girl,” he said, sitting up.
So he did think I was some kind of whore. A sexy whore, at that.
I balled my fists and considered using them on him. “Oh I get it, I’m nice to sleep next to and grope
on the dance floor . . .”
I didn’t know what I was getting so uptight about. He had clearly explained to me that he wanted a
commitment. And I had made it clear I wasn’t girlfriend material—so why did it upset me that he didn’t
think so, either?
“No! You don’t understand, Avery,” he said. “I want you. Damn it, I want you like I’ve never
wanted anyone before.”
“But . . . ?”
“But . . .” The look in Bennett’s eyes was resigned, dutiful even. “I’m a virgin , Avery.”
I slumped forward as if I’d been sucker-punched in the gut. “What do you mean?”
“I’m pretty sure you don’t need a definition,” he said, rushing his fingers through his hair.
I stared at him for what seemed like hours, thoughts ticking through my brain. A slide show of our
time together. The party, the sleepovers, the dance floor.
“Go ahead, get it out,” he said, arms crossed over his chest. “I’ve heard it all.”
I shook my head, not sure what he wanted.
His voice went up a register to sound distinctly female. “Maybe I’ll be the one to break you,
Bennett . . .”
Hadn’t I tried to break him? My pulse pitched at that realization.
“Or how about this one—I’d rather be with someone who knows what they’re doing .” That last girly imitation made me sit all the way up. “Seriously?”
“Seriously,” he said, looking crushed and angry all at once.
“Okay, I get it,” I said. “This is like breaking headline news for some women, including me.”
“Obviously.” He pulled his shirt over his head and then brought it down over his smooth chest.
“I guess I just want to understand.” I fisted the sheet in my hand. “Can you explain it to me?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Do I really have to?”
“No, you don’t; I’m sorry.” I averted my eyes, feeling like an idiot. “You have the right to your own
privacy. That was stupid.”
“No Avery, I’m the stupid one,” he huffed. “I don’t know what I’m doing here. I want to know you,
I crave being around you. But you’ve made it clear you don’t do relationships.”
“And you’ve made it clear that you do. So I’m to blame as well.” I wanted to tell him I hungered
after him, too, that I felt the exact same way—but the very thought of sharing that was terrifying and
would have blurred the lines even further.
“Look, I’ve been taking care of my mom and sisters for as long as I can remember. My mom was a
teenager when she had me, and we had to live with my aunt for a while,” he said, explaining himself
after all. And I didn’t want him to stop talking, so I kept my mouth shut. “My mother’s been in so many
crappy relationships. Men treated her like garbage.”
“Same with my mom,” I whispered, more to myself than to him.
“And what a great role model she turned out to be, because my sister got pregnant at sixteen, too.”
He was up and pacing at this point. “I swore to myself I would never have casual sex and knock a girl
up. I’ve always worked odd jobs to help Mom pay the bills. No way in hell was I going to support my
own kid, too.”
“But don’t you think that’s extreme?” I asked. He rolled his eyes, like he’d heard that one before,
too. Probably from the hordes of girls that wanted him so badly. But still, I tried making my point.
“There’s plenty of good birth control out there, and lots of people are having sex and not getting pregnant.”
“Like you?” he said before a look of regret shot through his eyes. “Damn it. I’m sorry, that was
uncalled for. Guess I’m feeling defensive.”
“I deserved that,” I said.
So he did think I was some kind of whore. A sexy whore, at that.
I balled my fists and considered using them on him. “Oh I get it, I’m nice to sleep next to and grope
on the dance floor . . .”
I didn’t know what I was getting so uptight about. He had clearly explained to me that he wanted a
commitment. And I had made it clear I wasn’t girlfriend material—so why did it upset me that he didn’t
think so, either?
“No! You don’t understand, Avery,” he said. “I want you. Damn it, I want you like I’ve never
wanted anyone before.”
“But . . . ?”
“But . . .” The look in Bennett’s eyes was resigned, dutiful even. “I’m a virgin , Avery.”
I slumped forward as if I’d been sucker-punched in the gut. “What do you mean?”
“I’m pretty sure you don’t need a definition,” he said, rushing his fingers through his hair.
I stared at him for what seemed like hours, thoughts ticking through my brain. A slide show of our
time together. The party, the sleepovers, the dance floor.
“Go ahead, get it out,” he said, arms crossed over his chest. “I’ve heard it all.”
I shook my head, not sure what he wanted.
His voice went up a register to sound distinctly female. “Maybe I’ll be the one to break you,
Bennett . . .”
Hadn’t I tried to break him? My pulse pitched at that realization.
“Or how about this one—I’d rather be with someone who knows what they’re doing .” That last girly imitation made me sit all the way up. “Seriously?”
“Seriously,” he said, looking crushed and angry all at once.
“Okay, I get it,” I said. “This is like breaking headline news for some women, including me.”
“Obviously.” He pulled his shirt over his head and then brought it down over his smooth chest.
“I guess I just want to understand.” I fisted the sheet in my hand. “Can you explain it to me?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Do I really have to?”
“No, you don’t; I’m sorry.” I averted my eyes, feeling like an idiot. “You have the right to your own
privacy. That was stupid.”
“No Avery, I’m the stupid one,” he huffed. “I don’t know what I’m doing here. I want to know you,
I crave being around you. But you’ve made it clear you don’t do relationships.”
“And you’ve made it clear that you do. So I’m to blame as well.” I wanted to tell him I hungered
after him, too, that I felt the exact same way—but the very thought of sharing that was terrifying and
would have blurred the lines even further.
“Look, I’ve been taking care of my mom and sisters for as long as I can remember. My mom was a
teenager when she had me, and we had to live with my aunt for a while,” he said, explaining himself
after all. And I didn’t want him to stop talking, so I kept my mouth shut. “My mother’s been in so many
crappy relationships. Men treated her like garbage.”
“Same with my mom,” I whispered, more to myself than to him.
“And what a great role model she turned out to be, because my sister got pregnant at sixteen, too.”
He was up and pacing at this point. “I swore to myself I would never have casual sex and knock a girl
up. I’ve always worked odd jobs to help Mom pay the bills. No way in hell was I going to support my
own kid, too.”
“But don’t you think that’s extreme?” I asked. He rolled his eyes, like he’d heard that one before,
too. Probably from the hordes of girls that wanted him so badly. But still, I tried making my point.
“There’s plenty of good birth control out there, and lots of people are having sex and not getting pregnant.”
“Like you?” he said before a look of regret shot through his eyes. “Damn it. I’m sorry, that was
uncalled for. Guess I’m feeling defensive.”
“I deserved that,” I said.
Similar Books
