Read Online Alcatraz vs. the Shattered Lens by Brandon Sanderson - Free Book Online
Authors: Brandon Sanderson
Tags: Fantasy
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Bastille relaxed as I lifted the gun, placing it against my shoulder, barrel toward the air.
And - as if to prove me wrong - I felt a little jolt as my Talent was engaged. The gun didn't fall apart, however.
It just fired. Shooting directly into the air with an extremely loud cracking noise, blasting a glowing ball of light into the sky.
Shocked, I dropped the gun. It hit the ground, going off again, shooting another glowing ball out into the forest.
The black night was completely still for a moment. And then, a loud blaring alarm noise began to echo through the camp.
"Frailty," Bastille said with a sigh, "thy name is Alcatraz."
ACT V, SCENE III
The following chapter introduction is an excerpt from Alcatraz Smedry's bestselling book, How to Sound Really Smart in Three Easy Steps .
STEP ONE: Find an old book that everyone has heard of but nobody has read .
The clever writers know that literary allusions are useful for lots of reasons other than giving you stuff to write when you run out of ideas. They can also make you look way more important. What better way to seem intelligent than to include an obscure phrase in your story? It screams, "Look how smart I am. I've read lots of old books."
STEP TWO: Skim through that old play or document until you find a section that makes no sense whatsoever.
Shakespeare is great for this for one simple reason: None of what he wrote makes any sense at all. Using confusing old phrases is important because it makes you look mysterious. Plus, if nobody knows what the original author meant, then they can't complain that you used the phrase wrong. (Shakespeare, it should be noted, was paid by other authors to write gibberish. That way, when they wanted to quote something that didn't make sense, they just had to reach for one of his plays.)
STEP THREE: Include a quote from that play or old document in an obvious place, where people will think they're smart for spotting it.
Note that you get bonus points for changing a few of the words to make a clichéd turn of phrase, as it will stick in people's minds that way. Reference the last sentence of the previous chapter for an example.
Note that if you aren't familiar with Shakespeare, you can always use Greek philosophers instead. Nobody knows what the heck they were talking about, so talking about them in your books is a great way to pretend to be smart.
Everybody wins!
"O horrible, O horrible, most horrible!” Kaz cried as the alarm went off.
"Why,” Aydee said. "What should be thy fear?”
"More matter," Bastille said, pointing at the glass dome of the city, then pulling out her sword. “With less art.”
“Bid the players make haste!" I cried, dashing away from the fallen gun. We took off at a run toward Tuki Tuki.
All around us, the camp was coming alert. Fortunately, they didn't know what the disturbance was or what had caused it. Many of the Librarians seemed to assume that the shot had come from the besieged city, and they were forming up battle lines facing the dome. Others were running toward the place where the shot I'd fired had entered the jungle.
"If there be any good thing to be done . . ." Bastille said, looking about, worried.
The scrambling soldiers gave me an idea. Up ahead, I saw a gun rack where a bunch of rifles leaned, waiting to be picked up by Librarians for battle. I waved to the others, racing toward the rack. I ran past it, fingers brushing the weapons and engaging my Talent. They all fired, shooting glowing shots up into the air, arcing over the camp and furthering the chaos.
"What a piece of work is a man!" Kaz called, giving me a thumbs-up.
Librarian soldiers ran this way and that, confused. Amid them were men and women dressed in all black – stark black uniforms for the men, with black shirts and ties, and black skirts with black blouses for the women. Some of these noticed my group running through camp and began to cry out, pointing at us.
Aydee yelped suddenly,
And - as if to prove me wrong - I felt a little jolt as my Talent was engaged. The gun didn't fall apart, however.
It just fired. Shooting directly into the air with an extremely loud cracking noise, blasting a glowing ball of light into the sky.
Shocked, I dropped the gun. It hit the ground, going off again, shooting another glowing ball out into the forest.
The black night was completely still for a moment. And then, a loud blaring alarm noise began to echo through the camp.
"Frailty," Bastille said with a sigh, "thy name is Alcatraz."
ACT V, SCENE III
The following chapter introduction is an excerpt from Alcatraz Smedry's bestselling book, How to Sound Really Smart in Three Easy Steps .
STEP ONE: Find an old book that everyone has heard of but nobody has read .
The clever writers know that literary allusions are useful for lots of reasons other than giving you stuff to write when you run out of ideas. They can also make you look way more important. What better way to seem intelligent than to include an obscure phrase in your story? It screams, "Look how smart I am. I've read lots of old books."
STEP TWO: Skim through that old play or document until you find a section that makes no sense whatsoever.
Shakespeare is great for this for one simple reason: None of what he wrote makes any sense at all. Using confusing old phrases is important because it makes you look mysterious. Plus, if nobody knows what the original author meant, then they can't complain that you used the phrase wrong. (Shakespeare, it should be noted, was paid by other authors to write gibberish. That way, when they wanted to quote something that didn't make sense, they just had to reach for one of his plays.)
STEP THREE: Include a quote from that play or old document in an obvious place, where people will think they're smart for spotting it.
Note that you get bonus points for changing a few of the words to make a clichéd turn of phrase, as it will stick in people's minds that way. Reference the last sentence of the previous chapter for an example.
Note that if you aren't familiar with Shakespeare, you can always use Greek philosophers instead. Nobody knows what the heck they were talking about, so talking about them in your books is a great way to pretend to be smart.
Everybody wins!
"O horrible, O horrible, most horrible!” Kaz cried as the alarm went off.
"Why,” Aydee said. "What should be thy fear?”
"More matter," Bastille said, pointing at the glass dome of the city, then pulling out her sword. “With less art.”
“Bid the players make haste!" I cried, dashing away from the fallen gun. We took off at a run toward Tuki Tuki.
All around us, the camp was coming alert. Fortunately, they didn't know what the disturbance was or what had caused it. Many of the Librarians seemed to assume that the shot had come from the besieged city, and they were forming up battle lines facing the dome. Others were running toward the place where the shot I'd fired had entered the jungle.
"If there be any good thing to be done . . ." Bastille said, looking about, worried.
The scrambling soldiers gave me an idea. Up ahead, I saw a gun rack where a bunch of rifles leaned, waiting to be picked up by Librarians for battle. I waved to the others, racing toward the rack. I ran past it, fingers brushing the weapons and engaging my Talent. They all fired, shooting glowing shots up into the air, arcing over the camp and furthering the chaos.
"What a piece of work is a man!" Kaz called, giving me a thumbs-up.
Librarian soldiers ran this way and that, confused. Amid them were men and women dressed in all black – stark black uniforms for the men, with black shirts and ties, and black skirts with black blouses for the women. Some of these noticed my group running through camp and began to cry out, pointing at us.
Aydee yelped suddenly,
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