should have tried harder to find you.”
“Oh, Ethan, I didn’t know you came looking for me.”
He shrugged. “It wasn’t enough. I should have tried harder. But look at you now, look at what you’ve done with your life. If I had found you, you might never have all you have now. I can’t regret that for you, you know? Sometimes destiny plays a big part in things. Maybe I was supposed to screw this all up so you could become famous.”
She tilted her head. “Is that some kind of twisted logic?”
“Maybe. It’s not an excuse though. All of this is my fault. And I’ll never be able to say I’m sorry enough times to make it stop hurting you. I know that. But I’m still sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, and for what happened with Amanda.”
She saw him in a new light. “That’s a load of heavy burdens you’re carrying.”
His lips curled. “I have wide shoulders.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “We both lost so much. Time, friends, people we loved.”
“But you can’t change the past. It is what it is and I have to live with it.”
She shuddered, realizing that no matter how much she wanted to go back, Ethan was right.
She threw her arms around him and hugged him, needing to give him comfort, and forgiveness. And maybe she needed to give herself a little comfort too for all she’d lost.
Ethan wrapped his arms around Riley while she cried, held her while she grieved for the friend she’d had and lost. He’d long ago cried all he could for losing Amanda. He might not have loved her like a husband should love his wife, but he’d been a good husband to her, a good friend, and he’d never felt guilty for still being in love with Riley after all these years, because while he’d been married to Amanda, she’d been the only woman in his life.
Their lives might not have been perfect, but he’d given her all of himself for the time they had together.
And the two of them had given Zoey the best life they could.
After Riley cried it out, he reached into the glove compartment and handed her a box of tissues. She wiped her eyes, blew her nose and tossed the coat aside. “Now I’m hot.”
He laughed. “Feeling better now?”
She nodded. “I’m sorry. I’m not usually this dramatic. You probably think I’m some Nashville diva who throws fits and storms out of houses and, oh, God.” She lifted tear-filled eyes to his. “What your family must think of me.”
“Actually, they thought I was an asshole.”
“They did? Why?”
“Because I was the one who came at you and said all the wrong things. My mother gave me the look.”
“Yikes. Not the look.”
“Yeah. I realized I’d stuck my foot in my mouth right away, but you’d already run out. By the time I ran after you, you were gone. Damn, woman, you’re fast.”
She laughed. “I run for exercise.”
“I went inside to grab my coat and that’s when I saw yours, so I got my keys and came looking for you. So no, my family isn’t mad at you, they’re mad as hell at me. Trust me, I’m in no hurry to go back there.”
She settled back against the seat only to find his arm draped back there. She was plenty warm now and he could have shifted back over to his side of the car, but he hadn’t yet.
Not that she was complaining. She felt like they’d finally gotten past the huge chasm that had stood between them for all these years, at least the one she’d put there.
She tilted her head back and looked into his eyes. God, she could get lost there. She’d spent all of the past ten years on her work, hadn’t had time for serious romance. She hadn’t taken time to look for a man in her life, because first she’d been heartbroken over Ethan, and then she’d put all her energies into building her career. There just never seemed to be light left at the end of the day for love. Writing about it, singing about it, yes. Finding it, no. And maybe she’d been afraid to fall in love, because love could hurt.
With the paparazzi dogging her
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