Read Online Apprehensions and Other Delusions by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro - Free Book Online

“If you want refills, try to order in the next fifteen minutes, okay? We get swamped after five.”
    Fanchon made a point of giving the waitress a two-dollar tip. Then she looked at Naomi. “How about your schedule?”
    “Busy, busy, busy. We’re seeing more faculty—not the top guys, they have their own shrinks—but midlevel. I had a mathematician in the other day, in a real state. He’s so worried about ozone he can’t sleep.”
    “What do you think is causing it?” Fanchon asked, thinking she wasn’t being fair to impose on her friend when so many other demands were being made of her.
    “I don’t know,” said Naomi, taking her second glass of aquavit. “There is a hole in the ozone, and it probably will get bigger, and that will cause problems. He’s right about that. I can’t say anything to dismiss his fear. Some of the others are upset about the world economy, the air quality, the crowding. They’re all real things.” She took a long sip. “I probably shouldn’t drink this stuff, but it’s good.”
    Fanchon picked up the small brandy snifter and held it between her palms, warming it. “Is it any worse than pills?”
    “Depends on whom you’re talking to,” said Naomi. “Well, you’re the historian. What compares to our ecological worries?”
    “People are always afraid of catastrophe. If it isn’t the ozone layer, it’s plague or famine. If it isn’t that, there are barbarians or the Inquisition or Lady Wu.” She lifted the snifter and let the brandy fire her tongue.
    “But what in the past has had the potential to obliterate the whole planet? Aside from nuclear war. That was what I heard five years ago.” She looked away toward the frosted windows and the autumn afternoon beyond. “You ever stop to think how any people in this town are in the destruction business? The guys in math and physics are calculating the end of the world every day. They come to me with horrible things on their minds, and they can’t talk about them. I tell you, Fanchon, there are times I think it’s easier to go crazy.”
    “Better than become impervious to it all, I guess,” said Fanchon.
    “I guess,” echoed Naomi. She glanced at the door as a group of men came in. “Ah, the sociologists have arrived.”
    “Is that good?” asked Fanchon, noticing how animated Naomi had become.
    “Well, Bill’s with them.” Her blush was very out of character and Fanchon could not resist mentioning it.
    “What’s special about Bill?” Now she felt like an intruder, a duenna at an assignation.
    “I’ll let you know when I’m sure.” She waved. “There he is: tall, moustache, tweed jacket, jeans.”
    “Well, that describes most of them,” said Fanchon, taking the rest of her brandy in a single gulp.
    “Red-brown hair going grey. It looks a little like cinnamon and sugar on toast.” Her laughter was self-conscious. She snuggled more deeply into the love seat. “He’s spotted me. I’ll introduce you.”
    “Thanks,” said Fanchon, not at all certain what she meant. “I hope things work out the way you want.”
    “Yeah.” Naomi laughed uncertainly. “It’s not always easy to figure out what that is, you know?”
    “Oh, yeah,” said Fanchon. “If you ever learn the trick, you teach it to me.”
    Naomi drained her aquavit. “Well, that’s my limit.” She frowned. “You want another?”
    Ordinarily Fanchon would have refused, but this time she decided she might as well have another. Perhaps more brandy and coffee would warm her up, for she was still very chilly. “Sure. Why not.” Impulsively she reached for her purse. “I’ll buy. We’ll celebrate something—things working out for you, me getting some peace and quiet—something.”
    “You don’t have to,” said Naomi.
    “Let me,” said Fanchon.
    Naomi considered it and accepted with a quick nod. “God, it is a world of despair sometimes, isn’t it?”
    “General malaise?” Fanchon suggested. “It comes with fall, or the new