Read Online ASHFORD (Gray Wolf Security #5) by Glenna Sinclair - Free Book Online Page B

loved when Ash picked him up, though Ash would only touch him when the three of us were alone together. Rose doted on him like any grandmother might, and David occasionally stole him away and cradled him in his arms while he worked at his computers.
    They adored Ford almost as much as Joss’s four-week-old daughter. However, I wasn’t too sure what they thought of me.
    I was building up a little bit of savings with the paychecks Ash sent to my PayPal account every two weeks. I could probably afford a little apartment soon, but I wasn’t in a hurry to move out. And Ash didn’t seem to be in a hurry to see us go. He adored little Ford.
    “Have you discussed birth control with your husband?” the doctor asked, as he finished up his exam. “You’re breastfeeding, so I wouldn’t recommend the pill. But anything else…”
    I hadn’t even thought about it.
    ***
    Ash looked up expectantly when I came out of the office.
    “Everything okay?”
    “He says I’m in good health.”
    “Great.”
    He pressed his hand to the small of my back after he scooped up the baby in his car seat and led the way out to the car. He was always doing little things like that. Touching my back to lead me, holding my hand to offer comfort, brushing pieces of hair from my face so he could see my eyes when we talked. But I didn’t touch him. The one time I did, he brushed me off.
    Ash popped the baby’s seat into its base, a pro at it now, and then handed me my seatbelt.
    “How about some lunch?”
    “You don’t need to get back to the office?”
    “No. Not right now.”
    He was more relaxed these last few days than he’d been after Kirkland was shot. I think the fact that no one else had been hurt made him feel easier about things. But I…I knew it wasn’t over. Far from it. Dimitri was just distracted by something else.
    He took me to an intimate Italian place and ordered water out of respect for the fact that I couldn’t drink. He was always thoughtful that way. I picked at a breadstick, my thoughts bouncing all over the place. The guilt of hiding the truth from him about what was happening to him and his friends was threatening to drive me over an edge. However, the idea of being without his protection for Ford was even worse.
    “You seem distracted,” he said after we’d ordered. “Are you sure the doctor said everything was fine?”
    “I’m sure.”
    The baby fussed. I carefully took him from his seat and cradled him against my shoulder.
    “Do you want to hold him?”
    Ash shook his head, glancing around the room, as if he was afraid someone he knew might see us together. “He’s probably hungry.”
    “He’s always hungry. The pediatrician said that’s normal, but I can’t imagine where he puts it all.”
    “He’s a growing boy,” Ash said, almost prideful.
    This incredible desire rushed right through me, this need for Ash to be Ford’s father. The thought had crossed my mind once or twice—well, really, more than that—but I didn’t let myself indulge it. What was, was. There was nothing I could do to change it. However, Ford so deserved someone better than his biological father. And he deserved more than I had in my own father. He needed a man like Ash, a man who could protect him while, at the same time, teach him how to protect himself. He needed a good, generous man as a father, someone who would love him unconditionally. He needed someone much better than I could ever be, or could ever give him.
    He needed Ash.
    When I looked up again, Ash was watching me.
    “Something’s on your mind.”
    I shook my head, but I was fooled by my own emotions. My eyes welled up with tears. Ash immediately came around the table, pushing me over on the bench with a push of his hip.
    “Talk to me.”
    “What can I say that you don’t already know?”
    He slipped his arm around me and watched over my shoulder as the baby pushed at the blanket I’d put over him as he nursed. Ash was so close my entire body seemed to be