Read Online Band Fags! by Frank Anthony Polito - Free Book Online Page A

lost.
    But because I’m the bigger person I say, “Hey, Bobby,” as I crawl into the backseat of Brad’s Mom’s tan little K-Car fifteen minutes later…
    â€œâ€™s up, Jackie?” says Bobby, chomping a huge wad of grape Bubble Yum, barely looking at me. He’s too preoccupied acting ever so cool in his sea green hospital scrubs, left arm draped over the back of the front seat where he sits with Janelle—and her boobs—on his lap.
    â€œWhere’s Ted?” I ask nobody in particular. Just to remind Bobby of the presence of Ted Baniszewski in Janelle Dayton’s life.
    â€œWork,” Janelle answers matter-of-factly.
    Like her brother, Janelle Dayton’s got reddish-brown hair. Though hers is a lot bigger and curlier. According to Brad, she’s got way more freckles than he does. But she wears so much makeup, you can hardly tell. Don’t get me wrong, she is kinda hot. Though maybe it’s just her boobs.
    We drive west on 8 Mile towards Woodward listening to Ernie “The Voice of the Tigers” Harwell recapping tonight’s World Series victory: “After a disappointing loss in San Diego on Wednesday night, the Tigers were back in Motown where they defeated the Padres in games three and four at Tiger Stadium.
    â€œHopes ran high for the Home Team tonight as right fielder, Kirk Gibson, dropped two bombs into the upper decks in the 1st and 8 th innings, in addition to stealing home in the 5 th on a shallow fly ball to right field.
    â€œCatcher Lance Parrish also sent one bouncing into the bleachers and relievers Aurelio Lopez and Willie Hernandez held the Padres at bay for the 8–4 victory. Manager Sparky Anderson has become the first skipper to guide two separate franchises to World Series victories after winning with the National League’s Cincinnati Reds in both ’75 and ’76. Congratulations also go out to series MVP, shortstop Alan Trammell.”
    â€œHey J,” I hear Bobby say to Janelle, “wha’s up with Ted and the job?”
    â€œHe said, ‘No problem,’” Janelle replies.
    To which Bobby says, “Cool.”
    â€œWhat job?” I ask, being nosy.
    â€œTed’s getting me and Bobby jobs at Country Boy’s,” Brad announces. Which is this Total Dive diner on the corner of 9 Mile and Vassar. Though in all the years I’ve lived in Hazeltucky, I don’t think I’ve ever once set foot inside.
    So I ask, “What kinda jobs?”
    â€œBusboys…$2.92 an hour to start, plus tips.”
    Then I say, “How come you didn’t ask me if I wanted a job?” Not because I want or need one. But because this is the first I’ve heard about it and I wanna know why my Best Friend is keeping secrets from me.
    â€œPlease!” Brad groans. “I can just see you working as a busboy, Jack.”
    Even though he’s right—I could never do such menial labor—I tell him, “You still could’ve asked.”
    The drive down Woodward ends up more of a traffic jam than an actual “parade.” In fact, the ones doing all the parading are us fans. Not a Detroit Tiger is anywhere in sight. But what I fear might turn into a re-creation of the ’67 Cass Corridor Riots amounts to a huge par-tay in the streets.
    I can’t even explain how totally cool it is to see so many people celebrating together. Black, white, Caldean, you name it…All thanks to the “Roar of ’84!”
    Of course, Brad’s Mom—Laura Victor-Dayton-Victor, having gone back to using her maiden name since divorcing Brad’s Deadbeat Dad—is a nervous wreck the entire time she’s behind the wheel. Hands at 10 and 2. Staring straight ahead.
    â€œBr-a-a-d,” she drawls in her Alabama accent. “You boys be careful, you hear me?” To which she’s referring to the fact that Brad and Bobby are now totally hanging out the passenger window.