hard she wondered if she might taste blood. “He just said the initial tests were clear but that they’d need to keep checking. I don’t think I’m completely in the clear yet, but he sounded pretty positive.”
“Baby, it was worth everything. I was so close to losing you.” Matt kissed her, his mouth hungrily searching out hers.
Usually she would have laughed and kissed him back, been as eager as he was, but not now. She moved her mouth but the tingly feeling she usually felt from locking lips with him wasn’t there.
“Was it worth everything?” she managed, the words whispered, pushing him away with her palm flat to his chest.
Matt frowned down at her. “Yeah, it was. We’re together. You didn’t die.”
A part of me died . She wanted to say it but the words faded in her throat.
Instead of answering she walked past him and had a look at what he’d made. The smell of bacon almost made her gag, but he’d made an effort—she had to give him that.
“I’ll just have some eggs if that’s okay,” Lisa said, hearing him move behind her as she reached for the coffee.
“Lis, I don’t get why you’re so unhappy. We should be celebrating!” Matt wrapped his arms around her, mouth dropping to her neck.
Lisa froze, tried not to explode. “So I’m alive,” she muttered. “But I lost a baby, Matt. A baby I still think about every day, but you’ve obviously forgotten about him.”
His hands fell away and she fought tears. She didn’t want to push him away, didn’t want to be cruel, but he just didn’t get it!
“I haven’t forgotten,” he said quietly. “But you will always be more important to me than a child I’ve never met. You’re more important to me than anyone else.”
The tears were burning, fiery, but she refused to let them fall. “He was my child, our child, and I will never stop questioning the decision we made. Never.”
Matt moved away, and she turned when she knew he was no longer standing behind her. She loved him—she always would—but right now a little part of her hated him for loving her more than he’d loved their child. It was unfair and it was cruel, but she couldn’t help the emotions throbbing through every inch of her body.
“I can’t do this right now,” she said, squaring her shoulders and deciding to leave rather than argue. It was unfair to both of them. “I’m going into the shop.”
Matt nodded, face solemn. “Okay.”
It was strange seeing him standing there with a spatula in one hand, skillet in the other. He’d never cooked for her before, never taken on the role of caring for her until now.
Lisa collected her keys and walked out, wanting to be busy, wanting to stop thinking and blaming and wondering. She couldn’t stand staying in the house for a moment longer. Her hands were shaking when she got behind the steering wheel, but she forced herself to keep going. It didn’t take long to get to her shop, and she immediately saw Savannah, her manager, putting out the sign as she parked.
“Hey!” she called out when she walked in, the smell of her favorite scented candle hitting her the second she was inside.
The colors surrounded her, the fabrics calling to her and wanting to be touched, and she wished in that moment that she could just stay here forever. This was her place. This was where she belonged. This was where she could be herself, away from what had happened and the decisions that had been made.
“Lisa! You look amazing!” Savannah came running to her, arms open as she pulled her in for a big hug. “Are you okay? You don’t look like you’re just heading to the office today.”
“I’m okay,” Lisa said, returning the hug, holding her friend and long-time employee close to her body. “But here I don’t want to talk about it. The C-word is banned, and so is anything else unless it’s work related or gossip that you want to tell me.”
Savannah gave her a tight smile. “Understood.”
“Now show me all the new stock
“Baby, it was worth everything. I was so close to losing you.” Matt kissed her, his mouth hungrily searching out hers.
Usually she would have laughed and kissed him back, been as eager as he was, but not now. She moved her mouth but the tingly feeling she usually felt from locking lips with him wasn’t there.
“Was it worth everything?” she managed, the words whispered, pushing him away with her palm flat to his chest.
Matt frowned down at her. “Yeah, it was. We’re together. You didn’t die.”
A part of me died . She wanted to say it but the words faded in her throat.
Instead of answering she walked past him and had a look at what he’d made. The smell of bacon almost made her gag, but he’d made an effort—she had to give him that.
“I’ll just have some eggs if that’s okay,” Lisa said, hearing him move behind her as she reached for the coffee.
“Lis, I don’t get why you’re so unhappy. We should be celebrating!” Matt wrapped his arms around her, mouth dropping to her neck.
Lisa froze, tried not to explode. “So I’m alive,” she muttered. “But I lost a baby, Matt. A baby I still think about every day, but you’ve obviously forgotten about him.”
His hands fell away and she fought tears. She didn’t want to push him away, didn’t want to be cruel, but he just didn’t get it!
“I haven’t forgotten,” he said quietly. “But you will always be more important to me than a child I’ve never met. You’re more important to me than anyone else.”
The tears were burning, fiery, but she refused to let them fall. “He was my child, our child, and I will never stop questioning the decision we made. Never.”
Matt moved away, and she turned when she knew he was no longer standing behind her. She loved him—she always would—but right now a little part of her hated him for loving her more than he’d loved their child. It was unfair and it was cruel, but she couldn’t help the emotions throbbing through every inch of her body.
“I can’t do this right now,” she said, squaring her shoulders and deciding to leave rather than argue. It was unfair to both of them. “I’m going into the shop.”
Matt nodded, face solemn. “Okay.”
It was strange seeing him standing there with a spatula in one hand, skillet in the other. He’d never cooked for her before, never taken on the role of caring for her until now.
Lisa collected her keys and walked out, wanting to be busy, wanting to stop thinking and blaming and wondering. She couldn’t stand staying in the house for a moment longer. Her hands were shaking when she got behind the steering wheel, but she forced herself to keep going. It didn’t take long to get to her shop, and she immediately saw Savannah, her manager, putting out the sign as she parked.
“Hey!” she called out when she walked in, the smell of her favorite scented candle hitting her the second she was inside.
The colors surrounded her, the fabrics calling to her and wanting to be touched, and she wished in that moment that she could just stay here forever. This was her place. This was where she belonged. This was where she could be herself, away from what had happened and the decisions that had been made.
“Lisa! You look amazing!” Savannah came running to her, arms open as she pulled her in for a big hug. “Are you okay? You don’t look like you’re just heading to the office today.”
“I’m okay,” Lisa said, returning the hug, holding her friend and long-time employee close to her body. “But here I don’t want to talk about it. The C-word is banned, and so is anything else unless it’s work related or gossip that you want to tell me.”
Savannah gave her a tight smile. “Understood.”
“Now show me all the new stock
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