Read Online Asperger's and Girls by Mary Wrobel, Lisa Iland, Jennifer McIlwee Myers, Ruth Snyder, Sheila Wagner, Tony Attwood, Catherine Faherty, Temple Grandin - Free Book Online

minutes than a conversation with new information or a new story. A girl with AS can decide with a parent or professional what is appropriate for her age group and topic.
    Sometimes girls with AS may believe that they are Friends or Close Friends with a Familiar Face or an Acquaintance. This can cause social upset and potential humiliation in front of peers. In order to be socially successful, a girl with AS needs to practice taking perspective, and although Theory of Mind makes this difficult, she will have to practice imagining what the other person thinks of her, possibly using visible data from her interactions with that person if the idea is not concrete enough. She might even list all of the people she knows and the interactions she has had with them, or a yes/no checklist.
    When you say “hi” does she/he say “hi” back? Yes No
    Do you see her/him only at school? Yes No
    Do you eat and hang out together at lunchtime? Yes No
    Does she/he call you on the phone at home? Yes No
    Are you in a club or team with her/him, but only hang out then? Yes No
    Does she/he invite you to hang out on weekends? Yes No
    She needs to distinguish between interactions initiated by her, and interactions the peer initiated. Would a peer spontaneously say “hi” in passing down the hallway if she didn’t always initiate it first?
    Teaching Tool: The Sims
    A tool that may be helpful in explaining this concept to a girl with AS is a computer game called The Sims . In the latest version of this reality-type computer game, this concept is represented visually. Levels of Relationship between the characters in colors ranging from dark green (Close Friend) to yellow (Acquaintance) to red (Stranger/Familiar Face). When characters make comments or actions that are inappropriate for the level of their relationship, you can see the character lose points with that friend with an exaggerated reaction. You can see other character’s thoughts visually, in thought bubbles. Just as in reality, if enough friendship mistakes are made, a Friend could go back to being an Acquaintance. The game makes abstract concepts like these very visual and literal, using numbers and colors. It is a great tool for explanation, and could be generalized to real life situations.
    Unfriendliness
    It may also be necessary to make a list of people to avoid—bullies or unfriendly people who do unkind things. Sometimes it may be difficult for girls with AS to know when they are being made fun of, or their kindness is not reciprocated. For example, a girl may think that she has a friend because she calls her on the phone, but if that girl never returns her calls and displays avoidance behaviors, she needs to know when to stop before gossip or annoyed anger occurs.
    I asked Kelsey what she thought other girls with AS could do if thinking about the Levels of Relationship was too abstract.
    Kelsey suggested:
When you see familiar faces, it does not mean that you are friends with that person. I used to go up to people I recognized from years ago in elementary school, or a familiar person from a class, and interact with them as if they were a best friend. It was unsuccessful. You have to think, “Was this person nice to you or were they not?” Make a list of nice things that friends do and things that are unfriendly. Only approach people who do nice things.
    Making Friends
    Making a new friend is making more than just a single friend. Girls travel in packs and have a group mentality. Most typical girls have more than one friend, so a girl with Asperger’s needs to be wary of fitting in with the group structure her new friend already belongs to. The easiest friendship to make would be making friends with a girl who does not have any other friendship commitments, but that is a more rare situation.
    Multiple Friends to Befriend
    More often, a girl with AS’s new friend will already belong to an existing social group, a clique that she will have to learn to navigate. Girls are