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Authors: Diane Fanning
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into a sight that sickened her. She saw her 15-year-old daughter engaged in sexual intercourse with her husbandâthe girlâs stepfather.
Judy was stunned and terrified. Jack threatened to kill her if she told anyone. He was a violent man who had hit and knocked around her and the children for years. She believed he was capable of carrying through on his threat. âAt first,â she said, âI kept my mouth shut. Then, I told a policeman and he took me to a lawyer.â
Even though the inappropriate sexual behavior was going on in her own home for quite some time, Judy claimed she was blind to it. Others argued that claim was a self-protective lieâJudy had known what Jack was doing for years; she simply placed her own well-being over that of her daughter.
Whether her denial of the abuse was subconscious or a deliberate act, when Judy saw it right before her eyes, shecould avoid the truth no longer. She confronted Jack, who did not deny it, but still did not express a shred of remorse.
âYou canât rape the willing,â he said. It was the despicable but typical response of sexual child abusers everywhere. Itâs heard with sickening frequency on todayâs newsâfrom the mouths of men like Jack and from female middle school teachers caught in sexual activity with their young adolescent students.
When Judy filed for divorce, Jack claimed in court that his estranged wife made the whole story up to get custody of their children. Judy took Lisa to counseling, but her daughter insisted that she never had sex with her stepfather. Judy had seen it with her own eyes. She knew her daughter was lying.
Lisa confided to others that she denied the abuse for one reason: Jack warned her that if she told anyone about their sexual encounters, he would go after Patty and do the same thing to her. Lisa said she kept her mouth shut to protect her younger sister.
In the summer of 1984, Judy was out on her own againâthis time with five children to support and nurture. Jack was failing to make child support proponents and was jailed twice for it. Although the family was now on welfare, Judy said she tried to add an element of fun to their family life with inexpensive excursionsâoutings at the lake, fishing trips and driving out for ice cream.
Others painted a darker portrait of growing up with Judy. They said she never left one man unless she had another waiting in the wings, and that her children were always secondary to her pursuit of serial monogamy.
Early in 1986, Judy married again. Her third husband was Richard Boman. Richardâs children were grown, but his son Carl returned home after a stint in the Navy. The 25-year-old Carl was intrigued by the bright 18-year-old girl now living in his fatherâs house. He expressed his interest to Lisa and the two started dating.
Lisa graduated from high school in the spring of that year. She planned to join the Air Force to get money for college.Then she learned she was pregnant. Her plans for furthering her education were abandoned. She and Carl married in August 1986, in Cleveland, Oklahoma.
Lisa was not the only child impacted by the tumultuous life with Judy and a series of stepfathers. Every one of Judyâs children had a run-in with the law. Except for Lisa, all of them experimented to some extent with illegal drugs. For some reason, Lisa never attempted to escape from the realities of her life with an artificial high. Patty now claimed she was the only one of Judyâs children to never spend a night in jail.
Judy did not provide them with a good template for healthy relationships, and that was demonstrated in the way they interacted with each other. They were fierce in the defense of a sibling when anyone outside the family launched an attack. Within their circle, however, they were ruthless. They never hesitated to step on one of their own in a series of never-ending power plays.
Each of the kids had reasons for resenting
Judy was stunned and terrified. Jack threatened to kill her if she told anyone. He was a violent man who had hit and knocked around her and the children for years. She believed he was capable of carrying through on his threat. âAt first,â she said, âI kept my mouth shut. Then, I told a policeman and he took me to a lawyer.â
Even though the inappropriate sexual behavior was going on in her own home for quite some time, Judy claimed she was blind to it. Others argued that claim was a self-protective lieâJudy had known what Jack was doing for years; she simply placed her own well-being over that of her daughter.
Whether her denial of the abuse was subconscious or a deliberate act, when Judy saw it right before her eyes, shecould avoid the truth no longer. She confronted Jack, who did not deny it, but still did not express a shred of remorse.
âYou canât rape the willing,â he said. It was the despicable but typical response of sexual child abusers everywhere. Itâs heard with sickening frequency on todayâs newsâfrom the mouths of men like Jack and from female middle school teachers caught in sexual activity with their young adolescent students.
When Judy filed for divorce, Jack claimed in court that his estranged wife made the whole story up to get custody of their children. Judy took Lisa to counseling, but her daughter insisted that she never had sex with her stepfather. Judy had seen it with her own eyes. She knew her daughter was lying.
Lisa confided to others that she denied the abuse for one reason: Jack warned her that if she told anyone about their sexual encounters, he would go after Patty and do the same thing to her. Lisa said she kept her mouth shut to protect her younger sister.
In the summer of 1984, Judy was out on her own againâthis time with five children to support and nurture. Jack was failing to make child support proponents and was jailed twice for it. Although the family was now on welfare, Judy said she tried to add an element of fun to their family life with inexpensive excursionsâoutings at the lake, fishing trips and driving out for ice cream.
Others painted a darker portrait of growing up with Judy. They said she never left one man unless she had another waiting in the wings, and that her children were always secondary to her pursuit of serial monogamy.
Early in 1986, Judy married again. Her third husband was Richard Boman. Richardâs children were grown, but his son Carl returned home after a stint in the Navy. The 25-year-old Carl was intrigued by the bright 18-year-old girl now living in his fatherâs house. He expressed his interest to Lisa and the two started dating.
Lisa graduated from high school in the spring of that year. She planned to join the Air Force to get money for college.Then she learned she was pregnant. Her plans for furthering her education were abandoned. She and Carl married in August 1986, in Cleveland, Oklahoma.
Lisa was not the only child impacted by the tumultuous life with Judy and a series of stepfathers. Every one of Judyâs children had a run-in with the law. Except for Lisa, all of them experimented to some extent with illegal drugs. For some reason, Lisa never attempted to escape from the realities of her life with an artificial high. Patty now claimed she was the only one of Judyâs children to never spend a night in jail.
Judy did not provide them with a good template for healthy relationships, and that was demonstrated in the way they interacted with each other. They were fierce in the defense of a sibling when anyone outside the family launched an attack. Within their circle, however, they were ruthless. They never hesitated to step on one of their own in a series of never-ending power plays.
Each of the kids had reasons for resenting
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