lot.”
“I miss you too,” I whispered. I shouldn’t have said that but I couldn’t deny the feelings in my heart.
“I’ll do anything for another chance. Every time I look at you, I want to be in your arms. Every day without you is excruciating. I know you said you’re done with me, but I see the way you look at me. It’s the same way you’ve always look at me. You’re just as in love with me as you were the first time we made love.”
“I never said that changed.”
“Then work it out with me,” she pleaded. “You would rath er force yourself to move on with someone else when you’re only going to think of me?”
No. I didn’t want that.
“We can take this as slow as you want. I realize I have to regain your trust. That isn’t going to happen overnight. I realize that.”
“I don’t know…”
“Yes, you do,” she said firmly. “Yes, you do.”
“Where was this three months ago? I told you how much I loved you, but you were determined not to believe me.”
“Because I was being stupid,” she said bluntly. “That’s why.”
“What did you do in Seattle? Did you date anyone?”
She looked offended. “Of course not. I stayed home every night and barely ate. You think I could just move onto someone else that quickly?”
“Well, you were the one who broke it off. I wasn’t sure…”
“No, Cortland. There’s only been you.”
“But I guess there’s no way for me to know if you’re lying.” That was a mean thing to say but I couldn’t help myself.
“You can call my brother and ask him. He was with me nearly the entire time. I was home every night. I never talked to anyone. I didn’t go anywhere.”
Monnique didn’t seem like she would sleep with someone else so quickly, but then again, she didn’t seem like she would leave me either.
“Cortland, I’ll marry you today if that’s what it takes to convince you.” The desperation escaped in her voice.”
“Monnique, love is not the issue. Yes, I love you. And even now I want to take you back and marry you. But I’m hurt. And that’s the part you can’t fix. I feel resentful toward you. I can’t just forgive you for everything you did to me.”
She nodded. “I know…”
I stared out the window.
“I’ll wait as long as I have to,” she said gently.
“Honestly, I don’t know if I’m ever going to come around.”
“I know you will,” she said. “Because you’ve never loved anyone the way you love me.”
Her confidence warmed my heart even though it shouldn’t.
“Hazel is a very pretty girl.”
What was her point?
“And I don’t see anything in your eyes when you look at her. You’re completely immune to her, to all women.”
She knew me well after all.
“Because I’m the only girl in your heart. If you still love me this much after three months, honor that emotion and give me another chance. I’m not going to stop until I know you’ll never change your mind indefinitely.”
I didn’t know what to say. I stared at my coffee.
“Come over,” she whispered.
“What?”
“Come over.”
I knew exactly what she wanted to do.
“When we make love, you’ll understand just how much I love you.”
God, that was tempting. I hadn’t gotten laid in three months. My dick was about to fall off. But I couldn’t do that. My emotions would manipulate me. “No.”
She sighed, disappointed.
This was too hard for me. I couldn’t think clearly when this beautiful woman sat across from me. My control and pragmatism went out the window. I wanted to combine my body with hers and get back to where I wanted to be. All her words soaked through my skin, making me feel joy and pain at the same time. “I have to go…” I stood up then took a deep breath.
She looked out the window. “Okay.” She didn’t fight me.
I walked out then headed up the sidewalk, the opposite way of my car. I didn’t know where I was going but I didn’t need a direction. I was lost—completely lost.
9
Sean
I
“I miss you too,” I whispered. I shouldn’t have said that but I couldn’t deny the feelings in my heart.
“I’ll do anything for another chance. Every time I look at you, I want to be in your arms. Every day without you is excruciating. I know you said you’re done with me, but I see the way you look at me. It’s the same way you’ve always look at me. You’re just as in love with me as you were the first time we made love.”
“I never said that changed.”
“Then work it out with me,” she pleaded. “You would rath er force yourself to move on with someone else when you’re only going to think of me?”
No. I didn’t want that.
“We can take this as slow as you want. I realize I have to regain your trust. That isn’t going to happen overnight. I realize that.”
“I don’t know…”
“Yes, you do,” she said firmly. “Yes, you do.”
“Where was this three months ago? I told you how much I loved you, but you were determined not to believe me.”
“Because I was being stupid,” she said bluntly. “That’s why.”
“What did you do in Seattle? Did you date anyone?”
She looked offended. “Of course not. I stayed home every night and barely ate. You think I could just move onto someone else that quickly?”
“Well, you were the one who broke it off. I wasn’t sure…”
“No, Cortland. There’s only been you.”
“But I guess there’s no way for me to know if you’re lying.” That was a mean thing to say but I couldn’t help myself.
“You can call my brother and ask him. He was with me nearly the entire time. I was home every night. I never talked to anyone. I didn’t go anywhere.”
Monnique didn’t seem like she would sleep with someone else so quickly, but then again, she didn’t seem like she would leave me either.
“Cortland, I’ll marry you today if that’s what it takes to convince you.” The desperation escaped in her voice.”
“Monnique, love is not the issue. Yes, I love you. And even now I want to take you back and marry you. But I’m hurt. And that’s the part you can’t fix. I feel resentful toward you. I can’t just forgive you for everything you did to me.”
She nodded. “I know…”
I stared out the window.
“I’ll wait as long as I have to,” she said gently.
“Honestly, I don’t know if I’m ever going to come around.”
“I know you will,” she said. “Because you’ve never loved anyone the way you love me.”
Her confidence warmed my heart even though it shouldn’t.
“Hazel is a very pretty girl.”
What was her point?
“And I don’t see anything in your eyes when you look at her. You’re completely immune to her, to all women.”
She knew me well after all.
“Because I’m the only girl in your heart. If you still love me this much after three months, honor that emotion and give me another chance. I’m not going to stop until I know you’ll never change your mind indefinitely.”
I didn’t know what to say. I stared at my coffee.
“Come over,” she whispered.
“What?”
“Come over.”
I knew exactly what she wanted to do.
“When we make love, you’ll understand just how much I love you.”
God, that was tempting. I hadn’t gotten laid in three months. My dick was about to fall off. But I couldn’t do that. My emotions would manipulate me. “No.”
She sighed, disappointed.
This was too hard for me. I couldn’t think clearly when this beautiful woman sat across from me. My control and pragmatism went out the window. I wanted to combine my body with hers and get back to where I wanted to be. All her words soaked through my skin, making me feel joy and pain at the same time. “I have to go…” I stood up then took a deep breath.
She looked out the window. “Okay.” She didn’t fight me.
I walked out then headed up the sidewalk, the opposite way of my car. I didn’t know where I was going but I didn’t need a direction. I was lost—completely lost.
9
Sean
I
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