Read Online Are These My Basoomas I See Before Me? by Louise Rennison - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Louise Rennison
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what pants through yonder windows break’? I like that bit—it’s my fave.”
She was, as usual, being Mrs. Fussy Knickers.
“It’s Romeo who says that and it isn’t ‘pants,’ it’s ‘light’…”
“Light, pants, owls…what difference does it make? I can’t stand here discussing pants with you all night. I want to ask you a vair important question.”
“What?”
“Who would you go out with? The Luuurve God or Dave the Laugh?”
“Oh nooooooooooooo, no, no, no and no. I am not answering that. You’ll blame me for choosing the wrong one whichever one I pick, and, anyway, it’s nothing to do with me.”
“Come on, Jazzy, I just want to know. I won’t blame you or anything. I love you.”
“Don’t start that again.”
“Come on, Jas.”
“You promise you don’t mind and you just want me to be honest? From my point of view?”
“Yep, as simple as that.”
“Hmmmm.”
There was a silence.
Apart from what sounded like chewing.
What was she chewing?
I bet it was her fringe.
I said, “Hello, what are you doing? Look, just be spontaneous!!! It’s a simple, harmless question.Who would you choose? There’s no pressure, JUST CHOOSE!!!!”
She said, “Well…Dave the Laugh of course.”
“What? What did you say?”
“Dave the Laugh.”
“But I’m going out with the Luuurve God. You know, the grooviest, most good-looking Pizza-a-gogo dreamboat.”
“I know, but I personally and hypothetically would choose Dave the Laugh.”
“Why?”
“He’s a laugh.”
“Masimo’s a laugh.”
“When?”
“Jas, me and him have LOADS of laughs when we are alone. We are practically laughing the whole time.”
“Well, that’s good. I’m just saying that I have seen you have a laugh with Dave the Laugh, but I haven’t seen you have a laugh with Masimo. He’s not called Masimo the Laugh, is he?”
I said, “Well, I have to go now, Jas. Good-bye.”
“You’ve not got the hump, have you?”
“Of course I have not got the hump, I assure you.”
Why did she say Dave the Laugh?
10:30 p.m.
I can’t get to sleep now.
I know why Jas chose Dave the Laugh. It’s because she’s frightened of doing anything unconventional. She probably thinks that Masimo is not really English.
He isn’t.
11:00 p.m.
If she had parents like mine, she’d probably choose someone a bit different.
11:10 p.m.
Anyway, Dave is the “different” one. You wouldn’t get Masimo doing run run leap.
11:15 p.m.
Or swearing in German.
11:16 p.m.
Or doing mad twisting.
11:24 p.m.
Or nip libbling.
Right, that’s it. I am going to sleep. I am giving my brain an official warning.
I know what, I will distract myself by reading through my part in Rom and Jul . I suppose I will have to learn it sometime.
I may as well get into the mood to be Mercutio.
I will climb into the tights of life.
Right, here we go…
ten minutes later
Crikey. Miss Wilson said that Mercutio was the comedy part. He is supposed to be a laugh, but frankly, he’s what I would call an “unlaugh.” I may have to improvise some comedy moments with fake blood….
When I say “Ay ay a scratch, marry; ’tis enough. Where is my page? Go, villain, fetch a surgeon” after I am stabbed to death, I could make fake blood spurt all over the page and they would be bound to have the ditherspaz and possibly fall off the stage.
Yes, I am beginning to see the possibilities of Billy Shakespeare’s renowned comedy…Zzzzz-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
my tights runneth over
saturday september 24th
I feel much better and excited about seeing the Luuurve God again and impressing him with my sophisticosity.
I feel cool as a cucumber that has been lying around in a fridge reading books on coolness.
phone rang
It was Jas.
“Where shall we meet? Hey, guess what? There’s going to be an international band management type person coming tonight. If the Stiffs go on world tour, would you give up your education to go with
She was, as usual, being Mrs. Fussy Knickers.
“It’s Romeo who says that and it isn’t ‘pants,’ it’s ‘light’…”
“Light, pants, owls…what difference does it make? I can’t stand here discussing pants with you all night. I want to ask you a vair important question.”
“What?”
“Who would you go out with? The Luuurve God or Dave the Laugh?”
“Oh nooooooooooooo, no, no, no and no. I am not answering that. You’ll blame me for choosing the wrong one whichever one I pick, and, anyway, it’s nothing to do with me.”
“Come on, Jazzy, I just want to know. I won’t blame you or anything. I love you.”
“Don’t start that again.”
“Come on, Jas.”
“You promise you don’t mind and you just want me to be honest? From my point of view?”
“Yep, as simple as that.”
“Hmmmm.”
There was a silence.
Apart from what sounded like chewing.
What was she chewing?
I bet it was her fringe.
I said, “Hello, what are you doing? Look, just be spontaneous!!! It’s a simple, harmless question.Who would you choose? There’s no pressure, JUST CHOOSE!!!!”
She said, “Well…Dave the Laugh of course.”
“What? What did you say?”
“Dave the Laugh.”
“But I’m going out with the Luuurve God. You know, the grooviest, most good-looking Pizza-a-gogo dreamboat.”
“I know, but I personally and hypothetically would choose Dave the Laugh.”
“Why?”
“He’s a laugh.”
“Masimo’s a laugh.”
“When?”
“Jas, me and him have LOADS of laughs when we are alone. We are practically laughing the whole time.”
“Well, that’s good. I’m just saying that I have seen you have a laugh with Dave the Laugh, but I haven’t seen you have a laugh with Masimo. He’s not called Masimo the Laugh, is he?”
I said, “Well, I have to go now, Jas. Good-bye.”
“You’ve not got the hump, have you?”
“Of course I have not got the hump, I assure you.”
Why did she say Dave the Laugh?
10:30 p.m.
I can’t get to sleep now.
I know why Jas chose Dave the Laugh. It’s because she’s frightened of doing anything unconventional. She probably thinks that Masimo is not really English.
He isn’t.
11:00 p.m.
If she had parents like mine, she’d probably choose someone a bit different.
11:10 p.m.
Anyway, Dave is the “different” one. You wouldn’t get Masimo doing run run leap.
11:15 p.m.
Or swearing in German.
11:16 p.m.
Or doing mad twisting.
11:24 p.m.
Or nip libbling.
Right, that’s it. I am going to sleep. I am giving my brain an official warning.
I know what, I will distract myself by reading through my part in Rom and Jul . I suppose I will have to learn it sometime.
I may as well get into the mood to be Mercutio.
I will climb into the tights of life.
Right, here we go…
ten minutes later
Crikey. Miss Wilson said that Mercutio was the comedy part. He is supposed to be a laugh, but frankly, he’s what I would call an “unlaugh.” I may have to improvise some comedy moments with fake blood….
When I say “Ay ay a scratch, marry; ’tis enough. Where is my page? Go, villain, fetch a surgeon” after I am stabbed to death, I could make fake blood spurt all over the page and they would be bound to have the ditherspaz and possibly fall off the stage.
Yes, I am beginning to see the possibilities of Billy Shakespeare’s renowned comedy…Zzzzz-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
my tights runneth over
saturday september 24th
I feel much better and excited about seeing the Luuurve God again and impressing him with my sophisticosity.
I feel cool as a cucumber that has been lying around in a fridge reading books on coolness.
phone rang
It was Jas.
“Where shall we meet? Hey, guess what? There’s going to be an international band management type person coming tonight. If the Stiffs go on world tour, would you give up your education to go with
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