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Authors: Arlene Chance
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bringing it up. I told her I would help you this time, he explained.
You dont have to, I said quickly.
I know I dont have to, I want to. Will you just stop fighting me and let me help you? He was starting to sound exasperated, so once again I gave in.
He gently unwound the wet wrappings and applied fresh salve to the wound, which was not healing quite as quickly as the doctors had hoped. They said my lungs 64
Bleeding Hearts
were doing great, however.
Arms up, he said, and began to wrap the new bandages around me. He sat to one side of me, which meant he had to wrap his arms around me each time around.
He seemed to be going much slower than was absolutely necessary. I tried not enjoy the closeness of his body too much. After all, he was still strictly off limits.
You shouldnt be so nervous about your body, Kill,
he said softly into my ear making me jump.
Wh-wh-what? I stuttered.
I could tell you felt weird about me seeing you without a shirt, he said, Its no big deal. Ive seen you before like when we go swimming and stuff.
Im not nervous, I argued, then after a few seconds,
Its just that youre so much more built than I am.
So? Who cares? Youre fine. There, all finished. He stepped back to admire his handiwork, then grabbed my shirt and helped me into it. After handing me back my glasses, he picked up the sweats. He stood there with them for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. He looked so awkward; it was all I could do not to start laughing.
I think I can manage those on my own, I told him, trying not to smile, But thanks for all the help, Ash.
Youre welcome, Killian. He paused for a second,
I have to go now, but I want you to know that Im really sorry I havent been a better friend. I promise Im gonna do better from now on. Then he totally shocked me by leaning in and kissing me on the cheek.
I was speechless, which Asher used to his advantage to quickly slip out of my room. He paused in the doorway on his way out and called over his shoulder, Ill be back tomorrow.
I didnt know what to think about Ashers sudden about-face. It seemed like he was honestly making an effort to be a real friend, but I was a little skeptical. He 65
JOSH ATEROVIS
said hed had a big fight with Zack and Jesse, over me no less, but what if he was really just spying on me? I wouldnt put it past them. Kind of a lets see what Killian-the-fag is up to. But it felt like Asher was sincere to me. And what was up with that kiss? He wouldnt have thrown that in just to be convincing, would he? I wouldnt even allow myself to think that he might be gay.
Thinking about being gay reminded me about Mom.
Now she knew that I was gay, too, and she still loved me anyway. I felt so good knowing that. The earlier thoughts of killing myself seemed so far away. But what about Dad? He couldnt find out.
Suddenly I was tired. All this conjecture, combined with my very emotional roller-coaster ride of a day, had worn me out. I didnt have enough energy to tackle the stairs again, so I crawled up on my bed. Ill just take a short nap, I thought.
66
Bleeding Hearts
CHAPTER SIX
I had a vague impression that someone looked in on me at some point, but the next time I awoke, the sun was streaming brightly through the windows in my room. I had slept all night and it seemed the storm had passed. I looked at the clock and gasped. It was almost 11 AM. I must have been more worn out than I had thought.
I sat up and winced at the pain. I fought my way to my feet and almost fell back onto my bed. Asher was sitting on my floor, reading a book. He was wearing jeans and a white Billabong sweatshirt that made him look paler than usual. His curly dark brown hair shone in the sunlight that fell across him like a spotlight. He looked like an angel sitting there. He looked up at me and smiled.
Good morning, Sleeping Beauty, he said.
Howd you get in
You dont have to, I said quickly.
I know I dont have to, I want to. Will you just stop fighting me and let me help you? He was starting to sound exasperated, so once again I gave in.
He gently unwound the wet wrappings and applied fresh salve to the wound, which was not healing quite as quickly as the doctors had hoped. They said my lungs 64
Bleeding Hearts
were doing great, however.
Arms up, he said, and began to wrap the new bandages around me. He sat to one side of me, which meant he had to wrap his arms around me each time around.
He seemed to be going much slower than was absolutely necessary. I tried not enjoy the closeness of his body too much. After all, he was still strictly off limits.
You shouldnt be so nervous about your body, Kill,
he said softly into my ear making me jump.
Wh-wh-what? I stuttered.
I could tell you felt weird about me seeing you without a shirt, he said, Its no big deal. Ive seen you before like when we go swimming and stuff.
Im not nervous, I argued, then after a few seconds,
Its just that youre so much more built than I am.
So? Who cares? Youre fine. There, all finished. He stepped back to admire his handiwork, then grabbed my shirt and helped me into it. After handing me back my glasses, he picked up the sweats. He stood there with them for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. He looked so awkward; it was all I could do not to start laughing.
I think I can manage those on my own, I told him, trying not to smile, But thanks for all the help, Ash.
Youre welcome, Killian. He paused for a second,
I have to go now, but I want you to know that Im really sorry I havent been a better friend. I promise Im gonna do better from now on. Then he totally shocked me by leaning in and kissing me on the cheek.
I was speechless, which Asher used to his advantage to quickly slip out of my room. He paused in the doorway on his way out and called over his shoulder, Ill be back tomorrow.
I didnt know what to think about Ashers sudden about-face. It seemed like he was honestly making an effort to be a real friend, but I was a little skeptical. He 65
JOSH ATEROVIS
said hed had a big fight with Zack and Jesse, over me no less, but what if he was really just spying on me? I wouldnt put it past them. Kind of a lets see what Killian-the-fag is up to. But it felt like Asher was sincere to me. And what was up with that kiss? He wouldnt have thrown that in just to be convincing, would he? I wouldnt even allow myself to think that he might be gay.
Thinking about being gay reminded me about Mom.
Now she knew that I was gay, too, and she still loved me anyway. I felt so good knowing that. The earlier thoughts of killing myself seemed so far away. But what about Dad? He couldnt find out.
Suddenly I was tired. All this conjecture, combined with my very emotional roller-coaster ride of a day, had worn me out. I didnt have enough energy to tackle the stairs again, so I crawled up on my bed. Ill just take a short nap, I thought.
66
Bleeding Hearts
CHAPTER SIX
I had a vague impression that someone looked in on me at some point, but the next time I awoke, the sun was streaming brightly through the windows in my room. I had slept all night and it seemed the storm had passed. I looked at the clock and gasped. It was almost 11 AM. I must have been more worn out than I had thought.
I sat up and winced at the pain. I fought my way to my feet and almost fell back onto my bed. Asher was sitting on my floor, reading a book. He was wearing jeans and a white Billabong sweatshirt that made him look paler than usual. His curly dark brown hair shone in the sunlight that fell across him like a spotlight. He looked like an angel sitting there. He looked up at me and smiled.
Good morning, Sleeping Beauty, he said.
Howd you get in
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