not a moment too soon. Tobiascame charging out, rifle first. You could take what I knew about firearms, write it on a postage stamp, and still have room, but even I knew you weren’t supposed to hold your rifle out in front of you like that. Someone could get hurt.
And someone did. That someone was Tobias, who took a yeti fist to the top of the head. I was about twenty feet away, but I could still see the whites of his eyes as they rolled back into his head.
“Awesome!” I gave the yeti two thumbs up, and he shuffled his feet like he didn’t know how to take a compliment. “Just keep an eye on him, okay, big guy?”
Then the she-yeti and I systematically released the liger, a unicorn with a glittery horn, a cockatrice about the size of a housecat, and an ill-tempered cerberus. The cerberus tried to bite off my right arm, my left foot, and my head all at the same time, until the she-yeti growled and it backed away.
“Is that everyone?” I asked. The she-yeti gestured toward the building where the dragon had disappeared. I nodded. Maybe I could train it not to spit fire and then my parents would let me keep it—how cool would that be? I’d name it Kate, because I had never missed an opportunity to mess with my sister, and I wasn’t about to start now.
I cautiously stepped over Tobias’s prone body and then realized that a nice guy would check to see if he was breathing. I was a nice guy, so I did, and he was. Then I stepped on his hand on my way inside because I may be nice, but I’m not a total pushover.
Inside was chaos. The building had probably been a lab at some point—I could see all kinds of machinery that would have made my future-doctor sister squeal with delight. Unfortunately, most of the machines were scattered all over the floor in bits and pieces. Tables were overturned and papers were flung all over the place. A can of Mountain Dew had spilled on the floor, and I practically got down on my hands and knees to lick up the sticky liquid. I was thirsty after all my adventuring.
About five feet from the spilled Mountain Dew was Kate the dragon. I didn’t have to get any closer to know that she was dead.
My poor dragon had been crushed under a paperweight shaped like a giant donut. I dropped to my knees and started to cry. Maybe that was a little wussy of me, but she didn’t have to die. She’d saved my life.
I was just wiping the snot off my face when the air exploded with howls and screeches. I scrambled to my feet, sprinted for the door, and promptly tripped over Tobias.
CHAPTER 9
From my spot facedown in the dirt, I watched as the clearing erupted into chaos. A semi trailer blocked the driveway, and a phalanx of guys in mirrored shades, black jackets, and uncomfortably tight uniform pants were battling with the mythological creatures. (And if a LARPer says someone’s pants are tight, that’s pretty bad.)
Part of me was astounded that Tobias hadn’t hallucinated his buyer, but I wasn’t all that surprised. The money for this operation had to come from somewhere. Most of what my sister told me went in one ear and out the other, but I still had a pretty good idea of how much the average scientific study cost. Tobias had to have sponsors with a lot of bank to pull off genetic engineering. And now those sponsors were attacking my new friends with shock sticks.
But the creatures were holding their own. As I watched, the liger pounced on a bad guy from behind. (He had shock-sticked himself, the idiot.) Both yeti were picking up random villains and tossing them into the trees. It was working really well until the she-yeti got mobbed by four guys at once and went down. The he-yeti waded into the fray to save her.
The unicorn was dancing around just out of reach of a pair of evil twins. She was faster than both of them put together. I couldn’t see the cockatrice anywhere, but the cerberus was gnawing on two different guys at the same time while the third head kept a lookout.
One guy,
And someone did. That someone was Tobias, who took a yeti fist to the top of the head. I was about twenty feet away, but I could still see the whites of his eyes as they rolled back into his head.
“Awesome!” I gave the yeti two thumbs up, and he shuffled his feet like he didn’t know how to take a compliment. “Just keep an eye on him, okay, big guy?”
Then the she-yeti and I systematically released the liger, a unicorn with a glittery horn, a cockatrice about the size of a housecat, and an ill-tempered cerberus. The cerberus tried to bite off my right arm, my left foot, and my head all at the same time, until the she-yeti growled and it backed away.
“Is that everyone?” I asked. The she-yeti gestured toward the building where the dragon had disappeared. I nodded. Maybe I could train it not to spit fire and then my parents would let me keep it—how cool would that be? I’d name it Kate, because I had never missed an opportunity to mess with my sister, and I wasn’t about to start now.
I cautiously stepped over Tobias’s prone body and then realized that a nice guy would check to see if he was breathing. I was a nice guy, so I did, and he was. Then I stepped on his hand on my way inside because I may be nice, but I’m not a total pushover.
Inside was chaos. The building had probably been a lab at some point—I could see all kinds of machinery that would have made my future-doctor sister squeal with delight. Unfortunately, most of the machines were scattered all over the floor in bits and pieces. Tables were overturned and papers were flung all over the place. A can of Mountain Dew had spilled on the floor, and I practically got down on my hands and knees to lick up the sticky liquid. I was thirsty after all my adventuring.
About five feet from the spilled Mountain Dew was Kate the dragon. I didn’t have to get any closer to know that she was dead.
My poor dragon had been crushed under a paperweight shaped like a giant donut. I dropped to my knees and started to cry. Maybe that was a little wussy of me, but she didn’t have to die. She’d saved my life.
I was just wiping the snot off my face when the air exploded with howls and screeches. I scrambled to my feet, sprinted for the door, and promptly tripped over Tobias.
CHAPTER 9
From my spot facedown in the dirt, I watched as the clearing erupted into chaos. A semi trailer blocked the driveway, and a phalanx of guys in mirrored shades, black jackets, and uncomfortably tight uniform pants were battling with the mythological creatures. (And if a LARPer says someone’s pants are tight, that’s pretty bad.)
Part of me was astounded that Tobias hadn’t hallucinated his buyer, but I wasn’t all that surprised. The money for this operation had to come from somewhere. Most of what my sister told me went in one ear and out the other, but I still had a pretty good idea of how much the average scientific study cost. Tobias had to have sponsors with a lot of bank to pull off genetic engineering. And now those sponsors were attacking my new friends with shock sticks.
But the creatures were holding their own. As I watched, the liger pounced on a bad guy from behind. (He had shock-sticked himself, the idiot.) Both yeti were picking up random villains and tossing them into the trees. It was working really well until the she-yeti got mobbed by four guys at once and went down. The he-yeti waded into the fray to save her.
The unicorn was dancing around just out of reach of a pair of evil twins. She was faster than both of them put together. I couldn’t see the cockatrice anywhere, but the cerberus was gnawing on two different guys at the same time while the third head kept a lookout.
One guy,
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