asked.
I froze, desperate for a
response to keep the crystal clear bottle of everything I needed to stay away
from outside my locked door. I came up empty. There was no fighting drunk logic.
Being drunk was like being a
zombie with a need for alcohol instead of brains, or whatever your mind decided
it wanted. Right now, these girls wanted in my room.
“Fine,” I agreed, “but when
Dawn gets back, you have to leave.”
“Not a problem,” the sitting
one said.
Her compatriot nodded
seriously, or as seriously as you can when you’re wasted off your ass.
They stumbled into the room
behind me and threw themselves on my bed in a fit of giggles. These girls were
like I had been back in college-take-one. Fun came before studying, friendship
and partying before grades.
I envied them. I coveted
what they had, the freedom of only needing to know where the next drink was
coming from.
The sad thing was that I
lived in that artificial abandon only a month ago. Would probably still be if
David hadn’t dumped and fired me.
My head started to pound,
the sweat slicking my hands seemed to slide up my arms to my neck, dripping
into my cleavage. I glanced from one of them to the other—living, breathing
proof why I was so lucky to have a roommate like Dawn.
Thank goodness for Twilight.
“I’m Steph,” the one who’d
been standing said.
“Alex,” the other one added.
“Kate,” I replied.
“Can I borrow those
sometime?” Steph asked, pointing to my Uggs. My college-age camouflage was
still working, even in such close proximity. Though boots to make me look nineteen
when I was really twenty-nine were definitely not what my grandmother had in
mind when she bought shares of Microsoft.
“Sure.” I figured I might
need to borrow something from her someday. It wasn’t like I wanted to wear
anything of Dawn’s.
There was a chance it would
bite me.
I sat cross-legged on the
floor in front of them.
“How’d you get stuck with
the Princess of Darkness?” Alex asked, nodding her chin toward her bed.
“We both needed a roommate.”
“She needs a warden.” Steph
took a long swig from the bottle and shoved it in my direction. “Want some?”
“No, I’m cool,” I said,
biting my lip so hard I could taste blood for how badly I did. If I were in AA,
I would have gotten my month sober chip at the end of this weekend.
A month, it was an
accomplishment, but I wondered if it really was when your whole life was a lie.
“What are you, a straight-edge-weirdo
like your roommate?” Steph asked.
Sullen, angry, and a
straight-edge Dawn was the perfect roommate for college-take-two. I just
had to make sure I stayed away from people like Steph and Alex for the next four
years. Unfortunately they encompassed 99.9% of the students here, and they were
in what was supposed to be my sanctuary, shoving liquor at me.
Why did I keep tempting
myself to break my rules?
Or had I forgotten college
was all about temptation?
“No, I don’t like vodka,” I
lied. I liked it fine. I liked anything that got me drunk. Sure, my preferred
poison was always Riesling, but if someone else was buying I’d drink moonshine,
or fucking Scope.
“Me neither, I drink it like
this,” Alex said holding her nose. It was adorably pink when she let go of it.
“You could drink something
else,” I offered.
They both laughed.
“Vodka has the least
calories,” Steph said as if she was explaining the secrets of the universe.
I nodded. It didn’t, but why
bother correcting her? Why waste the breath to tell them that drinking half a
bottle of vodka was fun and cute now, but sad and pathetic later?
That I was what
happened when the party never ended.
Alex peered at Dawn’s side
of the room and shivered. “It’s like half your room is haunted.”
“By Marilyn Manson,” Steph
laughed.
“Give her a break, guys.”
“Why would you want to?
Isn’t she like the roommate from hell?” Alex asked.
“Well,” I said, my brain
blinking to
I froze, desperate for a
response to keep the crystal clear bottle of everything I needed to stay away
from outside my locked door. I came up empty. There was no fighting drunk logic.
Being drunk was like being a
zombie with a need for alcohol instead of brains, or whatever your mind decided
it wanted. Right now, these girls wanted in my room.
“Fine,” I agreed, “but when
Dawn gets back, you have to leave.”
“Not a problem,” the sitting
one said.
Her compatriot nodded
seriously, or as seriously as you can when you’re wasted off your ass.
They stumbled into the room
behind me and threw themselves on my bed in a fit of giggles. These girls were
like I had been back in college-take-one. Fun came before studying, friendship
and partying before grades.
I envied them. I coveted
what they had, the freedom of only needing to know where the next drink was
coming from.
The sad thing was that I
lived in that artificial abandon only a month ago. Would probably still be if
David hadn’t dumped and fired me.
My head started to pound,
the sweat slicking my hands seemed to slide up my arms to my neck, dripping
into my cleavage. I glanced from one of them to the other—living, breathing
proof why I was so lucky to have a roommate like Dawn.
Thank goodness for Twilight.
“I’m Steph,” the one who’d
been standing said.
“Alex,” the other one added.
“Kate,” I replied.
“Can I borrow those
sometime?” Steph asked, pointing to my Uggs. My college-age camouflage was
still working, even in such close proximity. Though boots to make me look nineteen
when I was really twenty-nine were definitely not what my grandmother had in
mind when she bought shares of Microsoft.
“Sure.” I figured I might
need to borrow something from her someday. It wasn’t like I wanted to wear
anything of Dawn’s.
There was a chance it would
bite me.
I sat cross-legged on the
floor in front of them.
“How’d you get stuck with
the Princess of Darkness?” Alex asked, nodding her chin toward her bed.
“We both needed a roommate.”
“She needs a warden.” Steph
took a long swig from the bottle and shoved it in my direction. “Want some?”
“No, I’m cool,” I said,
biting my lip so hard I could taste blood for how badly I did. If I were in AA,
I would have gotten my month sober chip at the end of this weekend.
A month, it was an
accomplishment, but I wondered if it really was when your whole life was a lie.
“What are you, a straight-edge-weirdo
like your roommate?” Steph asked.
Sullen, angry, and a
straight-edge Dawn was the perfect roommate for college-take-two. I just
had to make sure I stayed away from people like Steph and Alex for the next four
years. Unfortunately they encompassed 99.9% of the students here, and they were
in what was supposed to be my sanctuary, shoving liquor at me.
Why did I keep tempting
myself to break my rules?
Or had I forgotten college
was all about temptation?
“No, I don’t like vodka,” I
lied. I liked it fine. I liked anything that got me drunk. Sure, my preferred
poison was always Riesling, but if someone else was buying I’d drink moonshine,
or fucking Scope.
“Me neither, I drink it like
this,” Alex said holding her nose. It was adorably pink when she let go of it.
“You could drink something
else,” I offered.
They both laughed.
“Vodka has the least
calories,” Steph said as if she was explaining the secrets of the universe.
I nodded. It didn’t, but why
bother correcting her? Why waste the breath to tell them that drinking half a
bottle of vodka was fun and cute now, but sad and pathetic later?
That I was what
happened when the party never ended.
Alex peered at Dawn’s side
of the room and shivered. “It’s like half your room is haunted.”
“By Marilyn Manson,” Steph
laughed.
“Give her a break, guys.”
“Why would you want to?
Isn’t she like the roommate from hell?” Alex asked.
“Well,” I said, my brain
blinking to
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