Read Online Aphrodite's Workshop for Reluctant Lovers by Marika Cobbold - Free Book Online Page A

What’s-his-name weren’t actually married, there will be no increase in the divorce statistics, and Harmonia points out that, as there were no kids either, the whole thing isn’t a big deal. And I agree with them totally. But there’s always someone, isn’t there? With us that someone is usually Ate.
    Before long she slides up to Mother and says, ‘If only things were so simple.’
    We’ve all got Ate sussed by now and Mother says, in this really clipped voice, ‘What is it you are trying to say, Ate?’
    And Ate says, ‘Maybe you missed it, Aphrodite, but only the other day your mortal, your favoured acolyte, counselled a young woman against love, against marriage.’
    â€˜What are you talking about?’ Mother snaps.
    â€˜Your favourite, Rebecca Finch. A vulnerable young girl comes to her for reassurance and instead she gets a giant bucket of cold water poured over her hopes and dreams. Now that, I think you will agree, is a worry.’
    â€˜Oh just piss off, Ate,’ I tell her. ‘Anyway, you’re not even meant to be up here.’
    For once Mother doesn’t tell me off for using bad language.
    Ate smirks.
    â€˜And you are? So when did you become a member of the mighty twelve? Or have you forgotten: you got demoted.’ She gives Mother a sideways glance. ‘Looks like someone else might be in line for the same treatment, the way things are going.’
    I tell you, if Mother hadn’t been there I would have shoved her off the summit, but as it is I keep my cool.
    â€˜Mother’s invited me,’ I say. ‘Who invited you?’
    â€˜Oh stop it, the two of you,’ Mother cries, ‘or I’ll have you both removed.’
    â€˜What do you mean both of us?
I
am actually trying to help.
I
am your son.’ I state that last bit with more conviction than I actually feel.
    But Mother isn’t listening. Clad in thunder rather than her usual golden aura she paces the floor, muttering to herself.
    â€˜This is most annoying. What is Rebecca Finch thinking of? And she’s not getting on with her new book. No, thiswon’t do, it really won’t. She’s got responsibilities, to her readers, to
me
.’
    Athene seemed totally engrossed in her embroidery but it turns out she’s been listening: she’s really creepy like that, Athene.
    â€˜Maybe your mortal’s seen sense at last?’
    Mother stops pacing.
    â€˜And what is that supposed to mean?’
    â€˜Don’t get exercised, Aphrodite dear,’ Athene says in that reasonable voice which totally freaks me. ‘I’m simply pointing out the possibility that your mortal might have come to realise the grave problems your cult causes.’
    â€˜Problems? Problems? How can that possibly be? How can love ever be a problem, tell me that, eh?’ Mother’s eyes darken from sky-blue to teal but Athene isn’t phased.
    â€˜The kind of love portrayed in those books,’ she says, ‘does nothing but foster impossible expectations and foolish notions, which in turn lead to many of the ills the rest of us have to contend with, such as broken families, social disorder, juvenile delinquency, poverty.’
    â€˜And you blame all that on my mortal? Well, you might as well blame it on me while you’re at it.’
    There is a pause while Athene executes some weird sewing stuff then she looks up at Mother.
    â€˜Well, you said it, dear.’
    And what does Zeus do through all of this? He just sits there stroking his beard and trying to look wise.
    Then Mother appeals to him.
    â€˜And Zeus, does he agree with this … this extraordinary analysis?’ And because you can usually get round the old manwith flattery, however gross, she adds, ‘Does someone as wise, as experienced as Zeus actually agree that
love
is a problem?’
    Zeus strokes his beard some more and then he delivers his bombshell.
    â€˜I do believe that