that same battered old Merc of his!
The 1996 season started well enough for me and my teammate, Kristian Kolby from Denmark. I won the second race of the series at Brands Hatch and led the championship for a while, then had a run of absolute rubbish results. I spun out of the lead at Oulton Park; I threw Thruxton away because I was way out in front and cruising and thinking about other things rather than concentrating on the race, and all in front of Alan Docking, an expatriate Australian who enjoyed a very big reputation as a successful team owner. Docko, who was eyeing me up for F3 the nextyear, went ballistic at me. He was a patriotic, passionate Aussie who knew I had thrown an easy win away. I couldn’t afford to make those mistakes.
I decided then that I wanted to go home. I was homesick; I wasn’t sure what I was doing so far away from my family and friends. Was it all worth it? Was I missing out on what was happening back home? I figured I’d head back Down Under for two or three weeks and have a break, but as soon as I arrived in Australia I saw that everyone was still doing exactly the same thing, nothing had changed. Within two or three days I realised that I was kidding myself; I’d been given a tremendous opportunity over in England and I needed to get my arse back over there again and take that opportunity seriously.
It’s hard to explain just how tough leaving Australia had been, how difficult it was to raise the cash to fly home – always economy, always exhausting. But we were determined to make this work. As Mick Doohan had said to me, it’s a long way to go home with your tail between your legs.
Back in England, Ann and I moved house to Aylesbury in Buckinghamshire, on the edge of motor sport’s equivalent of Silicon Valley. We had started out as teammates and friends on a mission but over time our friendship had deepened into something else. I enjoyed spending time with her and we felt entirely comfortable in each other’s company. Moving to England was a huge step for me and I think it was a case of us needing one another and that’s how the relationship was formed. I had a lot of trust in her as she was in my corner from day one. She fought so hard for me and it was amazing to have a great companion who shared my passion for motor sport. From the beginning, Ann was the only oneon my level (my dad to a lesser degree) who believed that my dream to race in F1 could happen. When you’re sharing that kind of belief with someone, that person lifts you.
In the beginning, Ann and I decided to keep our relationship quiet because in a professional sense it wasn’t going to help my cause if Ann was seen to be extolling the virtues/talents of her boyfriend to heavy-hitters and decision-makers. We didn’t want to risk not being taken seriously, so we always believed it was better for Ann to be seen negotiating as an independent third party. Over the first few years some people may have had their suspicions but certainly up until my first year in F1, we kept the relationship pretty much under wraps.
Being in a relationship with Ann, there was also her son, Luke, to consider. I had spent a lot of time with Luke back in Australia and by the time we were all living together in England, I was already like a big brother to him. To be honest, he was on the sidelines for me in the early days in the UK. He was too young to take to race weekends and I was so focused on what I was trying to do. That’s why, later on in my career, I liked to involve him in some of the opportunities that came my way. I wasn’t a hero to him, though: of course he liked seeing me do well, but he enjoyed other sports more, especially soccer and cricket, and he had his own heroes up on pedestals.
Living in Aylesbury also put me within shouting distance of Silverstone and Alan Docking Racing, even though I was nowhere near close to finalising a deal with him for 1997.
Once I got my head together I had a strong finish to the 1996
The 1996 season started well enough for me and my teammate, Kristian Kolby from Denmark. I won the second race of the series at Brands Hatch and led the championship for a while, then had a run of absolute rubbish results. I spun out of the lead at Oulton Park; I threw Thruxton away because I was way out in front and cruising and thinking about other things rather than concentrating on the race, and all in front of Alan Docking, an expatriate Australian who enjoyed a very big reputation as a successful team owner. Docko, who was eyeing me up for F3 the nextyear, went ballistic at me. He was a patriotic, passionate Aussie who knew I had thrown an easy win away. I couldn’t afford to make those mistakes.
I decided then that I wanted to go home. I was homesick; I wasn’t sure what I was doing so far away from my family and friends. Was it all worth it? Was I missing out on what was happening back home? I figured I’d head back Down Under for two or three weeks and have a break, but as soon as I arrived in Australia I saw that everyone was still doing exactly the same thing, nothing had changed. Within two or three days I realised that I was kidding myself; I’d been given a tremendous opportunity over in England and I needed to get my arse back over there again and take that opportunity seriously.
It’s hard to explain just how tough leaving Australia had been, how difficult it was to raise the cash to fly home – always economy, always exhausting. But we were determined to make this work. As Mick Doohan had said to me, it’s a long way to go home with your tail between your legs.
Back in England, Ann and I moved house to Aylesbury in Buckinghamshire, on the edge of motor sport’s equivalent of Silicon Valley. We had started out as teammates and friends on a mission but over time our friendship had deepened into something else. I enjoyed spending time with her and we felt entirely comfortable in each other’s company. Moving to England was a huge step for me and I think it was a case of us needing one another and that’s how the relationship was formed. I had a lot of trust in her as she was in my corner from day one. She fought so hard for me and it was amazing to have a great companion who shared my passion for motor sport. From the beginning, Ann was the only oneon my level (my dad to a lesser degree) who believed that my dream to race in F1 could happen. When you’re sharing that kind of belief with someone, that person lifts you.
In the beginning, Ann and I decided to keep our relationship quiet because in a professional sense it wasn’t going to help my cause if Ann was seen to be extolling the virtues/talents of her boyfriend to heavy-hitters and decision-makers. We didn’t want to risk not being taken seriously, so we always believed it was better for Ann to be seen negotiating as an independent third party. Over the first few years some people may have had their suspicions but certainly up until my first year in F1, we kept the relationship pretty much under wraps.
Being in a relationship with Ann, there was also her son, Luke, to consider. I had spent a lot of time with Luke back in Australia and by the time we were all living together in England, I was already like a big brother to him. To be honest, he was on the sidelines for me in the early days in the UK. He was too young to take to race weekends and I was so focused on what I was trying to do. That’s why, later on in my career, I liked to involve him in some of the opportunities that came my way. I wasn’t a hero to him, though: of course he liked seeing me do well, but he enjoyed other sports more, especially soccer and cricket, and he had his own heroes up on pedestals.
Living in Aylesbury also put me within shouting distance of Silverstone and Alan Docking Racing, even though I was nowhere near close to finalising a deal with him for 1997.
Once I got my head together I had a strong finish to the 1996
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