kids…when….when…Alfonzo began crying. Alone he could display emotion without fear of being labeled a bitch! In the street motherfuckers always tested your manhood. As a result he had physical and emotional scars from fights with gang members, drug dealers and anyone who thought blue eyes meant a lack of street credibility. T he tough blue eyed Puerto Rican gained respect when he disproved their assumption. He wiped at his cheekbone then sniffled recall ing the night h e made his first kill. Not intentionally, it was self-defense but he killed someone nonetheless and would’ve ended up in juvie if Uncle Al hadn’t intervened. It felt like yesterday when he was that bad-ass little kid, hanging out late, breaking curfew, smoking weed, doing shit a kid at that age shouldn’t. Driving, sexing, selling, beefing and thinking it all was a game – b ut games have players and with a roll of the dice the game can turn deadly.
He remembered walking home late, hoodie on, bop to his step dreading his mom’s ire. He rounded the corner near Second Avenue when these dudes jumped out of nowhere. They were two big dudes, mean thuggish brutes not from the area and they wanted his kicks and jewelry. Alfonzo wasn’t about to part with his new Jordan’s, hell no , he paid a good piece of cash for the retro sneakers and these bums who didn’t know how to hustle wanted them. Nah, it wasn’t happening!
They scuffled, he pulled out his knife and started cutting. When they fell back he took off running in the opposite direction . The streets were dark and the closest place for shelter was Uncle Al’s. He got there in a minute flat and lay on the buzzer. His apartment was over a bodega and Alfonzo stepped out when he heard a window open and saw his uncle peering down at him, “ Niño , tú loco? Este tarde! It’s late!”
A second later clad in his boxers Uncle Al opened the door for his nephew. One look at Alfonzo and he pushed the boy up the flight of stairs to his apartment then locked the door, “What happened?”
“ Some guys tried to roll on me and take my shit, Tio !”
“You hurt?” Uncle asked.
“Nah…nah…I’m alright but I fucked-up one of the guys real bad.”
“Watch your mouth ni ño , calm down and tell me what happened!”
Uncle Al listened intently as Alfonzo recanted the entire incident then he directed Alfonzo to take a shower and gave him a set of clean clothes. Uncle Al then called his mom and produced a cover story to get him out of trouble. “Yeah…yeah…we fell asleep playing video games. Yeah, lo siento hermana , I just woke-up. He’s still asleep but I’ll make sure he gets home in the morning. All right… sis… buenos noche .”
After the call he put his hand out for the knife, “Give it to me.”
The blade was taken out of his pocket and placed in his uncle’s palm. He never saw the blade again . Roaring sirens caused fear to shoot through his body but uncle was calm. He dressed quickly, grabbed his keys and told Alfonzo to stay put until he returned. Those were the longest fifteen minutes of his life and when uncle came back the somber expression confirmed what he had done. “The bodies are covered, ni ño . The men are dead.”
The thirteen year old boy who fought to gain respect graduated to a murderer. It did not matter whether it was self-defense, the outcome remained the same. Two men were dead by his hands. “ What , they’re dead, you sure ?” Alfonzo asked in bewilderment.
His uncle sat down next to the boy in the oversize shirt and pajama pants, “It’ll be alright… we will not talk about this to anyone . Give me your word.”
The boy nodded, “ On my word .”
“This never happened, you and I were here playing video games and you fell asleep. That is what happened, comprende?”
“ Si, tio … comprendo .”
He recalled the months of paranoia, checking his back, jumping every time the doorbell rang. Certain the police would eventually learn where he lived
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