until my mind goes blank. When I get outside, a few people greet me like I ’ m their old friend. I don ’ t know, maybe I partied with them before. I walk around the house and stop, looking up the sky, wondering what would it be like if I had the ability to change the past. Nothing is ever that simple. For a long moment I ’ m enjoying my own company. Then I hear a noise: it sounds like someone is crying. I take a gulp of my drink and carry on walking.
“ Go away, I don ’ t want anyone to see me like this. ”
It ’ s Rhian, my ex-girlfriend that I ditched for India after couple of weeks of dating.
I have to admit, I ’ m drunk, but Rhian looks miserable, hiding her face in her palms. There have been many girls in my life, but I cared for Rhian. I thought that I could have a real relationship for once, but then I dumped her like a worthless used bag.
That was not cool, Oliver, not cool at all.
“ Rhian, are you all right? ” I ask her, situating myself next to her. She was upset when I broke up with her all those months ago. Thinking about it, I realise I ’ ve changed. I didn ’ t even know how much I hurt people until the roles turned.
She lifts her head, staring at me from under her long dark eyelashes. I have no clue how long she ’ s been sitting here, but her eyes are red and swollen.
“ Oliver? What … what are you doing here? ”
“ Just hanging out, trying to clear my head. What ’ s wrong? Why are you crying? ”
She shakes her head, wiping the tears from her eyes. I don ’ t know why I had been such an arsehole to her. At least I could have grown a pair of balls and told her that I didn ’ t love her. As usual, I was too caught up with my own ego to notice what kind of damage I ’ d done.
“ It ’ s Malcolm. We went out a few times and I saw him making out with MacKenzie earlier on. ” She sobs.
I work out my knuckles, trying to breathe. Fucking MacKenzie. Why does she always interfere with other people ’ s business? Now I see myself from a few months ago. Treating girls like possessions. Rhian is hot and she deserves someone who appreciates her. I flop my arm around her and push her to my chest.
“ Don ’ t stress. Malcolm is obviously too thick too notice how good you are for him. You ’ re hot and he ’ s an idiot. MacKenzie will play with him for a little bit, then break his heart. He will come crawling back. ”
Rhian ’ s sobs die down and she looks up at me, her mouth lifting up in a small smile. I hate knowing that I was like Malcolm, that I slept around just to shut down the demons from the past.
“ He can go to hell for all I care, ” she says with a shrug and then pulls away from me. “ Besides, what are you trying to do, Oliver? I ’ m not fucking you again. ”
I pinch my eyebrows together and run my hand through my hair. This is what I ’ m talking about. Rhian only sees what she gets. Oliver Morgan, a guy who is a man-whore and who uses girls. Fuck, how can I not hate myself?
“ Rhian, I ’ m not here for that. I just wanted to get away from the crowd. ”
“ Right. ”
“ Listen, I owe you an apology … when we dated I wasn ’ t completely honest with you, ” I say, knowing that I should do more than just apologise. Rhian had never done anything wrong. “ All my life I loved only one girl, but I realised this way too late. ”
She gets up, widening her eyes at me. “ Oh my God, so it ’ s true then? You want to hurt her more. You ’ re an ars —”
“ No, Rhian, no, this isn ’ t like that. I love India, but I ’ ve destroyed her feelings for me. I cared about you and I should have never asked you out, so I ’ m sorry for that. I ’ m sorry for dumping you. ”
Silence stretches for minutes, and Rhian doesn ’ t respond. I should be apologising to every girl that I ever hurt because only now can I see that I went about destroying whatever was in my way just to feel better about myself.
“ It ’ s all right. I never
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