wait to hear if she calls my name again.
She doesnât.
Lillia and Kat have always been able to see me. They believed I was real, that I was seventeen. They were able to see the things Iâd imagined too. But why?
A minute or two later I sneak back out of the classroom. I see Lillia and Kat talking at the end of the hallway. Lilliaâs holding a folder, maroon and embossed with gold foil letters. Boston College. I wonder if sheâs been accepted. Lillia will be gone in a few months. Kat, too. Then I wonât have to hide from them. Thatâs a relief. But it also breaks my heart.
When they leave, there wonât be anyone left who can see me.
Then Iâll truly be gone. Gone for good.
Chapter Thirteen
LILLIA
A FTER SCHOOL A SH AND I ride in her car over to her house to work on our English project. Itâs sort of the worst, being partnered with Ash, because sheâs lazy, but I know sheâd be hurt if I partnered up with someone else. Weâre in her room, supposedly doing research, but whenever I glance over at her computer screen, sheâs looking at gossip blogs.
Iâm cutting and pasting an article to read later, when my phone buzzes. Itâs Reeve. Can I see you tonight?
Oh no. No, no, no. This is exactly what I was afraid of, and itâs my fault. I was weak.
I have to be strong now.
I canât. Iâm studying over at Ashlinâs.
:(
His little sad face makes me want to smile, but I donât let myself go there.
A few minutes later Ashlinâs phone buzzes from across the room. She picks it up and squeals. âDerek and the guys want to come over and hang out,â she says. âOur saunaâs not working, but we could take a hot tub break!â
I bite my lip. Reeve. I could kill him.
âAsh, we canât. This is due on Monday. If the guys come over, you know itâs not going to be a short break. Itâs going to be all night.â And then I pick up my phone and text Reeve.
Not cool.
Ash nods. âYouâre right, I know youâre right. Iâm just having a hard time concentrating.â Plaintively she says, âAre things ever going to feel normal again?â
âI donât know.â And then, because that sounds so depressing, I add, âI hope.â
Ash picks up her phone to text Derek, and I feel bad. I havenât been a good friend to her lately. So I close my laptop and say, âAsh, itâs fine. The guys can stop by. Weâre almost done anyway.â
Ashâs face lights up. âYay!â She jumps up and starts rifling through her bikini drawer. She gasps suddenly and lifts one upfor me to look atâitâs Rennieâs. âRen left this the last time she was over here.â
I remember when she bought it, last summer at the bikini store near Java Jones. Itâs tiny and black, and she loved it because it made her boobs look bigger. âIâIâll just wear one of yours.â
âBut mine wonât fit you,â Ash says, dropping the bikini back into her drawer.
âThen Iâll just dip my feet into the tub.â Iâm not wearing Rennieâs bikini. Itâs too eerie.
âWait!â Ash digs into her drawer again. She holds up a skimpy navy-and-green tie-dyed one with the tags still on. âThe top was way too small for me, but I never got around to returning it. Itâll fit you perfectly.â
Relieved, I quickly undress and put on her bikini. Ash comes around and ties the tie around my back tighter. âIt looks great on you,â she says. âYou can keep it.â
âThanks, Ash.â Ash and I have never been super close. There was always Rennie in between us. She always had to be most loved. And we did love her most. We both knew weâd pick Ren over each other. But Ash is a nice person, and I feel lucky to have her.
After weâre both changed, we put on Uggs and bathrobes and go outside to turn on the hot tub.
Elizabeth Hunter
Gavin Mortimer
Unknown Author
David Bergelson
Kate DiCamillo
Alex Mae
Amanda Bennett
Stephen Hunter
Kim Vogel Sawyer
Kylie Scott