Read Online Antonia Lively Breaks the Silence by David Samuel Levinson - Free Book Online Page A

apologize,” she said, already leaving the room, eager to be outside, away from this clumsy, thoughtless man.
    Once under the open sky, she started to relax, and finally gave in to the moment—Henry in the cottage, in the study. Then he was at her side, asking, “How much?” At first the question confused her, but then it made her laugh. How much? How much rage did she still have? How much sadness? The amounts were unquantifiable. “What’s the rent?” he asked.
    She knew that if she quoted him an unfair price that she’d look greedy, that if she asked too little she’d look desperate. “Fourteen hundred a month,” she said, at last. “I’d like the first month’s rent and a security deposit up front. It is very convenient to campus, Henry. A ten-minute walk,” she said, to sweeten what, to her, already seemed a sweet deal. He squirreled his hands into the pockets of his khakis and rocked on his heels. It looked to her as if he wanted to clarify something, but he didn’t say a word, which gave her room to add, “We could consider it temporary. Until you find something else, or work on your house is finished, whichever comes first.”
    Thankfully, the throb of music filled the uncomfortable silence, because she wasn’t sure how to continue. There she was with Henry, who’d shown up late for their meeting, and who, as she now realized, must have just come from having sex—he hadn’t been crying, as she’d presumed; he’d merely been flush with the afterglow.
    They walked through the wet heat into the front yard while the moths tapped at the windows and the fireflies lit up in orbits around them.
    â€œFourteen hundred a month? I’m not even sure my desk will fit through the door,” he said.
    â€œYou can use the one that’s already in there,” she said, despairing at her own offer. “You’d have complete privacy, and, well, now Antonia lives right down the block.” She knew she was reaching, overstepping her bounds, that to mention Antonia this way was brazen, but it seemed to her that if he were going to take the cottage, she had to be as clear and open with him as possible. She had to let him know that this secret of his wasn’t as well kept as he’d intended.
    â€œYes, she does,” he said, staring at her. “I don’t know. What happens if after a couple of weeks I don’t like it? What happens if your neighbors decide to throw another party? Then where would I be? I cannot bear noise of any kind these days. I guess that’s how you know you’re getting old: the things you used to tolerate become intolerable.”
    Drunk girls never bothered you before, she thought, but said, “The walls are doubly insulated, so you shouldn’t hear a thing,” remembering Wyatt’s delight at the remarkable quiet once inside. Henry looked at her through the darkness, his eyes seeming to ask, Will I be happy here? She saw this in the sparkle of his iris but also in the dark flash of something else, wondering if he were thinking about that night three years ago when she’d slammed the door in his face. When he finally turned to her, his eyes had emptied of light and purpose and he spoke as if from a great distance.
    â€œI guess that’s it,” he said. Even then, as he took one last look around, she wished she’d had the wherewithal to have mentioned the cottage to Antonia. Yet she hadn’t been thinking about the cottage at the time; instead, she’d been thinking about Henry. “I’ll be in touch,” he added.
    â€œI have someone else who’s very interested,” she said, surprised at the swiftness and boldness of her lie.
    She waited for him to react, but he didn’t. Instead, he searched the darkness again, his eyes looking across at the neighbors’ house and their party.
    â€œDo you need a ride back to the hotel, or did you