Read Online Batman 1 - Batman by Craig Shaw Gardner - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Craig Shaw Gardner
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you again, Miss Vale.”
“Yeah.” Vicki smiled at the gentleman’s gentleman. “I guess I’ll see you when you guys get back.”
“Back, ma’am?” Alfred asked with the politest of frowns. “We’re here for quite a while, I believe.”
“Oh,” Vicki replied, her cheer suddenly deflated. “Never mind. See you.”
She stepped through the doorway and walked away from her one night in Wayne Manor. So much for dreams where millionaire playboys were concerned.
This was the first time he’d been in Alicia’s apartment in ever so long. The place hadn’t improved in the meantime. But the Joker had an idea for a change or two.
She’d come in already, but she hadn’t noticed him. She was far too busy in the other room with her dress bags and packages. There! He could see her in the doorway.
“Honey!” he called.
She turned around. She dropped her packages. She screamed.
Was that any way to greet your lover? And here he was, in smoking jacket and slippers, dry martini at his side, reading the evening paper while waiting for his Alicia to come home.
Oh, well. Perhaps a little conversation would break the ice.
“You wouldn’t believe ,” the Joker quipped, “what happened to me today.”
Alicia fell to the floor in a dead faint.
Then again, the Joker considered, perhaps their relationship needed some work.
This is the way it was supposed to be! All of Grissom’s ganglords in one big room—and the Joker at the head of the conference table.
“So that’s the way it’s supposed to be, gentlemen,” the Joker concluded. “Until Grissom resurfaces, I’m the acting president. And I say we start with this Gotham City Anniversary Festival and run this city into the ground!”
All of Grissom’s boys muttered to each other. The Joker certainly hoped they all appreciated his efforts. After all, it wasn’t as if he didn’t have to make sacrifices to run this meeting. First, there was all that trouble finding the flesh-colored makeup thick enough to cover his deadly pallor, then there was the black hair dye over his natural green. Just so he could look like Jack Napier again for this one important afternoon. Of course, there was nothing he could do about his charming new grin, but didn’t a big smile make life just that much more pleasant?
The Joker waited pleasantly for the gang’s decision. Oh, there were some, like that wimp accountant Luce, that were cowed from the minute he walked into the room. But there were others, like that Vinnie Ricorso over there, who wanted to think for themselves, who actually might question the Joker’s decisions.
The Joker allowed himself a silent sigh. Why was life always so full of Vinnie Ricorsos?
“Why don’t we hear from Grissom?” Ricorso demanded.
Carmine Rotelli was at the other end of the table. Rotelli was always good at being brave, as long as someone else was brave first.
“How come you’re wearing that stupid smirk?” Rotelli demanded.
“Because life’s been good to me,” the Joker replied.
But that answer wasn’t good enough for Rotelli.
“What if we say no?” he demanded even further.
But the Joker was ready for this too. A leader of men had to be ready for these eventualities.
“Nobody wants a war, Carmine,” the Joker replied smoothly. “If we can’t do business, we shake hands—and that’s it.”
“Yeah?” Rotelli asked, still a little doubtful.
“Yeah,” the Joker agreed. It was time for a demonstration. He stuck out his hand.
Rotelli stood and put his hand in the joker’s. They shook. It was too bad the Joker hadn’t told Rotelli about the joy buzzer.
Forty thousand volts surged through Rotelli’s body. What was left of him fell back into his chair, smoke pouring from what remained of his sleeves and shirt collar.
The Joker used only the very best joy buzzers.
The doors at the back of the room burst open, and the Joker’s own personal army marched in, much more personably dressed than the thugs already
“Yeah.” Vicki smiled at the gentleman’s gentleman. “I guess I’ll see you when you guys get back.”
“Back, ma’am?” Alfred asked with the politest of frowns. “We’re here for quite a while, I believe.”
“Oh,” Vicki replied, her cheer suddenly deflated. “Never mind. See you.”
She stepped through the doorway and walked away from her one night in Wayne Manor. So much for dreams where millionaire playboys were concerned.
This was the first time he’d been in Alicia’s apartment in ever so long. The place hadn’t improved in the meantime. But the Joker had an idea for a change or two.
She’d come in already, but she hadn’t noticed him. She was far too busy in the other room with her dress bags and packages. There! He could see her in the doorway.
“Honey!” he called.
She turned around. She dropped her packages. She screamed.
Was that any way to greet your lover? And here he was, in smoking jacket and slippers, dry martini at his side, reading the evening paper while waiting for his Alicia to come home.
Oh, well. Perhaps a little conversation would break the ice.
“You wouldn’t believe ,” the Joker quipped, “what happened to me today.”
Alicia fell to the floor in a dead faint.
Then again, the Joker considered, perhaps their relationship needed some work.
This is the way it was supposed to be! All of Grissom’s ganglords in one big room—and the Joker at the head of the conference table.
“So that’s the way it’s supposed to be, gentlemen,” the Joker concluded. “Until Grissom resurfaces, I’m the acting president. And I say we start with this Gotham City Anniversary Festival and run this city into the ground!”
All of Grissom’s boys muttered to each other. The Joker certainly hoped they all appreciated his efforts. After all, it wasn’t as if he didn’t have to make sacrifices to run this meeting. First, there was all that trouble finding the flesh-colored makeup thick enough to cover his deadly pallor, then there was the black hair dye over his natural green. Just so he could look like Jack Napier again for this one important afternoon. Of course, there was nothing he could do about his charming new grin, but didn’t a big smile make life just that much more pleasant?
The Joker waited pleasantly for the gang’s decision. Oh, there were some, like that wimp accountant Luce, that were cowed from the minute he walked into the room. But there were others, like that Vinnie Ricorso over there, who wanted to think for themselves, who actually might question the Joker’s decisions.
The Joker allowed himself a silent sigh. Why was life always so full of Vinnie Ricorsos?
“Why don’t we hear from Grissom?” Ricorso demanded.
Carmine Rotelli was at the other end of the table. Rotelli was always good at being brave, as long as someone else was brave first.
“How come you’re wearing that stupid smirk?” Rotelli demanded.
“Because life’s been good to me,” the Joker replied.
But that answer wasn’t good enough for Rotelli.
“What if we say no?” he demanded even further.
But the Joker was ready for this too. A leader of men had to be ready for these eventualities.
“Nobody wants a war, Carmine,” the Joker replied smoothly. “If we can’t do business, we shake hands—and that’s it.”
“Yeah?” Rotelli asked, still a little doubtful.
“Yeah,” the Joker agreed. It was time for a demonstration. He stuck out his hand.
Rotelli stood and put his hand in the joker’s. They shook. It was too bad the Joker hadn’t told Rotelli about the joy buzzer.
Forty thousand volts surged through Rotelli’s body. What was left of him fell back into his chair, smoke pouring from what remained of his sleeves and shirt collar.
The Joker used only the very best joy buzzers.
The doors at the back of the room burst open, and the Joker’s own personal army marched in, much more personably dressed than the thugs already
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