Read Online An Unattractive Vampire by Jim McDoniel - Free Book Online Page B

here?” she called back. The boy appeared, sweaty and disheveled, wearing a dirty apron, and holding a trowel. She didn’t even want to know why. “Watch him,” she instructed and disappeared into her room.
    The vampire glared at the boy and vice versa.
    “So, the shower didn’t work, huh?” said Simon, wiping his hands on his apron.
    “No.” Yulric scowled. “It did not.”
    “I told you,” Simon gloated.
    Yulric refused to acknowledge that with a response, true though it may have been.
    “I don’t suppose you know anything about masonry?” asked Simon.
    The door opened, and Amanda appeared in her hospital scrubs. “Thank you, Simon.”
    “Don’t mention it,” the boy said, taking up his trowel and hopping down the stairs once more.
    “Now you,” she said, turning to Yulric.
    “You will take me—” the vampire began.
    “First of all,”
she spoke over him, “never,
ever
go into my bathroom again.”
    “I don’t—” Yulric protested.
“Never.”
    “You can’t—” he growled.
    “Ever.”
    The vampire snarled, “Or what?”
    “Or . . . I’ll throw out the TV,” she threatened.
    Yulric’s eyes went wide. “You wouldn’t dare.”
    Amanda summoned the caregiver’s ability to bluff. “Try me.”
    Yulric fumed, then, through gritted teeth, answered, “Very well. Now—”
    “Second,” she interrupted him again. The vampire hissed in anger. “Any future conversations we have will be predicated on both parties being fully clothed. Is that understood?”
    Cracks were forming in the vampire’s teeth. “Yes.”
    “Good,” she spat. Taking a deep, calming breath, she continued. “Now, is there something I can do for you?”
    The vampire took some deep, unnecessary breaths. Killing the girl where she stood would not give him what he wanted. And the elaborate tortures that immediately came to mind might put her off cooperating. So, with a tiny bow, he adopted a demeanor previously reserved for the most insufferable of Templars. 15 “Dear lady, I humbly beseech your aid in acquiring an audience with the vampyrs.” He ended with a flourish of his arms and another bow, which he held, looking down at the ground in a grand display.
    “That was overdoing it a bit,” she said.
    “The French never thought so,” Yulric retorted, still with the deceitful charm in his voice.
    Amanda thought long and hard before answering. In the end, though, the ancient creature’s request lined up with her goals exactly: namely, getting him off her back and getting in with the undead. “Fine,” she conceded. “I will take you to see the vampires.”
    Yulric bowed again, even lower.
    “Stop that,” Amanda said, embarrassed at the ostentatious display. He stood with that horrible impish smile still etched on his face. She went to leave, and to her horror, he made a move to go with her.
    “What are you doing?” she asked.
    “You said you would take me to see the vampyrs,” he answered in tones both polite and utterly condescending.
    “Not now!” she exclaimed.
    He bit his tongue. Hard. Black blood dripped down his mouth before he spoke again. “Why not?”
    “I’m busy,” she pushed past him and descended the staircase.
    “Doing what?” he inquired, his politeness was running out, and the anger was rising again.
    “Working,” she shouted back at him.
    “You said—” he began.
    “Look.” She appeared at the bottom of the staircase. “I said I would take you to see the vampires, and I will. When I have time. But now, I don’t. So . . .” She tried to think of something impressive to end with but came up empty. She had to settle for an awkward nod before walking out the door.
    The vampire remained at the top of the stairs. A smile—a real, horrible smile—spread across its lips.
    “Simon!” he called.
    “What?” the boy shouted back from somewhere in the house.
    “What is your sister’s work?” he asked.
    “She’s a nurse,” replied Simon.
    The vampire was fairly