Read Online Apocalypsis 02 - Warpaint by Elle Casey - Free Book Online

But don’t say later that I didn’t warn you.”
    “I’m going to.”
    “I won’t listen.”
    “I’ll make you.”
    “I’ll titty twist you.”
    I covered my boobs. “Stay away from my lovely lady lumps.”
    Peter laughed. “Please. They’re more like mosquito bites than lumps.”
    I looked at him, exaggeratedly appalled. “How dare you insult my lady lumps, in the back and in the front.”
    “No one said anything about your lumps in the back. You actually have lumps in the back. Not so much in the front, though.”
    I removed my hands and looked down. “You may have a point. I’ve lost a lot of weight.”
    Peter shoved me gently before standing up. “Don’t worry about it. Hooters would just get in the way out here.”
    “Yeah,” I said, still examining my lack of lady lumpage. “They get sweaty, you know. This means I have less sweat.”
    “And we all know you could use less of that,” said Peter, giggling from the pantry area.
    “Are you organizing cans again, Mr. OCD?”
    “Of course.”
    I sighed. It was almost scary to think we were getting into a routine here. I wasn’t sure if it made me happy or nervous.
    I turned my thoughts back to Bodo, wondering where he was right now and what he was hiding. I couldn’t think of a single thing, other than former canner activity, that would keep him so shuttered off from us. But I was determined to find out what it was; and if that meant playing indian girl sneaking around in the swamp, I was going to do it.
    I thought of Coli. She was pretty good at it. Maybe she’d give me lessons. I planned to ask her the next time I saw her, which turned out to be at the meeting just a few hours later.
    ***
    The day had flown by. I ended up only doing two training sessions, and while I laid around waiting for a third to come, the sounds of Peter organizing cans and whatnot put me to sleep. I was awakened by the sounds of Peter and Bodo arguing about the drawings that Bodo wanted to put on the poles that supported our hut above the water.
    “No, you are not going to doodle on the house, Bodo. It’s not our house, to begin with, and you have nothing to doodle with. If you have a pen, I need it to put Bryn’s schedule together.”
    “I don’t haff a pen. But I can use udder things. It’s not a problem. I will adapt to da situation. You are gonna like it.”
    Peter sighed loudly. “Fine. Doodle away. I don’t really care. I just don’t want you to upset anyone.”
    “I will ask permission first, don’t you worry. And I am a goot artist, you will see. I’m gonna draw some birds, and I can see dey like da birds. Did you see da tattoos?”
    “Yes, they did seem to have a lot of bird tattoos, you’re right.”
    I got up and joined them, trying to ignore my weird feelings about Bodo. If I were going to sneak around behind him, I was going to have to let him think I had dropped the whole thing. I couldn’t have him on edge or suspicious of me.
    “I think the idea of drawing birds is a good one.”
    “Oh, really? Why? Are you a bird lover?” asked Bodo, sounding surprised and happy.
    Holy mood swing. “Uh, I guess. I mean, they’re pretty. I wouldn’t mind having some fried chicken right now.”
    Bodo frowned at me. “Birds and chickens are different things.”
    “How so?” I asked. “They all have feathers. They’re all edible, aren’t they?”
    “Maybe dat’s true. But dat doesn’t mean you should eat da birds, even dough you can. Just like da people. Just because you can eat dem, it’s still wrong to do it.”
    “Well, that’s because they’re people , not animals,” said Peter.
    “Some birds are more intelligent dan udders, like people. You should not eat da smart birds.”
    “Why?” I asked. He seemed kind of serious about this, which was weird, even considering he and I had sort of had a disagreement. Why get your undies in a bunch over stupid birds?
    “Because smart birds can be your friends. Dey can help you to survive. Dumb birds