An Ideal Wife

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Authors: Sanjay Grover
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and they threatened Sameer with revenge.
    Once out of the lock-up, I slowly walked up to the Inspector using the hips of a policeman. You must find that strange right? I can’t use his shoulders, silly; I’m a dwarf remember?
    ‘What have you done in just a day? I have never seen them react like this before,’ the Inspector questioned me.
    I was too shaken and bruised to say anything.
    ‘You couldn’t make yourself disappear yesterday, now do that quickly.’ And with that the Inspector snapped his fingers, indicating I vanish in a flash.
    I just kept looking at the Inspector, rather dumbly at that.
    ‘Abbe nikal jaldi yahan se, ’ he screamed with frustration.
    I once again took help of Sameer’s hips while leaving the police station.

    After few days I was lying on the couch at Sameer’s house with plasters on my hands and bandage all over my body. The TV was on and it was showing a Hindi film, Ghayal, where the lead actor, Sunny Deol, was being beaten badly by the police in a lock-up. Shivers ran down my spine, as the scene reminded me of my own ordeal. I finally managed to change the channel after a lot of struggle to pick the remote from the table.
    After a few minutes, Sameer entered the room and offered a glass of juice to me but I showed no interest in drinking it. Sameer persisted with his offer but I didn’t budge. ‘I don’t want it,’ I said like a petulant child.
    ‘Then what do you want? Police ki laathi… oh I am sorry, you must be missing criminals’ thrashing, right?’ Sameer poked me.
    I gave him a dejected look.
    ‘What? You had the perfect plan to get me killed by those criminals. I had to request the Inspector not to reveal my identity to those jerks,’ Sameer continued his tirade.
    I continued to look at Sameer with a sombre expression.
    ‘Will you please at least say something?’
    ‘I need a break,’ I replied without even wasting a second.
    ‘What?’ Sameer reacted as if someone had pulled the rug from under him.
    ‘I need a break for some time,’ I clarified.
    ‘And what are you going to do in the break?’
    ‘I am thinking of going back to Heaven for a few days.’
    ‘What about your promise?’ Sameer reacted sharply.
    ‘I can fulfill the promise only if I am alive,’ I replied firmly, pointing at the bandages and plaster.
    Sameer kept looking at me.
    ‘Just let me go for two weeks, I will surely come back with a plan to fulfill my promise.’
    This wasn’t music to Sameer’s ears but he also knew that I was in a very bad state and urgently needed to recharge my batteries.
    ‘Okay, I can understand your situation but please make sure two weeks means two weeks. I am already running short of time.’ This was beginning to sound just like the beauty and the beast, beauty being me in this case!
    ‘Thank you dude,’ I said, wearing an ear-to-ear smile.
    ‘Dude!!!! It seems you are still under the influence of the rave party,’ Sameer winked and smiled.
    I also smiled and left for heaven.

7
    Recharging batteries
and god’s unique
plan
    R eaching heaven for me was just like finding an oasis. I completely forgot about my problem and went into a complete overdrive, unwinding and enjoying myself to the hilt. I also deliberately stayed away from everyone so as not to create any tension during this rejuvenating period.
    All good things come to an end and no different was the fate of my dream vacation, which was cut short by one of my close friends who reminded me that my two weeks were soon getting over. As soon as he finished talking, I started getting jitters as my entire ordeal in Mrityulok flashed right in front of my eyes. I got worried and with no option left I ventured out to meet Bhagwaan Dada to seek his guidance.
    On my way to his house, many god aspirants made fun of me but I continued to walk ignoring them, as I knew that any confrontation with them at this point in time might make things worse for me.
    ‘Look at the walk of the Latsahab,’ one of the god

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