juts from one of the metal walls. If there was ever a mattress here, it’s long rotted away. There is debris and a bit of dirt in the corners of the oversized square, and I run my gloved hand over it before lying down and staring up at the ceiling. There are cracks that let the light in, and a large chunk of black metal looks as if it’s about to fall inward, but I don’t move.
If fate’s going to dick me over, well, it can’t be any worse than it is right now.
Haeden’s my mate. I taste the words on my tongue and find I still can’t reconcile myself to them. I’ve been sick for nearly a month now due to fighting my cootie, and I’m so tired. So exhausted in both mind and body. The cootie won’t let me rest. I’m constantly twitching and aware - even in my sleep - and I can’t relax. My pussy aches, something I’ve never really experienced before. Not the ache of abuse but a deep down, empty, gnawing ache as if I need to be filled.
According to the cootie, I guess I do. I need to be filled first by Haeden, and then by the baby he’s going to leave inside me. Wordless frustration spirals through me, but I force it back.
I’ve already had my night of tears. I won’t let myself have more. I need a solution. So I lie back and think of options.
I…really don’t have any.
I’ve tried denying my cootie. I’ve been doing that for the last month, and it’s gotten me nowhere but exhausted and wrung-out. On some days, I don’t feel strong enough to get out of bed. I can’t go on like this forever. So that’s a big X.
I can’t get my cootie out of my chest safely. Not without the surgery machine, which is currently busted. So that’s not an option.
I could…kill Haeden.
I giggle a little wickedly at the thought. Okay, I totally couldn’t kill Haeden. Not only is he stronger than me, I would never be able to live with myself if I harmed another person. I’m not like that. And I don’t hate him. I just hate being attached to him.
What option does that leave?
Just one, I’m afraid.
I swallow hard, thinking about being mated to Haeden. One night of unpleasant sex with a man that scorns me and makes me feel like less? I could live through it. I don’t want it, of course, but I’ve had worse and I’ve lived through it. It’s what comes next that scares me.
There’s a big plus to giving in. A baby. I hug my arms to my chest and imagine my belly filled with a new life. I imagine a baby of my own to cuddle and love. My heart aches with want. I’d love a child. I’d love one so badly. All my life, there’s never been anyone or anything that’s loved me unconditionally. I was tossed from foster home to foster home for as long as I could remember, and I’ve never had a pet. A child as sweet as Liz’s chubby Raashel would be amazing. I’d even take a little crankmonster like Harlow’s Rukhar, because when he gives that droopy baby smile, you feel like your entire world brightens.
A baby. My cootie wants me to have a baby. Tears threaten to come to my eyes, and I feel a surge of want and love so strong that my cootie immediately starts purring, no doubt thinking Haeden is in the room.
And that brings me back down to earth.
Haeden.
If I give in to the resonance - and everything in my body is just about to give out, so it’s not looking like I have a choice - I’m going to be considered his mate. His wifey. I’ll be tied to him forever and ever. I’ll be stuck with him looking at me with scorn every day for the rest of my life. His irritated snort of derision every time I speak up. He’ll break me down until I’m nothing.
And that’s the life I’ll bring my baby into.
A yearning ache fills my breast. I was never loved by my parents, given up for adoption at the age of two. I’ve always dreamed of the fantasy of a real family and a happy ever after. That one day, all the bad shit I’ve gone through will be behind me, and it’ll be worth it because I’ll have nothing but happiness
If fate’s going to dick me over, well, it can’t be any worse than it is right now.
Haeden’s my mate. I taste the words on my tongue and find I still can’t reconcile myself to them. I’ve been sick for nearly a month now due to fighting my cootie, and I’m so tired. So exhausted in both mind and body. The cootie won’t let me rest. I’m constantly twitching and aware - even in my sleep - and I can’t relax. My pussy aches, something I’ve never really experienced before. Not the ache of abuse but a deep down, empty, gnawing ache as if I need to be filled.
According to the cootie, I guess I do. I need to be filled first by Haeden, and then by the baby he’s going to leave inside me. Wordless frustration spirals through me, but I force it back.
I’ve already had my night of tears. I won’t let myself have more. I need a solution. So I lie back and think of options.
I…really don’t have any.
I’ve tried denying my cootie. I’ve been doing that for the last month, and it’s gotten me nowhere but exhausted and wrung-out. On some days, I don’t feel strong enough to get out of bed. I can’t go on like this forever. So that’s a big X.
I can’t get my cootie out of my chest safely. Not without the surgery machine, which is currently busted. So that’s not an option.
I could…kill Haeden.
I giggle a little wickedly at the thought. Okay, I totally couldn’t kill Haeden. Not only is he stronger than me, I would never be able to live with myself if I harmed another person. I’m not like that. And I don’t hate him. I just hate being attached to him.
What option does that leave?
Just one, I’m afraid.
I swallow hard, thinking about being mated to Haeden. One night of unpleasant sex with a man that scorns me and makes me feel like less? I could live through it. I don’t want it, of course, but I’ve had worse and I’ve lived through it. It’s what comes next that scares me.
There’s a big plus to giving in. A baby. I hug my arms to my chest and imagine my belly filled with a new life. I imagine a baby of my own to cuddle and love. My heart aches with want. I’d love a child. I’d love one so badly. All my life, there’s never been anyone or anything that’s loved me unconditionally. I was tossed from foster home to foster home for as long as I could remember, and I’ve never had a pet. A child as sweet as Liz’s chubby Raashel would be amazing. I’d even take a little crankmonster like Harlow’s Rukhar, because when he gives that droopy baby smile, you feel like your entire world brightens.
A baby. My cootie wants me to have a baby. Tears threaten to come to my eyes, and I feel a surge of want and love so strong that my cootie immediately starts purring, no doubt thinking Haeden is in the room.
And that brings me back down to earth.
Haeden.
If I give in to the resonance - and everything in my body is just about to give out, so it’s not looking like I have a choice - I’m going to be considered his mate. His wifey. I’ll be tied to him forever and ever. I’ll be stuck with him looking at me with scorn every day for the rest of my life. His irritated snort of derision every time I speak up. He’ll break me down until I’m nothing.
And that’s the life I’ll bring my baby into.
A yearning ache fills my breast. I was never loved by my parents, given up for adoption at the age of two. I’ve always dreamed of the fantasy of a real family and a happy ever after. That one day, all the bad shit I’ve gone through will be behind me, and it’ll be worth it because I’ll have nothing but happiness
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