some of my father wounds?”
I decided instead to answer his question with a question of my own, so I asked Al what he meant.
He got quiet for a few seconds and probably scratched his beard thoughtfully, because that’s what therapists in movies are always doing. Then he said, “Well, I’ve asked thousands of people that question over the years, and I’ve learned something: no one has a positive internal voice. No one’s internal voice tells them, ‘You’re skinny enough. You sure are pretty. People are going to love that new project you’re working on. It’s going to be a huge success.’ Which makes me curious about what your voices are telling you.
“Most of us tend to think they’re telling us the truth. We’ve heard them for so long that we trust them. We think they’re looking out for us, that they’ve got our best in mind. That they’re trying to protect us or help us. We think our voices are friends, but they’re not. They’re foes.”
I walked out that afternoon without an answer. I drove home thinking about that question, “What do my voices tell me?”
For weeks, the question haunted me. I didn’t write any emo poetry about it or tattoo it in tribal font on my wrist, but it stayed with me.
In order to shake it, I decided to do something really simple. I decided to write down the messages of my voices. I wasn’t going to go on a vision quest or fight a she-bear, but I could at least listen for the voices and write them down if I had any.
The first one I heard was pretty obvious.
For years and years, every morning I’ve heard the same question in my head and my heart. One of my voices always asks, “Are you happy enough?” It’s a small question, but the conversation it causes is anything but small.
Voice: Are you happy enough?
Me: I’m pretty happy. I’m not happy all the time. I mean, sometimes I’m sad.
Voice: Whoa! You’re not happy all the time? You’re working your dream job right now. You write and speak for a living. You work for Dave Ramsey! If you’re not happy all the time right now, I don’t know if you’ll ever be happy.
Me: Yikes! That kind of makes me unhappy just thinking about it. What should I do to fix that?
Voice: Maybe there’s something you can do perfectly today that will make you perfectly happy.
Me: Good idea. Which thing?
Voice: Hard to say. Better play it safe and just do everything perfectly today.
Me: I have to be perfect all day? That’s a lot of pressure. That kind of makes me unhappy.
Spin, spin, spin.
Before I know it, my best creativity, best time, and best energy have been commandeered by this voice. And it’s not the only voice. There are many I hear throughout the days and weeks of my journey.
They are the voices of fear and doubt, and they are governed by a simple truth: they only get loud when you do work that matters. Want to stay on the road to average? Want to rock vanilla right to the grave? Okay, fear and doubt will leave you alone.
However, with the very first step you take on the road of awesome, fear and doubt stir from their slumber. The minute the purpose door creaks on its hinges and you push it open, the pointy ears of fear and doubt perk up. Continue on the road to awesome, and fear and doubt begin whispering lies and confusing statements meant to get you back on the average, safe path. But you should know that these voices are not unique. In fact, they convey pretty much the same three messages to every person who dares start down the road to awesome.
1. Who are you to do that?
The second you choose to be more awesome, fear will ask you a question: “Who are you to do that?”
Fear doesn’t care what your particular “that” is. You could be starting a business or quitting a job. You could be writing a book or becoming a nanny. Doesn’t matter to fear. The specifics never do. Regardless of what you want to do or who you are, fear will always see you as wholly unqualified for anything you ever dream or
I decided instead to answer his question with a question of my own, so I asked Al what he meant.
He got quiet for a few seconds and probably scratched his beard thoughtfully, because that’s what therapists in movies are always doing. Then he said, “Well, I’ve asked thousands of people that question over the years, and I’ve learned something: no one has a positive internal voice. No one’s internal voice tells them, ‘You’re skinny enough. You sure are pretty. People are going to love that new project you’re working on. It’s going to be a huge success.’ Which makes me curious about what your voices are telling you.
“Most of us tend to think they’re telling us the truth. We’ve heard them for so long that we trust them. We think they’re looking out for us, that they’ve got our best in mind. That they’re trying to protect us or help us. We think our voices are friends, but they’re not. They’re foes.”
I walked out that afternoon without an answer. I drove home thinking about that question, “What do my voices tell me?”
For weeks, the question haunted me. I didn’t write any emo poetry about it or tattoo it in tribal font on my wrist, but it stayed with me.
In order to shake it, I decided to do something really simple. I decided to write down the messages of my voices. I wasn’t going to go on a vision quest or fight a she-bear, but I could at least listen for the voices and write them down if I had any.
The first one I heard was pretty obvious.
For years and years, every morning I’ve heard the same question in my head and my heart. One of my voices always asks, “Are you happy enough?” It’s a small question, but the conversation it causes is anything but small.
Voice: Are you happy enough?
Me: I’m pretty happy. I’m not happy all the time. I mean, sometimes I’m sad.
Voice: Whoa! You’re not happy all the time? You’re working your dream job right now. You write and speak for a living. You work for Dave Ramsey! If you’re not happy all the time right now, I don’t know if you’ll ever be happy.
Me: Yikes! That kind of makes me unhappy just thinking about it. What should I do to fix that?
Voice: Maybe there’s something you can do perfectly today that will make you perfectly happy.
Me: Good idea. Which thing?
Voice: Hard to say. Better play it safe and just do everything perfectly today.
Me: I have to be perfect all day? That’s a lot of pressure. That kind of makes me unhappy.
Spin, spin, spin.
Before I know it, my best creativity, best time, and best energy have been commandeered by this voice. And it’s not the only voice. There are many I hear throughout the days and weeks of my journey.
They are the voices of fear and doubt, and they are governed by a simple truth: they only get loud when you do work that matters. Want to stay on the road to average? Want to rock vanilla right to the grave? Okay, fear and doubt will leave you alone.
However, with the very first step you take on the road of awesome, fear and doubt stir from their slumber. The minute the purpose door creaks on its hinges and you push it open, the pointy ears of fear and doubt perk up. Continue on the road to awesome, and fear and doubt begin whispering lies and confusing statements meant to get you back on the average, safe path. But you should know that these voices are not unique. In fact, they convey pretty much the same three messages to every person who dares start down the road to awesome.
1. Who are you to do that?
The second you choose to be more awesome, fear will ask you a question: “Who are you to do that?”
Fear doesn’t care what your particular “that” is. You could be starting a business or quitting a job. You could be writing a book or becoming a nanny. Doesn’t matter to fear. The specifics never do. Regardless of what you want to do or who you are, fear will always see you as wholly unqualified for anything you ever dream or
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