“And for the record, I don’t always have sex. But I’m not ashamed of
wanting it sometimes, either.”
“I hate that you saying that makes me jealous.” He stared at me, distress in his eyes. “Shit, this is so
messed up.”
A guy jealous over me was a feeling I wasn’t accustomed to.
“But it’s more than all of that, Avery,” he said. “I saw how casual guys were with my mother, how
they threw around the word love to get what they wanted, when I knew it was all a bunch of bullshit.”
I nodded, knowing full well what he meant. I’d seen it plenty in my house, too.
“I want something real ,” he whispered. “And I’m willing to wait for it.”
My throat closed up at his words.
“Are you . . . waiting for marriage?”
“No.” He looked me dead in the eye. “I’m just waiting for love .”
Those words rocked me hard. He sounded so honest and sincere and brave.
“Have you never been in love before?” I asked.
I had, once only. Gavin and I were sixteen and about to make love for the first time. And then Tim
ruined it for me. For us. Like a big dark shadow that turned our love into fear, and eventually hatred.
If I could have a redo of my first time, I’d take it in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t be so scared, so
distrustful. Maybe then Gavin wouldn’t have been so shitty to me after all was said and done.
“I thought I was in love once, but then I realized how very wrong I was,” he said. “So I don’t plan
on making that mistake again.”
Here was a guy who actually valued women. And he had to meet someone like me .
“Believe it or not, Bennett,” I said. “I respect you so much more now.” “Is that all you feel for me—respect?” he asked, inching toward me. “Because the way you were
kissing me . . .”
He wanted something from me that I couldn’t give him. Not now. Not ever.
Man, this was tough. I wanted him, bad . But there was no way in hell I could have him. Not when
our goals were so vastly different. So why did the idea of walking away slice somewhere deep inside my
core?
He was just another guy. A hot and deep and irresistible guy. Who happened to be a virgin . And
happened to live in my building, where I’d be forced to run into him all the time. Fuck my life.
“I feel . . . horny ,” I said. He shook his head and his jaw ticked. “I’m sorry you have to be attracted
to someone like me. I can’t be that girl for you, Bennett.”
His eyes drilled a hole through me, trying to reach inside and grasp on to something. “You can’t, or
you won’t?” I shut my eyes tight against the truth. “Both.”
Chapter Eight
“He’s a virgin?” Ella screeched. I ducked my head from probing eyes.
Rachel, Ella, and I were back at the campus coffee shop in a cushioned corner booth in between
classes.
Rachel was a business major, and after Bennett’s declaration that one day in the laundry room that
my field of study should have been something more cutthroat, I couldn’t help thinking it was the perfect
major for her.
Ella was a psychology major, and she liked to use her mumbo jumbo terms on me, saying that I
was repressing my feelings about Tim and projecting them onto men everywhere.
“Holy crap!” Rachel said. “You realize how messed up it sounds that he just happens to be attracted
to a bitch-ass like you?”
I rolled my eyes. “Geez, thanks a lot, dickhead.” I may have acted nonchalant, but I wanted to
pound her one. Was it really that farfetched of an idea?
“She didn’t mean it that way,” Ella said, giving Rachel big eyes. “You’re a lot of things, Avery. A
lot of wonderful things—for a bitch-ass.”
“But you are definitely emotionally unavailable,” Rachel said, smoothing her hair behind her ears.
My eyebrows drew together. “Pot, meet kettle.”
“I’m not denying
wanting it sometimes, either.”
“I hate that you saying that makes me jealous.” He stared at me, distress in his eyes. “Shit, this is so
messed up.”
A guy jealous over me was a feeling I wasn’t accustomed to.
“But it’s more than all of that, Avery,” he said. “I saw how casual guys were with my mother, how
they threw around the word love to get what they wanted, when I knew it was all a bunch of bullshit.”
I nodded, knowing full well what he meant. I’d seen it plenty in my house, too.
“I want something real ,” he whispered. “And I’m willing to wait for it.”
My throat closed up at his words.
“Are you . . . waiting for marriage?”
“No.” He looked me dead in the eye. “I’m just waiting for love .”
Those words rocked me hard. He sounded so honest and sincere and brave.
“Have you never been in love before?” I asked.
I had, once only. Gavin and I were sixteen and about to make love for the first time. And then Tim
ruined it for me. For us. Like a big dark shadow that turned our love into fear, and eventually hatred.
If I could have a redo of my first time, I’d take it in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t be so scared, so
distrustful. Maybe then Gavin wouldn’t have been so shitty to me after all was said and done.
“I thought I was in love once, but then I realized how very wrong I was,” he said. “So I don’t plan
on making that mistake again.”
Here was a guy who actually valued women. And he had to meet someone like me .
“Believe it or not, Bennett,” I said. “I respect you so much more now.” “Is that all you feel for me—respect?” he asked, inching toward me. “Because the way you were
kissing me . . .”
He wanted something from me that I couldn’t give him. Not now. Not ever.
Man, this was tough. I wanted him, bad . But there was no way in hell I could have him. Not when
our goals were so vastly different. So why did the idea of walking away slice somewhere deep inside my
core?
He was just another guy. A hot and deep and irresistible guy. Who happened to be a virgin . And
happened to live in my building, where I’d be forced to run into him all the time. Fuck my life.
“I feel . . . horny ,” I said. He shook his head and his jaw ticked. “I’m sorry you have to be attracted
to someone like me. I can’t be that girl for you, Bennett.”
His eyes drilled a hole through me, trying to reach inside and grasp on to something. “You can’t, or
you won’t?” I shut my eyes tight against the truth. “Both.”
Chapter Eight
“He’s a virgin?” Ella screeched. I ducked my head from probing eyes.
Rachel, Ella, and I were back at the campus coffee shop in a cushioned corner booth in between
classes.
Rachel was a business major, and after Bennett’s declaration that one day in the laundry room that
my field of study should have been something more cutthroat, I couldn’t help thinking it was the perfect
major for her.
Ella was a psychology major, and she liked to use her mumbo jumbo terms on me, saying that I
was repressing my feelings about Tim and projecting them onto men everywhere.
“Holy crap!” Rachel said. “You realize how messed up it sounds that he just happens to be attracted
to a bitch-ass like you?”
I rolled my eyes. “Geez, thanks a lot, dickhead.” I may have acted nonchalant, but I wanted to
pound her one. Was it really that farfetched of an idea?
“She didn’t mean it that way,” Ella said, giving Rachel big eyes. “You’re a lot of things, Avery. A
lot of wonderful things—for a bitch-ass.”
“But you are definitely emotionally unavailable,” Rachel said, smoothing her hair behind her ears.
My eyebrows drew together. “Pot, meet kettle.”
“I’m not denying
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