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aspirants poked at me.
    ‘How did he come back? Has he got that human his ideal wife?’ another one questioned.
    ‘Help me understand, teeny-weeny god, what does an ideal wife look like?’ he took a shot knowing the answer very well.
    ‘Let’s ask him, he must surely have a concrete list of the qualities of the Ideal Wife,’ came another slap.
    They rushed at me with their verbal darts from all sides so I ran for cover. While running I was surprised to see that many other gods and god aspirants came out from the narrow by lanes of heaven and joined the chase. It was just like a classic chase from the late 70s Hindi films in which a hapless actress tries to save herself from rapacious wolves.
    My luck ran out in front of a huge wall. I turned back and saw my tormentors charging towards me like bulls at matadors. With no option left, I jumped over the wall. Just then I had no idea that this split-second decision will be the turning point of my career as a god.
    ‘Oh shoot, where the heck has he gone?’ a god aspirant exclaimed seeing me jump over the wall.
    ‘He is dead.’
    ‘Let’s go and tell Bhagwaan Dada about it,’ another god aspirant opined.
    ‘After ages I might get a chance to become a god, I am not going to risk it,’ another aspirant shot down the suggestion.
    ‘Are you crazy? You are yet to become a god, why would I risk my god status?’ A god among the chasing bulls clarified.
    ‘I don’t get it, why would it be problem?’
    ‘Can’t you see Bhagwaan Dada still loves him and we cannot do anything to risk our chances?’
    ‘Yeah, you are right.’
    I couldn’t hear my tormentors clearly on the other side of the wall. After a while the voices vanished, clearly leaving me to my fate. I had no clue then, but they were all bursting with happiness, knowing full well I had literally committed suicide by jumping over this wall.
    Finally heaving a sigh of relief, I looked around and found myself standing in the grounds of the Apsara Mahal. I knew if I got caught here then apart from losing my god status I would also be handed a severe punishment. Before I could think of jumping over the wall to the other side I saw many Apsaras coming towards me so I immediately found a hiding place.
    During the next few hours I tried many times to run out of the Apsara Mahal but every time I had to come back to my hiding place due to one reason or the other. Understanding the gravity of the precarious situation, I decided to hide myself till night spread its darkness.
    It was a long and terribly anxious wait, but I did finally get the opportunity to sneak out. As I was about to move out of the Apsara Mahal, I heard an Apsara cry. I ignored it for the first time and climbed the wall to jump over to the other side but her constant loud weeping pulled at the strings of my do-gooder heart and I had no choice but to abandon all plans of escape and follow the sound.
    I reached a small house, at one end of the Apsara Mahal, which explained that she was someone lower down the order among Apsara hierarchy. I looked inside the house through the open window and found that few goddesses were gathered around a delicate-looking Apsara who was trembling with fear.
    ‘Just because of you we ended up losing the position,’ one of the goddesses thundered.
    ‘Please forgive me,’ the quivering Apsara replied.
    ‘You know what you’ve done? This was our golden chance to beat the gods. We had even planted a mole in their squad yet we ended up losing.’
    ‘Please forgive me, this won’t happen again.’
    ‘Too late my dear,’ a goddess replied very casually.
    ‘I think I should remove her name from the goddess aspirant list,’ another goddess added.
    ‘Good, just update the punishment in our internal server.’
    One goddess took out her hPad and started updating the server but it kept rejecting her update.
    ‘Not sure what’s happening! Why it is not allowing me to update the server?’ The goddess was baffled.
    ‘Please,