Read Online Bachelor Father by Vicki Lewis Lewis Thompson - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Vicki Lewis Lewis Thompson
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I would give my life to keep her from harm.”
She caught her breath at the power in that statement. She had no doubt that he meant it, either. He might be a difficult man to get close to, but without hesitating, he’d put his life on the line for those smaller and weaker than he. She’d always suspected that if she’d missed the branch he’d held out for her that day, he would have dived into the water after her. Either he would have saved her or they both would have drowned, but he wouldn’t have stood there watching her die.
And she still owed him for that. The anger drained out of her. “Zeke, I probably came on too strong about the money thing.”
“I’ve always said I’d be willing to pay. I just don’t want you building that into something more.”
“Okay. I won’t make it into something more.”
“How soon can you be ready to leave?”
“I should probably feed her first, just in case it takes longer than we think it might.”
“Fine. Let me know when you’re ready to go.” He opened the front door, letting in the scent of damp earth, and went outside on the porch as if he couldn’t bear to be closed in the same little space with her for a minute longer.
* * *
Z EKE LONGED FOR A HORIZON to look at, but the forest was shrouded in gray and he couldn’t see much beyond the clearing. He took a deep breath, drawing in the dank, loamy air. The chill felt good on his face. He didn’t like the picture Katherine was painting of him, as if he were some weird recluse who couldn’t relate to anyone.
It wasn’t like that. He had friends. He interacted just fine with tourists at the park. But he had grave misgivings about ever being somebody’s husband, and he sure as hell wasn’t equipped to be somebody’s father, especially if that person happened to be a tiny little girl.
He’d never been tiny. At three he’d looked six. He could still hear his mother telling him that he was too big, that he ate too much, that he was too loud. Apparently he’d been missing whatever a kid needed to make him lovable, or she wouldn’t have dumped him off at the ranch. At least there in the midst of a gang of boys, his size had been a plus. He could watch over the smaller kids.
Women still made him feel awkward, though, like a bull in a china shop—except for the night he’d spent with Katherine. On his own turf, with the immensity of the woods surrounding them, he’d felt in tune with a woman for the first time in his life, and he’d allowed himself to hope that maybe he wouldn’t live his life alone. Of course he’d been wrong.
And now this—having a daughter thrust at him with no mental preparation, and then being expected to say and do the right thing on selected holidays and summer vacations, all by himself with no woman to guide him... He couldn’t deal with that.
Then there was the other problem. He was still attracted to Katherine. He could feel that attraction growing like a seedling reaching for the sun. She probably thought he’d escaped to the front porch because he was angry with her. In fact he was angry with himself for shouting and waking the baby, but he’d left the room because he wasn’t sure what he’d do if he stayed while she unbuttoned her blouse again to feed Amanda.
He’d bought a couple of Adirondack chairs for the porch this summer, and he sat down in one while he waited for Katherine to finish getting the baby ready. For the first time he wondered why he’d bought two chairs. He’d ordered them from a catalog, and the order for two had been automatic in his mind. It just looked right to him, and yet he’d never brought a woman to the cabin until now, and when the guys from Lost Springs came out for the annual fishing trip, two chairs wouldn’t be enough.
He shook his head and muttered a swearword under his breath. Katherine really had him going, making him question every damn thing about his life, including how many chairs he’d bought for the front porch. The
She caught her breath at the power in that statement. She had no doubt that he meant it, either. He might be a difficult man to get close to, but without hesitating, he’d put his life on the line for those smaller and weaker than he. She’d always suspected that if she’d missed the branch he’d held out for her that day, he would have dived into the water after her. Either he would have saved her or they both would have drowned, but he wouldn’t have stood there watching her die.
And she still owed him for that. The anger drained out of her. “Zeke, I probably came on too strong about the money thing.”
“I’ve always said I’d be willing to pay. I just don’t want you building that into something more.”
“Okay. I won’t make it into something more.”
“How soon can you be ready to leave?”
“I should probably feed her first, just in case it takes longer than we think it might.”
“Fine. Let me know when you’re ready to go.” He opened the front door, letting in the scent of damp earth, and went outside on the porch as if he couldn’t bear to be closed in the same little space with her for a minute longer.
* * *
Z EKE LONGED FOR A HORIZON to look at, but the forest was shrouded in gray and he couldn’t see much beyond the clearing. He took a deep breath, drawing in the dank, loamy air. The chill felt good on his face. He didn’t like the picture Katherine was painting of him, as if he were some weird recluse who couldn’t relate to anyone.
It wasn’t like that. He had friends. He interacted just fine with tourists at the park. But he had grave misgivings about ever being somebody’s husband, and he sure as hell wasn’t equipped to be somebody’s father, especially if that person happened to be a tiny little girl.
He’d never been tiny. At three he’d looked six. He could still hear his mother telling him that he was too big, that he ate too much, that he was too loud. Apparently he’d been missing whatever a kid needed to make him lovable, or she wouldn’t have dumped him off at the ranch. At least there in the midst of a gang of boys, his size had been a plus. He could watch over the smaller kids.
Women still made him feel awkward, though, like a bull in a china shop—except for the night he’d spent with Katherine. On his own turf, with the immensity of the woods surrounding them, he’d felt in tune with a woman for the first time in his life, and he’d allowed himself to hope that maybe he wouldn’t live his life alone. Of course he’d been wrong.
And now this—having a daughter thrust at him with no mental preparation, and then being expected to say and do the right thing on selected holidays and summer vacations, all by himself with no woman to guide him... He couldn’t deal with that.
Then there was the other problem. He was still attracted to Katherine. He could feel that attraction growing like a seedling reaching for the sun. She probably thought he’d escaped to the front porch because he was angry with her. In fact he was angry with himself for shouting and waking the baby, but he’d left the room because he wasn’t sure what he’d do if he stayed while she unbuttoned her blouse again to feed Amanda.
He’d bought a couple of Adirondack chairs for the porch this summer, and he sat down in one while he waited for Katherine to finish getting the baby ready. For the first time he wondered why he’d bought two chairs. He’d ordered them from a catalog, and the order for two had been automatic in his mind. It just looked right to him, and yet he’d never brought a woman to the cabin until now, and when the guys from Lost Springs came out for the annual fishing trip, two chairs wouldn’t be enough.
He shook his head and muttered a swearword under his breath. Katherine really had him going, making him question every damn thing about his life, including how many chairs he’d bought for the front porch. The
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