on the contrary, quite serene, as usual. And I don’t know why you feel you must beg my pardon, though I do recall your father telling me—more than once, in fact—that you are a paragon of obedience. That must certainly be accounted a rare virtue.”
“I have been told it is,” Anne said. Not knowing what else to say, she waited expectantly for him to tell her what to do next.
He looked at her with some amusement. “Shall I lower myself in your eyes, I wonder, if I confess that I, too, am nervous?”
“You, sir? But I thought you … that is,” she amended swiftly, “that all gentlemen had vast experience with such matters. Do you not know what to do?”
“Yes, Anne, I know what to do. That is to say, I know how one goes about the process of mating.”
“Well, that’s good, because I don’t know much about it at all. You will have to tell me what to do, but if you are truly nervous or disinclined to do it tonight, there can be no great hurry, after all, and I have no objection if you should prefer to … to—”
“There is no good reason to put it off,” he said quietly. “It is our duty, after all, to produce children. I meant only that I have never had a brand new wife before, or engaged in such activities with a lady who was not practiced in the activity.”
“I … I see.” Again, she was at a loss for words. Though she had known that gentlemen, as a rule, were far more experienced in matters of sexual conduct than ladies were, and that rakes flirted with all sorts of females, it had not occurred to her that her own husband would have engaged in sexual activities with other women. “Papa—and my sisters, too—said you were once a great rake,” she said, “but since I did not know you …” She let the sentence trail to silence, unsure how to end it without vexing him.
“You would not have been likely to meet me in London,” he said. “I did not frequent Almack’s Assembly Rooms or the ton parties unless there was gaming involved. I am afraid that until six months ago I was as extravagant in my own way as any other St. Ledgers male, and as active in pursuit of entertainment.”
“I see.”
“You don’t, of course, and I’m not inclined to explain. I think, for both our sakes, we had better agree to forget the past and proceed into the future. You get into bed now, and I’ll put out the candles.”
Anne waited until his back was turned before slipping hastily out of her dressing gown. Then, using the steps at the window side of the high bed, she sprang into it and snatched the eiderdown coverlet up to her chin. Watching him move methodically to snuff each of the many candles Maisie had left burning, she was glad she had put away her journal pages, for two branches of candles stood on the writing desk, and she was certain that he—like any other man—would have been tempted to read what his wife had written.
He left till last the candle burning on the bed-step table but snuffed it before he slipped off his dressing gown. When he climbed into bed, she realized at once that he was naked, and she was glad he had put out the light. She had never actually seen a naked man, but she had seen her younger brothers in their childhood and certainly knew that men were fashioned differently from women.
When he moved to take her in his arms, she stiffened.
He murmured, “Don’t you want to take off your nightdress?”
“Must I?”
“I suppose not, but we must move it out of the way a little.”
She swallowed hard, exerting every ounce of control she had over her limbs not to leap from the bed and run away. His hands on her body stirred a number of unfamiliar sensations, but her own modesty made it difficult to accept his taking such liberties with her person. When his hand moved between her legs, she jumped, quite involuntarily, and tried to pull away from him.
“Be still,” he murmured. “Let me see if I can help you relax. One of his large hands moved up over her stomach, over
“I have been told it is,” Anne said. Not knowing what else to say, she waited expectantly for him to tell her what to do next.
He looked at her with some amusement. “Shall I lower myself in your eyes, I wonder, if I confess that I, too, am nervous?”
“You, sir? But I thought you … that is,” she amended swiftly, “that all gentlemen had vast experience with such matters. Do you not know what to do?”
“Yes, Anne, I know what to do. That is to say, I know how one goes about the process of mating.”
“Well, that’s good, because I don’t know much about it at all. You will have to tell me what to do, but if you are truly nervous or disinclined to do it tonight, there can be no great hurry, after all, and I have no objection if you should prefer to … to—”
“There is no good reason to put it off,” he said quietly. “It is our duty, after all, to produce children. I meant only that I have never had a brand new wife before, or engaged in such activities with a lady who was not practiced in the activity.”
“I … I see.” Again, she was at a loss for words. Though she had known that gentlemen, as a rule, were far more experienced in matters of sexual conduct than ladies were, and that rakes flirted with all sorts of females, it had not occurred to her that her own husband would have engaged in sexual activities with other women. “Papa—and my sisters, too—said you were once a great rake,” she said, “but since I did not know you …” She let the sentence trail to silence, unsure how to end it without vexing him.
“You would not have been likely to meet me in London,” he said. “I did not frequent Almack’s Assembly Rooms or the ton parties unless there was gaming involved. I am afraid that until six months ago I was as extravagant in my own way as any other St. Ledgers male, and as active in pursuit of entertainment.”
“I see.”
“You don’t, of course, and I’m not inclined to explain. I think, for both our sakes, we had better agree to forget the past and proceed into the future. You get into bed now, and I’ll put out the candles.”
Anne waited until his back was turned before slipping hastily out of her dressing gown. Then, using the steps at the window side of the high bed, she sprang into it and snatched the eiderdown coverlet up to her chin. Watching him move methodically to snuff each of the many candles Maisie had left burning, she was glad she had put away her journal pages, for two branches of candles stood on the writing desk, and she was certain that he—like any other man—would have been tempted to read what his wife had written.
He left till last the candle burning on the bed-step table but snuffed it before he slipped off his dressing gown. When he climbed into bed, she realized at once that he was naked, and she was glad he had put out the light. She had never actually seen a naked man, but she had seen her younger brothers in their childhood and certainly knew that men were fashioned differently from women.
When he moved to take her in his arms, she stiffened.
He murmured, “Don’t you want to take off your nightdress?”
“Must I?”
“I suppose not, but we must move it out of the way a little.”
She swallowed hard, exerting every ounce of control she had over her limbs not to leap from the bed and run away. His hands on her body stirred a number of unfamiliar sensations, but her own modesty made it difficult to accept his taking such liberties with her person. When his hand moved between her legs, she jumped, quite involuntarily, and tried to pull away from him.
“Be still,” he murmured. “Let me see if I can help you relax. One of his large hands moved up over her stomach, over
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