Read Online ... and Baby Makes Two by Judy Sheehan - Free Book Online

would all shave their heads. They lost. They shaved. Maybe that was why he wore his hair a little longer than corporate America dictated, Jane thought. He liked feeling a bit shaggy.
    â€œHow did my shaved head ruin your play?”
    â€œIt wasn't just you. All the men in Grover's Corner were bald. It was ridiculous. The audience couldn't stop laughing.”
    Jane's brothers were laughing. They remembered too, didn't they? The jerks. Jane knew it was stupid to get mad about something that happened twenty years ago, but did that stop her?
    â€œJane. Don't get mad about something that happened twenty years ago,” said Peter. “Please.”
    â€œEven though it looked like Grover's Corner was next to a nuclear power plant.” And with that, she eased into finding it funny, twenty years later. She tried to remember what Peter looked like without hair, but she only remembered him returning from summers at the beach, with hair as yellow as a Post-it note. If Jane had been a sensible girl, she would have had a crush on Peter in high school. Did he always have those dimples? They left parentheses around his mouth. Why did boys get such impossibly long eyelashes? Jane wondered. That's when she realized she was staring. She needed conversation items, and, hey, she could talk to her new neighbor about so many things, like: “the new Ethiopian restaurant” and how it was doing, or “that amazing store that sells chocolates and eyeglasses” that was doing very well.
    And then Peter brought up “that children's store, the clothing place? They have shirts that cost more than mine, and I buy all of mine at the Barney's warehouse sale, so, hey,
I
can't even afford mine. Why do New York parents spend so much money on stupid things? Can a toddler really appreciate Betsey Johnson's sense of whimsy?”
    There really was no escaping this baby haunting thing, was there? Peter went on to explain that he had overheard two mothers talking about how Betsey's sense of whimsy was conducive to language development. Suckers.
    Jane had no defense for these foolish mothers, and she probably wouldn't have liked them if she met them. Still, she felt compelled to defend them. It wasn't easy.
    â€œI guess, when you have kids, you can get caught up in any effort to help them. They may be suckers, but their motives are basically good.”
    Kevin and Neil pounced on the argument. After loyalty, Irish people love arguments.
Love
them.
    â€œJanie-Painie, you know you're wrong. They're not helping their kids—they're pumping up their own self-image.”
    â€œWe haven't even met these people, but we already know how shallow they are. Good for us.” Jane should have backed down, joked it off, and changed the subject. Instead, she stood her shaky ground. Peter seemed impressed. Jane was misguided, but strong. He had no idea how true that might be.
    â€œAre mealtimes always so lively around here?”
    Neil answered for her. “Janie wouldn't know. She only visits under pain of guilt.”
    Betty shot him the Look. The one that warned him of airing family flaws in front of People. There are People here and they can hear you. Is that what you say around People? I don't think so.
    Neil looked up and around. “Is that the baby? Did you guys hear the baby? I'll go check on her.” Neil had a sixteen-month-old child who never slept for more than two hours at a pop, so Neil deservedsome slack from the family. His wife usually made him get up at night, since she had the child all day. The baby was fast asleep that evening. Right up until Neil went off and—oh, God—woke his sleeping daughter when he shifted her into a more comfortable-looking position. Oops.
    Kevin was older, warmer, friendlier. He sang the melodies, usually, while Neil harmonized above. Kevin had three children, and he insisted that his children all slept through the night within the first week. He and his wife, Kitty, were just