Read Online Amazing Grace by Lesley Crewe - Free Book Online

going to run away.”
    â€œThen she was very foolish. Look child, I’m only saying this for your own good. Your mother was a very selfish woman…”
    â€œLeave me alone.” I roll over and face the wall. I don’t believe them. That couldn’t have happened. They’re lying.
    No one knows what to do with me. I sleep on a cot in Iris’s room, but I hear snatches of conversation between the women and children when they think I’m asleep. Even the man looks in the doorway from time to time. One day he tries to talk to me.
    â€œGrace.”
    â€œAmazing Grace.”
    â€œGrace.”
    â€œAmazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me…”
    â€œStop it this instant.”
    â€œâ€¦I once was lost but now I’m found, was blind but now I see.”
    He walks over, slaps my face, and leaves the room. Iris kneels down by my cot.
    â€œYou don’t want to bring attention to yourself. Try to be invisible.”
    That man lost my mother and sister. I’m going to make him pay.
    I do what everyone wants me to do without complaint. I don’t talk back, I do my chores, I wave my arms and sing to Jesus. I even smile at the man when it’s required, like the time some people come to take a tour of our camp. They carry clipboards and I notice the man is nervous. These clipboard people must be important if the master is in a sweat, so I spy on them. They’re very nice. One lady even sees me out of the corner of her eye and motions me forward. The man is beside her.
    â€œHello dear. What’s your name?”
    The man puts his arm around my shoulder. “This is Grace. Say hello, Grace.”
    â€œHello.”
    â€œDo you like living here, Grace?”
    â€œOh, yes. I have a tree house.”
    She smiles. “Isn’t that nice?”
    â€œI built it for her,” the man says as he squeezes me. “Our Grace loves to hang out in trees!”
    They move on and I can see the man is relieved that I kept my trap shut. I was right. These people are important. Before they leave I copy down their licence plate numbers. Helen’s brother told me cops collect stuff like that.
    While I pretend to be happy and eat my food and do my homework, the whole time I make plans. They aren’t plans that make sense, but one day I’ll be ready to use them. My mama said if something didn’t feel right, I need to trust myself.
    And everything about the man tells me he’s dangerous. I don’t know why the adults here don’t see it. A lot of the kids see it, like the boys who are punished in the barn, or the girls who shrink from the master when he comes too close.
    But now I notice that even the other men who live here don’t dare talk back to him. What does he do to make grown men keep their heads down?
    Slowly over the months, I take important things to the bog. I bury my mother’s duffel bag at the edge of the rocks we sat behind so long ago. The licence plate numbers go there. A few cans of food and water bottles I’ve managed to sneak out of the kitchen are stashed there. Then I collect dark clothes, a blanket, some grocery bags. Once the man asked me where I was going with a pot and I told him I was playing house in the tree fort. He believed me. I feel bad about stealing another girl’s running shoes, but they are much better than mine.
    And so these things wait. And I watch.
    I see the man caressing the hair of girls who wear it long and loose, so I sneak into the kitchen, grab a pair of scissors, and hack my hair off. Iris is furious with me and the girls say I look stupid, but I don’t care. Now I’ve even stopped wearing dresses, which is a constant fight with the other mothers, but no matter how many slap me in frustration, looking like a boy makes me feel better.
    But nothing happens. I can’t make anything happen. The adults keep their schedule and we’re not allowed outside the