Read Online Average Joe and the Extraordinaires by Belart Wright - Free Book Online
Authors: Belart Wright
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“If
I’m an idiot, then you’re a liar.”
Joe
outstretched his arms and grabbed Borland. First by the shoulders, and then he
wrapped his arms around the man’s chest. He had the man wrapped tight.
Borland:
“Get your goddamn hands off me, kid!”
Joe
struggled to contain the angry old bull.
Joe
bellowed, “Not until you show me what you really look like.”
The
bitter old man stopped struggling and started laughing. It creeped Joe out.
Borland:
“Very good. I’ll do as you say.”
Joe:
“Uggh! What the heck is this?”
Inside
the shadowy hall where they stood, Borland’s body started to melt, liquefying
as Joe tried his best to hold on. It felt like putty in Joe’s hand, stretching
and morphing uncomfortably, and thoroughly freaking him out in the process.
The broad shoulders of the man became slender and streamlined. The rest of his
boxy frame followed suit, except for the hips and buttocks, which became
rounder. Joe’s view of the man’s head became obscured by a sea of thick
curls. That delightful aroma that he hadn't smelled in almost a week had
intensified, and the two of them stood there silent for several moments.
Joe: “Is
it over?”
Beauty:
“Yes, and that means you can release your death grip on my breasts. I don’t
think they’ll be attacking you anytime soon.”
Joe instantly
turned a deep shade of red, and only now realized that he had two handfuls of
Beauty. He instantly let go of the woman. Beauty put her hand to her mouth
and let out a laugh.
Beauty:
“You’re so gullible. What if I was a different shape-shifter? What if I
wanted you dead?”
Joe
didn’t want to think about that. Mainly because he didn’t want to think about
there being other shape-shifters out there. Beauty smiled.
Beauty:
“And for the record … you only grabbed me because I let you.”
Joe: “So
you wanted me to grab you like that?”
Beauty:
“No, that was a little improv on your part. I didn’t resist because I thought
it’d be funny. Now, though, we need to focus on getting out of here. I have a
bit more mischief to cause before Borland notices I’ve stolen you.”
She
smiled devilishly.
Joe:
“Stolen me? I don’t think I want to be stolen by you. I don’t have the
stomach for any more of your trouble. I’ve been getting closer and closer to being
killed since I met you, if you hadn’t noticed.”
Beauty continued
smiling and countered.
Beauty:
“You chose to join this circus, if you remember correctly.”
Silence
lingered with those words. Beauty approached Joe solemnly.
Beauty:
“I’m sorry, that’s not quite fair is it, or accurate?”
Joe: “I
don’t want whatever you’re offering. I feel like I’d be worse off with your
help.”
There was
more silence between the two until Beauty’s bright smile signaled its end.
Beauty: “What
if I can prove your innocence?”
Chapter
13
That
Can’t Be Sanitary
Joe: “So
how can we do that?”
That felt
like Joe’s twentieth time asking that. Beauty had been ignoring his questions
for the last few minutes now and it was really annoying him. Despite that, he
continued to follow her. Where she was going, he did not know. The sun overhead
was now setting.
Joe: “And
how did you get out of the stadium?”
Beauty:
“Quiet yourself and hurry up. I honestly can’t believe you’re as oblivious as
you are. Your lack of remarkability and failures to grasp what’s going on in
your environment may be a skill in and of itself.”
Joe had
nothing to say to that and couldn’t blame the woman for sharing it. She was
just telling the truth and he knew it. All his life he’d wanted to be a
bigshot, wanted to be phenomenal at … something, he didn’t know what. He had
made the unfortunate discovery, over time, that he however was nothing if not
average or below.
Beauty:
“You had to have noticed that you’ve been getting funny looks all morning
I’m an idiot, then you’re a liar.”
Joe
outstretched his arms and grabbed Borland. First by the shoulders, and then he
wrapped his arms around the man’s chest. He had the man wrapped tight.
Borland:
“Get your goddamn hands off me, kid!”
Joe
struggled to contain the angry old bull.
Joe
bellowed, “Not until you show me what you really look like.”
The
bitter old man stopped struggling and started laughing. It creeped Joe out.
Borland:
“Very good. I’ll do as you say.”
Joe:
“Uggh! What the heck is this?”
Inside
the shadowy hall where they stood, Borland’s body started to melt, liquefying
as Joe tried his best to hold on. It felt like putty in Joe’s hand, stretching
and morphing uncomfortably, and thoroughly freaking him out in the process.
The broad shoulders of the man became slender and streamlined. The rest of his
boxy frame followed suit, except for the hips and buttocks, which became
rounder. Joe’s view of the man’s head became obscured by a sea of thick
curls. That delightful aroma that he hadn't smelled in almost a week had
intensified, and the two of them stood there silent for several moments.
Joe: “Is
it over?”
Beauty:
“Yes, and that means you can release your death grip on my breasts. I don’t
think they’ll be attacking you anytime soon.”
Joe instantly
turned a deep shade of red, and only now realized that he had two handfuls of
Beauty. He instantly let go of the woman. Beauty put her hand to her mouth
and let out a laugh.
Beauty:
“You’re so gullible. What if I was a different shape-shifter? What if I
wanted you dead?”
Joe
didn’t want to think about that. Mainly because he didn’t want to think about
there being other shape-shifters out there. Beauty smiled.
Beauty:
“And for the record … you only grabbed me because I let you.”
Joe: “So
you wanted me to grab you like that?”
Beauty:
“No, that was a little improv on your part. I didn’t resist because I thought
it’d be funny. Now, though, we need to focus on getting out of here. I have a
bit more mischief to cause before Borland notices I’ve stolen you.”
She
smiled devilishly.
Joe:
“Stolen me? I don’t think I want to be stolen by you. I don’t have the
stomach for any more of your trouble. I’ve been getting closer and closer to being
killed since I met you, if you hadn’t noticed.”
Beauty continued
smiling and countered.
Beauty:
“You chose to join this circus, if you remember correctly.”
Silence
lingered with those words. Beauty approached Joe solemnly.
Beauty:
“I’m sorry, that’s not quite fair is it, or accurate?”
Joe: “I
don’t want whatever you’re offering. I feel like I’d be worse off with your
help.”
There was
more silence between the two until Beauty’s bright smile signaled its end.
Beauty: “What
if I can prove your innocence?”
Chapter
13
That
Can’t Be Sanitary
Joe: “So
how can we do that?”
That felt
like Joe’s twentieth time asking that. Beauty had been ignoring his questions
for the last few minutes now and it was really annoying him. Despite that, he
continued to follow her. Where she was going, he did not know. The sun overhead
was now setting.
Joe: “And
how did you get out of the stadium?”
Beauty:
“Quiet yourself and hurry up. I honestly can’t believe you’re as oblivious as
you are. Your lack of remarkability and failures to grasp what’s going on in
your environment may be a skill in and of itself.”
Joe had
nothing to say to that and couldn’t blame the woman for sharing it. She was
just telling the truth and he knew it. All his life he’d wanted to be a
bigshot, wanted to be phenomenal at … something, he didn’t know what. He had
made the unfortunate discovery, over time, that he however was nothing if not
average or below.
Beauty:
“You had to have noticed that you’ve been getting funny looks all morning
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