Read Online APretenseofLove by Aileen Fish - Free Book Online

the fire and didn’t face
him.
    Ben stood a few feet away. “I am sure you understand the
purpose of my visit. Please hear me out before you reply. It’s become apparent
to me I know nothing of love. I presumed it to only come after many years of
friendship, when all the while it’d begun to grow within me, unnoticed.”
    He raked his fingers through one side of his hair, fighting
to find the words he needed. Trying to calm the burning in his gut. “It
blossomed under your laughter and the way you pick at the hem on your glove
when you are nervous. Your smile when our eyes meet across a crowded room. All
these things have fed and nurtured this creature without my knowing it, and
only when faced with the loss of them I realized the truth.
    “I cannot be happy without you, dearest Jean. May I call you
that now? My life would continue as it has if I had left when you requested,
but my existence would have been in shadow. I wish to come out of the shadows
and bask in the sunshine you bring. Please say you will have me. Say you can
return my love.”
    Jean turned, lifted her gaze to his, but he couldn’t read
her response on her face.
    From the open doorway came the sound of Burton clearing his
throat.
    “Yes, what is it?” Jean asked in a tone more sharp than
normal.
    “Lord Milford wishes to speak with you, miss.”
    Blast and bollocks, could his misery get any worse? The man
had uncanny timing.
    “Ask Mrs. Granderson if he might take coffee with them,
Burton. I shall join them shortly.” She kept her eyes on the doorway, then on
her hands, which she clenched and unclenched. Finally, she faced Ben. “You know
what I am looking for in a husband, and I have been more than clear that I did
not believe that man is you. I admit my fear of being in a loveless
relationship has driven my search. I couldn’t marry a man I felt incapable of
loving me forever.
    “But neither could I marry a man I didn’t love. In these
past few weeks I have learned to recognize my own feelings, to distinguish
between hope and true affection. I was flattered, at first, when you arrived in
London claiming we were still betrothed.” She laughed. “I’m sure I hid it well,
but I did feel some joy that you wanted me. But I wanted nothing of the man I
thought you to be.”
    Fear squeezed his ribs, making breathing impossible. “I
assure you—”
    She held up a hand. “I wronged you with my narrow opinion of
you. I confess it. I placed you in the class of men who produced an heir, then
returned to their clubs and their lightskirts, leaving their families to raise
themselves.”
    “If you—”
    “I am not finished.” She took a single step toward him. Her
voice took on strength. “You have flirted with me shamelessly, in places we
were bound to be overheard. You taunted me with threats of kisses, the likes of
which I might never recover from.”
    Hope burst through the acid smothering it deep inside him.
He moved closer, waiting for the words he needed to hear. “Should I apologize?”
    Her gaze lowered and her cheeks flushed becomingly. “I wish
you wouldn’t. I’d rather you kiss me.”
    “I beg your pardon?”
    “Mr. Tilbury, do not make me beg, even though that was one
of your threats. I wish to know if I can believe everything you tell me. Kiss
me now.”
    Ben closed the small distance remaining and took hold of her
shoulders. Jean’s lower lip quivered, and he fought the desire to nip it. He
needed to go slowly, not frighten her away. Pressing his lips to hers, he
inhaled the gasp that escaped her. His mouth kneaded hers gently, then lifted
and pressed a tiny kiss to the corner of her smile.
    Her arms slid up his sleeves and around his neck as she
lifted herself to him. Hunger woke inside him and he groaned softly. He pulled
her tightly against him, inhaled the scent of spring she always carried. With
her, all things were new again, the gloomy storms of winter a distant memory.
Once more, he captured her lips, claiming them