Read Online Battleship (Movie Tie-in Edition) by Peter David - Free Book Online
Authors: Peter David
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her hulls.
As Hopper and Sam moved as quickly as her high heels would let her, they passed a cheesy gift shop outside the entryway to the
Missouri
, selling every battleship-themed souvenir that anyone could imagine. Hopper considered the fact that before joining up—even with the Navy background of both his father and brother—he wouldn’t have given a crap about the relentless merchandising of a proud vessel. Now it bugged the hell out of him, but there wasn’t much of anything he could do about it.
There was a skinny, bespectacled tour guide lecturing a group of tourists who were studying the various gifts,some of them expressing annoyance that they weren’t being allowed to take the usual tour on the vessel, arguing that—after all—that’s what it had been built for. The tour guide, who was wearing an unspeakably tacky hat in the shape of a foam battleship (available for $5.99 in the gift shop), was busy explaining that, first of all, the Mighty Mo was reserved today for a special ceremony, and second, yes, the ship was now a museum, but that wasn’t what it had been built for. Hopper rolled his eyes at the stupidity of some people. He started to slow and, as if she were reading his mind, Sam pulled on his hand to make sure he didn’t get dragged into the middle of something.
“The USS
Missouri
was the final battleship to be completed by the United States,” the guide was telling them, “before being decommissioned and replaced by a more modern fleet of vessels, known as
destroyers
.”
“What’s the difference between the two?” asked a kid.
“Well, destroyers are lighter and faster and fire different weapons.”
Whoa, what—?!
Hopper stopped short, jerking Sam to a halt as well. Before she could do anything such as, for instance, talk sense into him, Hopper pulled away from her and turned to the guide. “That’s what you’re telling ’em? That’s bullshit!”
Sam visibly blanched, as did a couple of old women. The men looked surprised, and a grin split the face of the kid, probably because he liked hearing grown-ups curse.
“Hopper—!” said Sam warningly.
“I’m coming,” he said, but it was perfunctory, his attention entirely on the boy. “Battleships: dinosaurs. Destroyers:
awesome!
”
Sam put her hands on her hips in a manner that indicated he wasn’t going to be getting any anytime soon … if ever. “Are you kidding me right now?”
“I’m coming.” He didn’t mean it any more the second time than he had the first, and he continued addressing the kid, grabbing tiny gray plastic models of the two types of boats from the souvenir stand. He held up a little battleship in his left hand. “Battleships: designed to take hits like a floating punching bag.” Then he held up the right. “Destroyers: designed to dish it out like a freakin’ Terminator!” He thrust the small destroyer toward the kid, whose eyes were round and goggled. “We’ve got Tomahawk cruise missiles, sea-skimming Harpoons, torpedoes like there’s no tomorrow …”
“Awe
-some
…!” said the kid.
“Yeah,” said Hopper, nodding, feeling much like a kid himself. “That’s what I’m talking about.”
“Hopper!”
The kid glanced toward the annoyed Sam. “Your girlfriend’s hot.”
“Get your own,” said Hopper. “Gotta go.”
He hurried over to Sam, who glared at him as they started running. “Everyone’s waiting and you’re talking about boats?”
“We were also talking about how hot you were.”
“You were not!”
“Swear to God.”
“Oh. Well … okay, then,” she said, slightly mollified.
The deck of the
Missouri
was filled with naval officers from an assortment of countries. The United States, Japan, Great Britain, Australia, South Korea, India and more were all represented, and flags from each of the nations were fluttering in the morning breeze. Having left Sam to find a spot in the audience with the families and other guests, he threaded his way through
As Hopper and Sam moved as quickly as her high heels would let her, they passed a cheesy gift shop outside the entryway to the
Missouri
, selling every battleship-themed souvenir that anyone could imagine. Hopper considered the fact that before joining up—even with the Navy background of both his father and brother—he wouldn’t have given a crap about the relentless merchandising of a proud vessel. Now it bugged the hell out of him, but there wasn’t much of anything he could do about it.
There was a skinny, bespectacled tour guide lecturing a group of tourists who were studying the various gifts,some of them expressing annoyance that they weren’t being allowed to take the usual tour on the vessel, arguing that—after all—that’s what it had been built for. The tour guide, who was wearing an unspeakably tacky hat in the shape of a foam battleship (available for $5.99 in the gift shop), was busy explaining that, first of all, the Mighty Mo was reserved today for a special ceremony, and second, yes, the ship was now a museum, but that wasn’t what it had been built for. Hopper rolled his eyes at the stupidity of some people. He started to slow and, as if she were reading his mind, Sam pulled on his hand to make sure he didn’t get dragged into the middle of something.
“The USS
Missouri
was the final battleship to be completed by the United States,” the guide was telling them, “before being decommissioned and replaced by a more modern fleet of vessels, known as
destroyers
.”
“What’s the difference between the two?” asked a kid.
“Well, destroyers are lighter and faster and fire different weapons.”
Whoa, what—?!
Hopper stopped short, jerking Sam to a halt as well. Before she could do anything such as, for instance, talk sense into him, Hopper pulled away from her and turned to the guide. “That’s what you’re telling ’em? That’s bullshit!”
Sam visibly blanched, as did a couple of old women. The men looked surprised, and a grin split the face of the kid, probably because he liked hearing grown-ups curse.
“Hopper—!” said Sam warningly.
“I’m coming,” he said, but it was perfunctory, his attention entirely on the boy. “Battleships: dinosaurs. Destroyers:
awesome!
”
Sam put her hands on her hips in a manner that indicated he wasn’t going to be getting any anytime soon … if ever. “Are you kidding me right now?”
“I’m coming.” He didn’t mean it any more the second time than he had the first, and he continued addressing the kid, grabbing tiny gray plastic models of the two types of boats from the souvenir stand. He held up a little battleship in his left hand. “Battleships: designed to take hits like a floating punching bag.” Then he held up the right. “Destroyers: designed to dish it out like a freakin’ Terminator!” He thrust the small destroyer toward the kid, whose eyes were round and goggled. “We’ve got Tomahawk cruise missiles, sea-skimming Harpoons, torpedoes like there’s no tomorrow …”
“Awe
-some
…!” said the kid.
“Yeah,” said Hopper, nodding, feeling much like a kid himself. “That’s what I’m talking about.”
“Hopper!”
The kid glanced toward the annoyed Sam. “Your girlfriend’s hot.”
“Get your own,” said Hopper. “Gotta go.”
He hurried over to Sam, who glared at him as they started running. “Everyone’s waiting and you’re talking about boats?”
“We were also talking about how hot you were.”
“You were not!”
“Swear to God.”
“Oh. Well … okay, then,” she said, slightly mollified.
The deck of the
Missouri
was filled with naval officers from an assortment of countries. The United States, Japan, Great Britain, Australia, South Korea, India and more were all represented, and flags from each of the nations were fluttering in the morning breeze. Having left Sam to find a spot in the audience with the families and other guests, he threaded his way through
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