fried eggs and hash browns. He does not eat that junk. He is watching his cholesterol. Most people here let their bodies get wrecked. Even the young ones are soft. But Wayne, though he will be thirty-eight this June, is hard as a football player.
Today’s schedule is posted on the bulletin board outside the orderlies’ station. Ten o’clock: shop. Not too much you can build without a hammer and saw. Eleven-thirty: current events. There will be a quiz on the days of the week. About half the class will flunk.
Lunch at noon. Fridays they have fish sticks and cole slaw. One o’clock: visiting hours. No one will come to see Wayne, of course. Still, he likes to change his shirt, slick his hair back with a little water, take the Union-Leader out into the sunroom. He will hold the paper open in front of his face but he will not read anything except the cars for sale. He has spotted some great deals. And he likes listening to the visitors.
Artie LeFleur, for example, who is in here for shooting his wife in the leg. She did not report his doing this for three days and by that time her leg was infected. Now she comes to visit him with their two kids, Norman and Marcelle. She has an artificial leg, which Artie refers to as her prosthetic device. One time he sneaked her into the shower stall while Wayne stood guard and Norman and Marcelle played pick-up sticks with Mrs. Partlow. Artie was too nervous to do anything, but his wife showed him her stump, which he hadn’t seen before. You meet some weird people here.
Wayne picks up a magazine. Woman’s Day , September 1976. Tips from the World’s Most Expensive Beauty Spa. Why I Chose Sterilization. Help! My Hair Just Won’t Hold a Set. Five Fantastic Meat Loaves. Are We Trying to Solve Too Many Problems with Sex?
Not likely.
He gets up, thinks he will take a stroll down the hall. They still haven’t taken down the cardboard rabbits and chicks and the banner that says Happy Easter. Probably won’t until the Memorial Day decorations go up. Mrs. Partlow’s drawing of Snoopy, with the words “Five Steps to Mental Health” coming out of his mouth, has been there since 1978.
“Keep a disciplined schedule.”
“Do not dwell on the past.”
“Be outgoing. Make new friends.” (Artie LeFleur)
“Avoid idleness. Keep busy.”
“Think positive.”
Back to the sunroom. He picks up the New Hampshire Times. Wayne does not have much use for the articles, which are mostly about very homey, backwoodsy things like maple sugaring and how to make your own horseshoes, which all the young kids are into who move here from places like New York. He would just like to check out the cars in the classifieds.
Nothing very good. He skims the page for something else that might be interesting. He has never noticed the personals column before.
Some make no sense.
“ TO THE DANVILLE CAL. MONKEY BREEDERS. I’ve gone bananas over your gift. My new little pal and I are real swingers. Love, Jim.”
“WOOD BUTCHER : T WO years have gone by in a minute. I’ve got love enough for hours. Augusta.”
“CONCORD AREA WOMEN looking for two articulate, radicalized women to vent anger with us. Call Claudia.”
“ANDROGYNOUS MAN, age 27, in open marriage, would like to meet female counterpart to share quality relationship. Interests include vegetarian dining, Judy Collins, solar energy, nonsmoking, intimacy, travel.”
“FARMER. Shy, nice looking. Would like to meet serious woman into organic gardening and holistic medicine.”
These men are a bunch of losers. Wayne feels he has much more to offer. He imagines what he would write, “INSATIABLE LOVER in search of same, THEY CALL ME CRAZY. Give me a call, SINGLE MAN. Not into travel.”
Seriously. What does he have to lose? “Hey, Charles,” he says. “Can I have an envelope and a stamp?”
Ann wakes up feeling better than usual. She will have just half a grapefruit for breakfast this morning and she will not turn on the Phil Donahue show. She
Today’s schedule is posted on the bulletin board outside the orderlies’ station. Ten o’clock: shop. Not too much you can build without a hammer and saw. Eleven-thirty: current events. There will be a quiz on the days of the week. About half the class will flunk.
Lunch at noon. Fridays they have fish sticks and cole slaw. One o’clock: visiting hours. No one will come to see Wayne, of course. Still, he likes to change his shirt, slick his hair back with a little water, take the Union-Leader out into the sunroom. He will hold the paper open in front of his face but he will not read anything except the cars for sale. He has spotted some great deals. And he likes listening to the visitors.
Artie LeFleur, for example, who is in here for shooting his wife in the leg. She did not report his doing this for three days and by that time her leg was infected. Now she comes to visit him with their two kids, Norman and Marcelle. She has an artificial leg, which Artie refers to as her prosthetic device. One time he sneaked her into the shower stall while Wayne stood guard and Norman and Marcelle played pick-up sticks with Mrs. Partlow. Artie was too nervous to do anything, but his wife showed him her stump, which he hadn’t seen before. You meet some weird people here.
Wayne picks up a magazine. Woman’s Day , September 1976. Tips from the World’s Most Expensive Beauty Spa. Why I Chose Sterilization. Help! My Hair Just Won’t Hold a Set. Five Fantastic Meat Loaves. Are We Trying to Solve Too Many Problems with Sex?
Not likely.
He gets up, thinks he will take a stroll down the hall. They still haven’t taken down the cardboard rabbits and chicks and the banner that says Happy Easter. Probably won’t until the Memorial Day decorations go up. Mrs. Partlow’s drawing of Snoopy, with the words “Five Steps to Mental Health” coming out of his mouth, has been there since 1978.
“Keep a disciplined schedule.”
“Do not dwell on the past.”
“Be outgoing. Make new friends.” (Artie LeFleur)
“Avoid idleness. Keep busy.”
“Think positive.”
Back to the sunroom. He picks up the New Hampshire Times. Wayne does not have much use for the articles, which are mostly about very homey, backwoodsy things like maple sugaring and how to make your own horseshoes, which all the young kids are into who move here from places like New York. He would just like to check out the cars in the classifieds.
Nothing very good. He skims the page for something else that might be interesting. He has never noticed the personals column before.
Some make no sense.
“ TO THE DANVILLE CAL. MONKEY BREEDERS. I’ve gone bananas over your gift. My new little pal and I are real swingers. Love, Jim.”
“WOOD BUTCHER : T WO years have gone by in a minute. I’ve got love enough for hours. Augusta.”
“CONCORD AREA WOMEN looking for two articulate, radicalized women to vent anger with us. Call Claudia.”
“ANDROGYNOUS MAN, age 27, in open marriage, would like to meet female counterpart to share quality relationship. Interests include vegetarian dining, Judy Collins, solar energy, nonsmoking, intimacy, travel.”
“FARMER. Shy, nice looking. Would like to meet serious woman into organic gardening and holistic medicine.”
These men are a bunch of losers. Wayne feels he has much more to offer. He imagines what he would write, “INSATIABLE LOVER in search of same, THEY CALL ME CRAZY. Give me a call, SINGLE MAN. Not into travel.”
Seriously. What does he have to lose? “Hey, Charles,” he says. “Can I have an envelope and a stamp?”
Ann wakes up feeling better than usual. She will have just half a grapefruit for breakfast this morning and she will not turn on the Phil Donahue show. She
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