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Authors: Willie Geist
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delicate one. Use it incorrectly and we have a lawsuit from a fat person on our hands. Get approval from your direct manager before going with this.
play yourself ( v ): To reveal vulnerability, to make a fool of yourself. [Important note: different than playing with oneself.]
played out ( adj ): Archaic, no longer hip: Excuse me, sir! That Volvo wagon is played out. Why don’t you get a Peugeot or something while you’re at it! (Ha! Burn!)
player ( n ): Typically refers to playboy types, those skilled at collecting digits from the honeys. Pronounced “play-ah” (the mispronunciation of these terms is critical to the success of their use).
player haters ( n ): Those who disparage high rollers and players, usually because they are unsuccessful or unable to be players themselves. [Note: I once heard someone say on TV, Don’t hate the player, hate the game! I don’t know what that means, but give it a shot!]
posse ( n ): One’s coterie or clan. The group of people one surrounds oneself with. [Note: using the word “coterie” is generally a good way to get your ass kicked.]
represent ( v ): To demonstrate pride in or bring honor to one’s local community. I’m representin’ Westchester County, ya heard?!
ride ( n ): Car, typically a leased sports car or large SUV with televisions in the headrests.
rims ( n ): Custom-made exposed portion of tires, usually silver and often costing more than the ride whose wheels they cover.
roll ( v ): To congregate or travel with a particular group or person: Let’s roll to Brooks Brothers to cop some of those phat noniron dress shirts!
shorty ( n ): Little person or kid. Most often means an attractive female. [Note: not to be used to describe a “little person” in the technical sense—they’re very touchy and ornery.]
slamming ( adj ): Fantastic, really good or extremely attractive, stylin’. [ N ote: have some fun with this one, gang, and drop the “g”—as in “slammin’ ”! [See also phat .]
sucka ( n ): One who is easily fooled or manipulated. [Note: to better understand our African-American audience, rent I’m Gonna Git You Sucka . A spot-on depiction.]
sweat ( v ): To harass, bother, or worry: Stop sweating on me! It’s totally gross! Yuck!
tight ( adj ): Everything’s going well, all’s in its place, feeling good, as it should be—like a good pair of pleated khakis.
trip ( v ): To overreact or act irrationally: Hey, don’t trip over that extension cord, playa!
wack ( adj ): Bad, detrimental: Yo! This Hip-Hop Glossary is the opposite of wack! As a matter of fact, it’s fresh and totally krunk! The management at BNO just made it rain with knowledge, suckas! We’re currently Audi 5000! (The slang meaning—we’re not leaving in an Audi sedan.)
TRUE STORY . . .
“I AM THEM”
Woman calls 911 to report own drunk driving
The ethics of drunk driving are pretty clear-cut. Contrary to what your old man says, booze does not “help you focus” while driving (that only works for bowling and billiards). But what would a freshman ethics student do with the case of the forty-nine-year-old Wisconsin woman who called 911 to notify police that there was someone out on the road driving under the influence, and that someone was her?
The driver had knocked down “7 or 8 brandy and Cokes” at various bars around Neillsville, Wisconsin, before she got behind the wheel to head home. Apparently that journey was not going well, so the woman took it upon herself to call 911 about a drunk driver on the road. Here’s how the exchange with the emergency operator went from there:
Dispatch: You behind them?
Drunk Lady: No, I am them.
Dispatch: You am them?
Drunk Lady: Yes, I am them.
Dispatch: Okay, so you want to call and report you’re driving drunk?
Drunk Lady: Yes.
Dispatch: Are you still driving right now? You want to stop driving before you get in an accident.
Drunk Lady: Yes, I will stop.
The Drunk Lady pulled over and waited for police to
play yourself ( v ): To reveal vulnerability, to make a fool of yourself. [Important note: different than playing with oneself.]
played out ( adj ): Archaic, no longer hip: Excuse me, sir! That Volvo wagon is played out. Why don’t you get a Peugeot or something while you’re at it! (Ha! Burn!)
player ( n ): Typically refers to playboy types, those skilled at collecting digits from the honeys. Pronounced “play-ah” (the mispronunciation of these terms is critical to the success of their use).
player haters ( n ): Those who disparage high rollers and players, usually because they are unsuccessful or unable to be players themselves. [Note: I once heard someone say on TV, Don’t hate the player, hate the game! I don’t know what that means, but give it a shot!]
posse ( n ): One’s coterie or clan. The group of people one surrounds oneself with. [Note: using the word “coterie” is generally a good way to get your ass kicked.]
represent ( v ): To demonstrate pride in or bring honor to one’s local community. I’m representin’ Westchester County, ya heard?!
ride ( n ): Car, typically a leased sports car or large SUV with televisions in the headrests.
rims ( n ): Custom-made exposed portion of tires, usually silver and often costing more than the ride whose wheels they cover.
roll ( v ): To congregate or travel with a particular group or person: Let’s roll to Brooks Brothers to cop some of those phat noniron dress shirts!
shorty ( n ): Little person or kid. Most often means an attractive female. [Note: not to be used to describe a “little person” in the technical sense—they’re very touchy and ornery.]
slamming ( adj ): Fantastic, really good or extremely attractive, stylin’. [ N ote: have some fun with this one, gang, and drop the “g”—as in “slammin’ ”! [See also phat .]
sucka ( n ): One who is easily fooled or manipulated. [Note: to better understand our African-American audience, rent I’m Gonna Git You Sucka . A spot-on depiction.]
sweat ( v ): To harass, bother, or worry: Stop sweating on me! It’s totally gross! Yuck!
tight ( adj ): Everything’s going well, all’s in its place, feeling good, as it should be—like a good pair of pleated khakis.
trip ( v ): To overreact or act irrationally: Hey, don’t trip over that extension cord, playa!
wack ( adj ): Bad, detrimental: Yo! This Hip-Hop Glossary is the opposite of wack! As a matter of fact, it’s fresh and totally krunk! The management at BNO just made it rain with knowledge, suckas! We’re currently Audi 5000! (The slang meaning—we’re not leaving in an Audi sedan.)
TRUE STORY . . .
“I AM THEM”
Woman calls 911 to report own drunk driving
The ethics of drunk driving are pretty clear-cut. Contrary to what your old man says, booze does not “help you focus” while driving (that only works for bowling and billiards). But what would a freshman ethics student do with the case of the forty-nine-year-old Wisconsin woman who called 911 to notify police that there was someone out on the road driving under the influence, and that someone was her?
The driver had knocked down “7 or 8 brandy and Cokes” at various bars around Neillsville, Wisconsin, before she got behind the wheel to head home. Apparently that journey was not going well, so the woman took it upon herself to call 911 about a drunk driver on the road. Here’s how the exchange with the emergency operator went from there:
Dispatch: You behind them?
Drunk Lady: No, I am them.
Dispatch: You am them?
Drunk Lady: Yes, I am them.
Dispatch: Okay, so you want to call and report you’re driving drunk?
Drunk Lady: Yes.
Dispatch: Are you still driving right now? You want to stop driving before you get in an accident.
Drunk Lady: Yes, I will stop.
The Drunk Lady pulled over and waited for police to
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