apologize,â she said, already leaving the room, eager to be outside, away from this clumsy, thoughtless man.
Once under the open sky, she started to relax, and finally gave in to the momentâHenry in the cottage, in the study. Then he was at her side, asking, âHow much?â At first the question confused her, but then it made her laugh. How much? How much rage did she still have? How much sadness? The amounts were unquantifiable. âWhatâs the rent?â he asked.
She knew that if she quoted him an unfair price that sheâd look greedy, that if she asked too little sheâd look desperate. âFourteen hundred a month,â she said, at last. âIâd like the first monthâs rent and a security deposit up front. It is very convenient to campus, Henry. A ten-minute walk,â she said, to sweeten what, to her, already seemed a sweet deal. He squirreled his hands into the pockets of his khakis and rocked on his heels. It looked to her as if he wanted to clarify something, but he didnât say a word, which gave her room to add, âWe could consider it temporary. Until you find something else, or work on your house is finished, whichever comes first.â
Thankfully, the throb of music filled the uncomfortable silence, because she wasnât sure how to continue. There she was with Henry, whoâd shown up late for their meeting, and who, as she now realized, must have just come from having sexâhe hadnât been crying, as sheâd presumed; heâd merely been flush with the afterglow.
They walked through the wet heat into the front yard while the moths tapped at the windows and the fireflies lit up in orbits around them.
âFourteen hundred a month? Iâm not even sure my desk will fit through the door,â he said.
âYou can use the one thatâs already in there,â she said, despairing at her own offer. âYouâd have complete privacy, and, well, now Antonia lives right down the block.â She knew she was reaching, overstepping her bounds, that to mention Antonia this way was brazen, but it seemed to her that if he were going to take the cottage, she had to be as clear and open with him as possible. She had to let him know that this secret of his wasnât as well kept as heâd intended.
âYes, she does,â he said, staring at her. âI donât know. What happens if after a couple of weeks I donât like it? What happens if your neighbors decide to throw another party? Then where would I be? I cannot bear noise of any kind these days. I guess thatâs how you know youâre getting old: the things you used to tolerate become intolerable.â
Drunk girls never bothered you before, she thought, but said, âThe walls are doubly insulated, so you shouldnât hear a thing,â remembering Wyattâs delight at the remarkable quiet once inside. Henry looked at her through the darkness, his eyes seeming to ask, Will I be happy here? She saw this in the sparkle of his iris but also in the dark flash of something else, wondering if he were thinking about that night three years ago when sheâd slammed the door in his face. When he finally turned to her, his eyes had emptied of light and purpose and he spoke as if from a great distance.
âI guess thatâs it,â he said. Even then, as he took one last look around, she wished sheâd had the wherewithal to have mentioned the cottage to Antonia. Yet she hadnât been thinking about the cottage at the time; instead, sheâd been thinking about Henry. âIâll be in touch,â he added.
âI have someone else whoâs very interested,â she said, surprised at the swiftness and boldness of her lie.
She waited for him to react, but he didnât. Instead, he searched the darkness again, his eyes looking across at the neighborsâ house and their party.
âDo you need a ride back to the hotel, or did you
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