Read Online Bagombo Snuff Box by Kurt Vonnegut - Free Book Online Page B

treasure chest,
with the flames of the candelabra caught in a thousand perfect surfaces—the
silver, the china, the facets of the crystal, Maude’s rubies, and Maude’s and
Earl’s proud eyes. The maid set steaming soup, prepared for the sake of the picture,
before them.
    “Perfect!” said Slotkin. “So! Now talk.”
    “What about?” said Earl.
    “Anything,” said the woman writer. “Just so the picture won’t
look posed. Talk about your trip. How does the situation in Asia look?”
    It was a question Earl wasn’t inclined to chat about
lightly.
    “You’ve been to Asia?” said Charley.
    Earl smiled. “India, Burma, the Philippines, Japan. All in
all, Maude and I must have spent two months looking the situation over.”
    “Earl and I took every side trip there was,” said Maude. “He
just had to see for himself what was what.”
    “Trouble with the State Department is they’re all up in an
ivory tower,” said Earl.
    Beyond the glittering camera lens and the bank of flashbulb
reflectors, Earl saw the eyes of Charley Freeman. Expert talk on large affairs
had been among Charley’s many strong points in college, and Earl had been able
only to listen and nod and wonder.
    “Yes, sir,” said Earl, summing up, “the situation looked
just about hopeless to everybody on the cruise but Maude and me, and it took us
a while to figure out why that was. Then we realized that we were about the
only ones who’d pulled themselves up by their bootstraps—that we were the only
ones who really understood that no matter how low a man is, if he’s got what it
takes, he can get clean to the top.” He paused. “There’s nothing wrong with
Asia that a little spunk and common sense and know-how won’t cure.”
    “I’m glad it’s that easy,” said Charley. “I was afraid
things were more complicated than that.”
    Earl, who rightly considered himself one of the easiest men
on earth to get along with, found himself in the unfamiliar position of being
furious with a fellow human being. Charley Freeman, who evidently had failed as
Earl had risen in the world, was openly belittling one of Earl’s proudest accomplishments,
his knowledge of Asia. “I’ve seen it, Charley!” said Earl. “I’m not talking as
just one more darn fool armchair strategist who’s never been outside his own
city limits!”
    Slotkin fired his flashbulbs. “One more,” he said.
    “Of course you’re not, Earl,” said Charley. “That was rude
of me. What you say is very true, in a way, but it’s such an oversimplification.
Taken by itself, it’s a dangerous way of thinking. I shouldn’t have
interrupted. It’s simply that the subject is one I have a deep interest in.”
    Earl felt his cheeks reddening, as Charley, with his seeming
apology, set himself up as a greater authority on Asia than Earl. “Think maybe
I’m entitled to some opinions on Asia, Charley. I actually got out and rubbed
elbows with the people over there, finding out how their minds work and all.”
    “You should have seen him jawing away with the Chinese
bellboys in Manila,” said Maude, challenging Charley with her eyes to top that.
    “Now then,” said the writer, checking a list, “the last shot
we want is of you two coming in the front door with your suitcases, looking
surprised, as though you’ve just arrived. . . .”
    In the master bedroom again, Earl and Maude obediently
changed back into the clothes they’d been wearing when they first arrived. Earl
was studying his face in a mirror, practicing looks of pleased surprise and
trying not to let the presence of Charley Freeman spoil this day of days.
    “He’s staying for supper and the night?” asked Maude.
    “Oh heck, I was just trying to be a good fellow on the
phone. Wasn’t even thinking when I asked him to stay here instead of at the
hotel. I could kick myself around the block.”
    “Lordy. Maybe he’ll stay a week.”
    “Who knows? Slotkin hasn’t given me a chance to ask Charley
much of