Read Online Angel of Mercy by Lurlene McDaniel - Free Book Online

harshly, Heather. People see death differently in other cultures. In America when a mother loses a child, we prescribe medications, she sees a grief counselor, maybe even a psychiatrist. There’s a complete social service system to help her over her loss. But over here, these mothers can’t afford to fall apart. They must get on with life quickly. Too many things are depending on them—food, care of other children, survival.
    “Does that mean they don’t grieve? Of course not. But in a country where the infant mortality rate is almost fifty percent, mothers have a different perspective on a baby’s death. Some see it almost as a form of rescue from a harsh life.”
    “She shouldn’t have left her,” Heather murmured. “She shouldn’t have.”
    Dr. Henry sighed. “You can’t change what’s happened. Please tell me, will you be able to continue with the work you came here to do? Because if you can’t . . .”
    Could she?
Her lip trembled, but she said, “I can.”
    “Get some rest, then,” Dr. Henry said. “Tomorrow the fight begins all over again. And, Heather, stay away from the fence. We have a system for patients to get into the facility for a reason.”
    Chastised, she nodded. She’d brought this on herself. “Will we have a funeral for her?”
    “In the morning,” Dr. Henry said. “Early.”
    Outside, Ian took her hand. “You haven’t eaten all day. Let’s get you some food.”
    “I can’t eat.”
    “You can’t let yourself get sick over this. It won’t help.”
    “I’ll be all right tomorrow,” Heather said, without meaning it.
    In the distance, she saw the glow of campfires lit by all the people still waiting to be treated. How long had some of them been there? Days? Weeks? How many had babies who wouldn’t make it through the night?
    “The first time I saw a person die, it affected me too, lass. Death is never an easy thing to accept. Doctors are supposed to chase death away. So we always feel defeated when it wins a round.”
    “I should have done something for her,” Heather said quietly. “All afternoon, while I sat there with her, I kept thinking,
Why didn’t I go
get help sooner? Why didn’t I grab the baby and
run for help?
Maybe the doctors could have given her CPR. Maybe they could have gotten her breathing again. If I’d acted faster, maybe we could have saved her.”
    “You heard Dr. Henry say she was too far gone.”
    “He was trying to make me feel better.”
    “Heather, listen to me, you cannot let this defeat you.”
    “You tried to warn me, didn’t you?”
    “Warn you about what?”
    “On the ship, every time we talked about my ‘enthusiasm,’ you tried to tell me that dreams and reality are two different things. You tried to tell me that we can’t save everybody. I feel stupid. And I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.” She thought back to the girl she’d been just a short time ago, when she’d first climbed aboard the Mercy Ship. Naive. Starry-eyed. Confident. So sure that she could make a positive contribution to the world. And today she had been powerless to get one tiny baby to medical help. So much for saving the world.
    “I don’t think you’re stupid. And I think your dreams are good dreams. You cannot see yourself as a failure. We cannot come over here and heal every person who’s ill. Why, we can’t do that even in our own countries. We can only help one person at a time. And then another. And another. You
will
make a difference, Heather Barlow. Just maybe not in the way you once thought.”
    Ian could not take away the shame she felt, but his words had reached inside her and soothed the gnawing pain of self-doubt. She was grateful. “Thank you for being so nice to me.”
    He smiled tenderly. “It’s not a hard thing to do, lass. We have months ahead of us on this trip. We have Uganda next and work there waiting for us. You cannot give up now.”
    Wrapping her arms around herself, Heather drew in a long shuddering breath. “I’m