day or week’s challenges.
One man told me, “There were times when I was a truck driver that I didn’t want to do anything at the end of a grueling week. I was tired from three hours of sleep each night and going all day long. I just needed to do nothing so my body could rest and my mind could clear. I think it was mostly a mind issue. It had been busy all day every day, and I just needed some quiet time.”
The truth is most men get beat up in a variety of ways through their jobs. Maybe they have a boss that berates them or is unappreciative of their efforts, or perhaps their job
Men today, while they seldom are required to hunt in the literal sense, are required to go out and stalk provisions for their family. The emotional and psychological stress of knowing that people depend on them to provide for all their material needs can be a big weight for men to bear. Especially for many men who do not like what they do for a living, it can be terribly draining.
Most men accept this burden with minimal complaining and grousing. But they are challenged mightily every day in a variety of ways in the workplace. There are significant daily challenges to a guy’s manhood. These might come from a boss who exerts power over him, from an important customer who is unreasonable but to whom he must kowtow in order to keep his job, or from co-workers who manipulate or use him in order to further their own career. Corporate politics and the wide array of personality types he is forced to deal with can be very challenging.
These trials and confrontations are exhausting to his psyche. The constant barrage of psychological challenges he is required to deal with through cunning and interpersonal communication skills attacks his weaknesses. If he could deal with these challenges in a physical manner, that would be playing into his strengths and would not be quite so debilitating. A man feels beaten down by these types of conflicts and altercations.
Also, the workload and expectations of today’s jobs can just plain overload a guy’s mental framework. It’s like being in the boxing ring with Ray “Boom Boom” Mancini—the punches never stop, and they come at you from every angle.
Lazy or Just Different?
A lot of women I’ve spoken with over the years harbor a variety of complaints against their husbands. Perhaps one of the most frequent complaints I hear is that they feel their husbands are lazy, that they do not pull their share of the load around the house. They say their husbands are reluctant to perform chores around the house or tackle new projects.
While there may be some validity to these criticisms, I think many of these complaints are unfounded from the standpoint that women look at these issues in a different light than men. For instance, oftentimes when a woman complains that her husband is lazy, it’s not so much that he is actually lazy as he just doesn’t do things in the order or time frame that she would.
There is a difference between taking some down time and being just plain lazy. If a man is fulfilling his responsibilities as a provider and doing his share of the load around the house, then taking some time off is healthy. If he doesn’t have a job and just lies around all day, he’s probably lazy. I’ve seen some women who rag their husbands continuously with “honey-do” projects around the house. They trail around behind their husbands, nipping at their heels to make sure they get the job done right. The poor guys have that slightly hysterical look about them, like horses that have been ridden hard and put away wet.
Recharge
Regardless of the circumstances, men need down time to recharge their batteries. This is not even so much physical down time as it is emotional and psychological down time. They need to regroup and ready themselves for the next day or week’s challenges.
One man told me, “There were times when I was a truck driver that I didn’t want to do anything at the end of a grueling week. I was tired from three hours of sleep each night and going all day long. I just needed to do nothing so my body could rest and my mind could clear. I think it was mostly a mind issue. It had been busy all day every day, and I just needed some quiet time.”
The truth is most men get beat up in a variety of ways through their jobs. Maybe they have a boss that berates them or is unappreciative of their efforts, or perhaps their job
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