Read Online Because We Are by Mildred Pitts; Walter - Free Book Online Page A

Marvin who was being vamped by white girls, so what could she say? She wanted to ask: What choice do we have? Do we Black women do what we do because we want to, or because we have to? She thought of the old saying “You can’t lean on a broken stick.” Seems like to me we’re being asked to take the blame for not leaning on a stick that was broken by the people doing the blaming , but she said nothing.
    In the middle of the laughter, the doorbell rang. It was as though lightning had struck. The laughing ceased. Nobody moved, yet the anticipation in the room seemed to crackle in the silence.
    â€œDee. Dee, come down here,” Dee’s mother called.
    They all scrambled up and, as one, they tumbled down the stairs. A member of the Golden Slippers Club stood near the door with a gold envelope in her hand. “Dedrie, congratulations! You have been chosen as a Golden Slipper’s debutante for this year. We are proud to honor you.” The statement was friendly, but formally made.
    Everybody stood breathless, waiting as Dee nervously broke the heavy seal and brought forth the gold invitation for her and an escort to attend the ball. Then the gold chain with the golden slipper was placed around Dee’s neck. Squeals shattered the silence as the girls hugged and kissed Dee in joy.
    The telephone started ringing. Other visitations had been made. Each time the phone rang Emma’s heart stopped, then pounded wildly until someone had been called. Laughter and tears of relief flowed as each congratulated the other.
    Why didn’t her mother call? Emma wondered whenever the phone was silent for a minute. Then there were only two girls left. The phone rang. Emma was not called. She waited and waited.
    â€œCall home,” Dee suggested. “Your mother couldn’t get through. The line has been busy. Call, Em.”
    â€œIt’s no use. I’ll not make a debut this year,” she said, trying to appear lighthearted; but her heart was like lead and her mouth was dry, her eyes burning with unshed tears.
    The joy the others felt could not be subdued and Emma remembered words she had read somewhere: “Those who look upon the dead have a sudden rush of joy because they are alive.” She knew that each girl mourned for her, but was also delighted it was not she who had been rejected. She understood and was happy for them all.
    She lay in her sleeping bag wondering, Why me? How could they have rejected her? If only she could move back the time. Oh, God, she prayed, why do this to me? Will I go on forever paying for one stupid mistake? She felt as though she would crumble inside. She must not let go. A sound alerted her. Then she saw Melanie’s flask in the darkness and she wanted to call out. Maybe she should share that flask and forget it all; but she felt that if she moved and said a word, she would shatter into a thousand pieces. She lay there hanging on.
    Then the phone was ringing, ringing, ringing. She was running to answer it, but she couldn’t find it. Where was it? She ran through every room hoping it would not stop ringing before she got to it. Suddenly she knew that someone was hiding the phone from her. She began to cry. It’s only a game of hide-and-seek. Stop that crying! I don’t want to play a game, she screamed. The phone stopped ringing; the shock of the silence woke her.
    She shot up. Her sleeping bag was wet with tears. The girls around her were breathing evenly, dead in slumber. She made her way, quietly, through the sleeping girls, down the stairs. In the back of the house, near the sliding door of Dee’s living room, she looked out at the blue water of the swimming pool. Day was dawning and the lights reflecting in the water were losing their power to the light of day.
    Silent tears streamed down her face as she wondered, Could it be true that there are people in the world who do not wish me well? And then she thought, No, my invitation is there,